Club Slug

G

Goku

Guest
#1
Dale the snail is slowly gaining a small army of stalkers, so love her or hate her, our resident fireman needs an appreciation club.

We are going to need a list of members and a select few willing to take on administrative roles.

Hellfyyr is uber keen to be her no. 1 stalker, a position he is most welcome to.
Helly your role will be to hang outside her back doors as often as possible, sing her off key love songs about snail trails, and pinch her used socks on laundry day.

I shall be club president purely because I feel like doing bugger all :D
I’ll be collecting membership fees and pocketing most of them. Occasionally I may post pictures of everyone’s favourite snail asleep in a puddle of her own vomit – I know Helly will find this arousing, maybe I should charge for these action shots?

StabTiffy2B can be our minister of propergander and Dales stress relief tool.
His job will be to make up amusing stories about her and to allow Dale to remove his underpants by force while he’s still wearing them – there’s comedy value in this, maybe he should be the club jester??

So who else wants to be in our little club?
What job would you like if any?
Just how much do you love dale? – don’t get carried away or Hellfyyr might get jealous.
Most importantly, what should we name club Dale?
 
#2
Buchenwald? Carstairs? Broadmoor? :lol:
 
#3
Goku said:
Dale the snail is slowly gaining a small army of stalkers, so love her or hate her, our resident fireman needs an appreciation club.

We are going to need a list of members and a select few willing to take on administrative roles.

Hellfyyr is uber keen to be her no. 1 stalker, a position he is most welcome to.
Helly your role will be to hang outside her back doors as often as possible, sing her off key love songs about snail trails, and pinch her used socks on laundry day.

I shall be club president purely because I feel like doing bugger all :D
I’ll be collecting membership fees and pocketing most of them. Occasionally I may post pictures of everyone’s favourite snail asleep in a puddle of her own vomit – I know Helly will find this arousing, maybe I should charge for these action shots?

StabTiffy2B can be our minister of propergander and Dales stress relief tool.
His job will be to make up amusing stories about her and to allow Dale to remove his underpants by force while he’s still wearing them – there’s comedy value in this, maybe he should be the club jester??

So who else wants to be in our little club?
What job would you like if any?
Just how much do you love dale? – don’t get carried away or Hellfyyr might get jealous.
Most importantly, what should we name club Dale?
Not jealous as I am a new man and its not as if she can stray whilst drugged and connected to me by Percy is it?

I vote I am given the position of gigolo, Goku you can be my PA and stabtiffy whilst providing entertainment is our forward scout (think Gollum)
 
#4
I would join but she has made it quite clear that im to fat and ugly so balls to it.
 
G

Goku

Guest
#5
I know nothing about that but if you are willing to sing and dance anything by abba for the slug, you can have a job as minister of entertainment.
 
#7
Goku said:
I know nothing about that but if you are willing to sing and dance anything by abba for the slug, you can have a job as minister of entertainment.
I call "knowing me (carnally), knowing you"
 
#9
IndianaDel said:
Do we get bagges like Blue Peter for this club then?
If so then im in, what will these badges get us for free????
 
G

Goku

Guest
#10
There will be badges, there shall be a competition to choose the design. It must be of a design suitable to Dale – a snail.

These badges will get the wearer free entrance to your local petting zoo and half price off ice cream and balloons.
 
#11
Well, as Dales a fireman/person/lady, I've got a pole she can slide up and down on. Do I get extra icecream for the self sacrifice? :D
 
#13
sandmanfez said:
Well, as Dales a fireman/person/lady, I've got a pole she can slide up and down on. Do I get extra icecream for the self sacrifice? :D
Not a chance.
 
#14
Dale the snail said:
hallveg said:
IndianaDel said:
Do we get bagges like Blue Peter for this club then?
If so then im in, what will these badges get us for free????
Yay, another punter. :wink:
yet another service you provide, and for a change this one is free! spelling and grammar, wot a ladie!!! :wink:

p.s. i would normally have added an ending like; Pettle or chick or mate (God forbid) but i know your feelings on this so i wont, you see i might be slow but ill get there in t end.
 
#15
Bags Master Of The Cold Cauliflower And Pasta Wrestling Pit. Got a cattle prod wired up to three phase to stop the sacrificial victims getting out before the Slug has licked all the slime off them.
 
#16
Can I offer myself as Mr Discretion - Dale's 'shoulder to cry on'. Whenever she needs to share her innermost fears and troubles I can listen attentively, respond supportively, and only leak selectively for the general amusement of Club Slug. Or publish wholesale if someone threatens to invoke a FOI 'request'.
 
#18
BFG 9000 said:
Am I the only one that got excited at the thought of clubbing the slug in the same way as you'd club a seal?


TTFN

BFG
Nope... i thought this would be a follow on from the seal culling thread... if you whacked dale with a baseball bat on the bonce the tsunami of mixed man fat that would shoot out of her tw@t like toothpaste from a tube could be used to remark the M6 from Birmingham to Crewe. :D
 
#19
6 min loyal service in this club entitles you to kick her rancid old saggy cnut in with hob nail boots.
 
#20
Greengrass said:
6 min loyal service in this club entitles you to kick her rancid old saggy cnut in with hob nail boots.
Missing me already dear?????? 6 minutes? You couldn't even play rugby that long. :wink:
 

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