Clutching at Straws - God Bless the Police

#1
Best quote ever. Some gal has got herself kidnapped in Bristol. But the coppers quote had me in hysterics:

Det Ch Insp Gareth Bevan, from Avon and Somerset Police, said: "We believe Jo reached her home address shortly after 8.30pm on Friday evening.

"From CCTV, we know she bought a pizza at Tesco Express in Clifton Village and there is no evidence of the pizza, the wrappings or the box in the flat.

"It's a Tesco Finest mozzarella, tomato and basil pesto pizza. Does anyone know where this is?"

Full story:

BBC News - Parents fear missing daughter abducted in Bristol
 
C

CivPlod

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#2
That has made me shake my head in utter shame...................I can understand his point up to the last quote, then he looks like a bonnet. A full cheese bonnet.
 
#4
Well we woz 'ungry Guv and couldn't concentrate on the investigation!!!

Grade A tit for not checking just what he was supposed to be saying!
 
#5
If lived near Bristol I'd feel obliged to go and buy a few of Tesco's finest and distribute them about the city to give the poor chap a few leads.
 
#9
She, and the pizza, were abducted by aliens who are now trying to fathom out exactly what sort of twisted society could create something as appalling as pesto.
 
#11
I was sat in the local Honda dealership waiting on my truck coming out from it's MOT when this popped up on the tv, the sound was rather low so I could not hear what was being said. I was however wondering why I spent a good thirty seconds looking at a pizza.
 
#13
I was surfing channels and missed the first part of the report; I sat there wondering why a copper was droning on and on about pizza. Was this some new satirical sketch show?

I would love to be proven wrong, but no way this is going to end well. After they finish with the pizza, Plod should check the boyfriend and the parents very carefully.
 
#14
I'm trying to work out why you've got a problem with this. On the face of it the quote seems incongruous but if you read the story the pizza, or absence of, is an anomoly which might lead to the missing woman. Surely worth a mention by the copper while he's on the box.
 
#16
I'm trying to work out why you've got a problem with this. On the face of it the quote seems incongruous but if you read the story the pizza, or absence of, is an anomoly which might lead to the missing woman. Surely worth a mention by the copper while he's on the box.
How, exactly? It's not a 'phone number or a car licence plate. It's a fcuking pizza. Hundreds of people will have bought one just like it. It's not unique and therefore traceable.
 
#17
How, exactly? It's not a 'phone number or a car licence plate. It's a fcuking pizza. Hundreds of people will have bought one just like it. It's not unique and therefore traceable.
But seeing an uneaten pizza still in the box dumped next to a canal or in a woods or something isn't that common. It could potentially help find her, and if it doesn't then the police have lost nothing except for the few minutes in a press conference. I'm sure crimes have been solved on smaller details before.

On the other hand I always subscribe to the theory that whoever cries first in the press conference is guilty so I expect to see the coppers give the boyfriend the four o'clock knock within a fortnight.
 
#18
But seeing an uneaten pizza still in the box dumped next to a canal or in a woods or something isn't that common. It could potentially help find her, and if it doesn't then the police have lost nothing except for the few minutes in a press conference. I'm sure crimes have been solved on smaller details before.

On the other hand I always subscribe to the theory that whoever cries first in the press conference is guilty so I expect to see the coppers give the boyfriend the four o'clock within a fortnight.
I thought the same report showed Plod already searching woods etc. But hey, I hope your right.
 
#19
Dear fuckwits what if and it is a big what if, pizza box was found in an unusual location which was then through DNA matched to the girl, which could then identify a crime scene which could lead to an offender etc etc. Only last week some scum was sent to prison after 18 years because of low copy DNA improvements. If you have nothing some times a straw will look like good evidence.
Happy Christmas
 
#20
Dear fuckwits what if and it is a big what if, pizza box was found in an unusual location which was then through DNA matched to the girl, which could then identify a crime scene which could lead to an offender etc etc. Only last week some scum was sent to prison after 18 years because of low copy DNA improvements. If you have nothing some times a straw will look like good evidence.
Happy Christmas from CSI Bristol
Fixed it for you. And a merry Xmas to you as well.
 

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