Clumsy W*nks! Opinions wanted

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by intergeri, Dec 16, 2008.

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  1. I have just finished a discussion with a mate of mine and he's just informed me that a clumsy w*nk,

    i.e. a w*nk from a woman who has no idea what she is doing,

    1. too tight a grip,
    2. nails anywhere!!!( he told me to put exclamation marks),
    3. cutting off circulation(if it's blue you may wanna loosen your grip a tad),
    4. making foreskin touch testicles,
    5. getting an involuntary brazillian as pubic hair is ripped out by your foreskin,

    is worse than not having a w*nk at all. Surely this isn't true?

  2. A wanks a wank you can always teach them, explination demonstration imitation as they say. :wink: :wink:
  3. Exactly what i said but he insisted that all you're thinking about at that moment in time is getting a w*nk. Whether or not she may improve in the future would never cross your mind.
  4. Yes, gentlemen, this indeed a vexed point, vexed further by the fact that, in my experience anyway, a man can always give a woman a better hand job than vice versa. I honestly do wonder why that is. In my own illustrious career I think I can safely say no woman has successfully brought me off purely by hand, although many of the fairer sex will attest to me having more magical fingers than Chopin.
  5. I did have a swamp donkey once that tried really hard to either stretch my tiddler to 20" proportions or pull it out by the root.... And no advice was absorbed, she didn't like my willy and wanted to kill it l think.
  6. Do you find their hands too soft? Prefer calloused and rough? And I'm sorry to say i have to disagree with your first point or maybe that's just in my experience :wink:
  7. The answer is simple. Just let a bloke wank you off. At least they know how to fucking do it.

    I prefer a smooth arsed 15 year old choir boy personally.
  8. Nah Geri, nothing to do with texture, it's all about jazz and motoring - de rydm and de clutch !
  9. Well, indeed. What is This Century? Rent boys, cacamites.....sorry, catamites ( I'm not really an expert in this field...), even straightforward Village People { quick sidetrack...In The Navy by said bunch of trannies was on the telly today and it made me think about Arrse when the line " They want you, They want you, They want you as a new recruit!" came up...can't think why...}are history. What is today's name for a ringripper?

    Edited for elaboration. If you were referring Them to a third party, would you say " Them want you as a new ..." or.....

    I think I'd better rush off for a change of identities, keep the coat.......
  10. Scrofula?? :D
  11. The Aled Jones voice breaking mystery is solved at last. 8O
  12. Er, no Geri. Scrofula actually is a pain in the neck -check it! - not the arrse!
  13. more opinions wanted now:

    Scrofula: pain in the arsse or pain in the neck? :lol:
  14. It could also mean touched by Royalty - again! check it!.
  15. I'm sorry I'll rephrase it then:
    Scrofula , pain in the arrse, pain in the neck or regularly touched by Royalty? Opinions??

    And does that not just mean I was right all along??

    P.S. Don'tgiveashit- check it!