cnd staff car and cars that need torching

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by tazmanian_clogdancer, Jan 22, 2006.

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  1. thought these had been resigned to the dustbin of history but NO got stuck behind a 2cv with mandatory nuclear no thanks sticker today ironically polluting the planet more than a herd of 432's. I know Jeremy clarkson does this better but which cars would you like to see peppered full of lead?

    1.citreon 2cv driven by vicars, bruce kent and kidnapped peace activists.

    2. nissan micra driven by people who cant see over the steering wheel and out the eyeslits on that!

    3. citreon berlingo has full rear window to enable you full window licker views.

    4. seat alhambra official sponsor of the taliban touring club of GB.

    5.anything from korea.

    over to you or a swift kick into the arrsehole.
  2. Dear Sir, do not slag off he 2CV, it was around for many years. Its only drawback was that it was french. Allegedly the cabbage-heads got 5 in the 50's to assess their suitability on beach landings. Ok so it hasnt got the mod cons of any other car, ok it is a little on the slow side (can outrun a K9 or an military Austin Van), ok its got f*** all going for it but its a great car, just hijacked by left wing, tree-hugging, anoraks (and me). I was sad to see it go but life goes on.
  3. Dont even mention ford scrotes ( escorts ) Just the thought of one puts me in need of intensive counselling!!!
  4. Not too keen on the newer version of the Renault Scenic (although I like the key card idea); Austin Metro's - especially shit-brown ones with that cheap B&Q sticker-stripe going around the car; don't know the name for them but those light blue one seater mong 'cars' - I wish I could find the picture - what an ugly fcuker that was, it looked like a very poor prototype of the Sinclair C5 with a roof. How the fcuk anyone paid to drive that.
    Any Chav Nova or Chav Hyundai Atoz 8O - there's one round the corner from where I am atm bodykitted in black, tinted windows, yellow 'flash' stickers on the back doors with a wide bore exhaust pipe :D I kid you not. Its just asking for a piece of scaffolding to be slung right through the windscreen.

    I'm sure there's more I can add....
  5. Replacement for the Guy:


    A bloke who pulls in that is an absolute scholar.
  6. is that a mong recce vehicle?
  7. Used to see quite a few of those at televised football matches in the 1970s. In the old-style grounds of those days, there was room to park about a dozen of them. I think Health & Safety finally intervened and banned them when rioting fans overturned all the vehicles at one ground and the occupants had to be rescued by mounted police.

    Vauxhall Nova has to be the leading contender for death by fire and brimstone. The saloon models were particularly hideous - looked like someone had welded the boot off a completely different vehicle onto the back of it.

    I'd also add all Rovers driven by someone who is wearing a flat cap and who is also apparently suffering from the onset of rigor mortis.

    And the Renault Scenic that tried brake testing me on the M6 this morning after taking objection to the fact that his pulling out into the middle lane at 55 mph, without indicating took me somewhat by surprise and left me less than the Highway Code recommended stopping distance from his boot, and nearly in it when he slammed his brakes on to get me to back off. This condemnation to be peppered with lead applies only to this particular Scenic, and only if the short-arrsed **** of a driver happens to be in the vehicle at the time.
  8. Anything driven under 60mph on either a dual carriageway or motorway, they don't realise they're actually putting road users at more risk of an accident by going too slowly.
    4x4 drivers, excluding those who drive a defender or III series. If you need to go offroad get a defender, if you don't get a proper car that is safer (to other road users), cheaper, uses less fuel and I could go on
    People who drive around with their fog lights on, they're for use when it's FOGGY, not all the time :twisted:
    Vauxhall Cavaliers, cos everyone who seems to still have one has lost the ability to drive and only has one light working
    BMW drivers. I'm sure there are good ones out there somewhere, but they're the bane of my life. (well, almost)

    oh and finally the cnut who hit me north of penrith in the summer, taking off my wing mirror and not stopping after he hit me, cos he was overtaking on an a road and we hit about 100mph, luckily I was quick on the brakes. If I ever find that git who nearly killed me I'll chop his bits off and sell them to an african to use as interesting earrings
  9. Peronally have a hatred for anything with a taxi sign on it - irrespective of make - ive come to the conclusion that whatever tests you have to take to become a taxi driver must be the hardest in the world - becuase none of the morons seem to have even come close to passing - and im not to sure that having a driving licence is compulsory either.
  10. Anything containing two or more tw@ts wearing baseball caps.
  11. 1. Smart cars

    2. Anything with a gold encrusted hanky box on the back window.

    3. Cars that obviously havent passed a MOT (legally)

    4. Jap cars with most of the eastern continent travelling in it.

    5. Chav cars
  12. Many years ago was stood next to a line of defenders which were well bogged on a road(?) at Drawska Pomorskie. Lots of fuss as the sappers and remes organised the digging out. A VW Polo with its roof cut off enabling it to carry two turdis' writhed its way through our convoy and the awful deep sand. Nothing to do with the thread but it amused me.
  13. Oh, and my friends car which was once a sensible vauxhall corsa, now modded up to the hilt, looks like a fairground ride with the flashing neon lights and blasting 'choons'. No boot space as its all taken with boxes of subs, and no rear seats either for the same reason, complete with an exhaust the size of a dustbin!!! The last i heard, the neighbours were writing to brainiac to see if it could take part in the 'Tina turner and her bunsen burner' slot'!
  14. If we're talking stock cars, there's nothing that looks more preposterous in current production than the shite that Fiat churn out.

    Then we have the custom-kings 8O :

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