Clowns

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by vinniethemanxcat, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. A man attends the circus and is enjoying himself until a clown appears and asks for a volunteer.

    No-one volunteers so the clown jumps into the audience and picks on the man who is reluctantly guided into the ring.

    The clown hands him a mic and asks him, "Sir are you the top end of a prick?"

    "No" replies the man
    "Then are you the bottom end of a prick?"

    "No" replies the man.

    "Ladies and gentlemen I'd like to advise you all that this gentleman here is no end of a prick"

    The audience scream with laughter and the humiliated man leaves the ring and goes home.

    Next day he is feeling better and decides to go back to the circus and see the rest of the acts he was enjoying so much.

    At half time, on comes the clown and without asking for a volunteer he sees the man, jumps into the audience and drags him out again.

    Again the clown hands him a mic and asks him, "Sir are you the top end of a prick?"

    "No" replies the man through gritted teeth, "Then are you the bottom end of a prick?"

    "No" replies the man.

    "Ladies and gentlemen I'd like to advise you all that this gentleman here is no end of a prick"

    Again the audience erupts with laughter and the embarrassed man leaves the circus vowing to have his revenge.

    Next day he visits his uncle, known as a master of wit and repartee and explains his problem.

    "I come across dicks like this all the time," said the master of wit and repartee. I'll come with you to tonight's performance and sort the cocky b*stard out.

    Again the man enjoys the first half of that nights show and yet again on comes the clown at the interval and, on seeing the man, he runs in to grab him once again.

    As he touches the mans arm the master of wit and repartee intervenes and says to the clown

    "No, leave him alone, I'll come in to the ring with you."

    The clown licks his lips at the prospect of another stooge and leads the master of wit and repartee into the ring.

    He stands for a few seconds then turns to the master of wit and repartee and asks.

    "Tell me sir are you the top end of a prick?"

    The master of wit and repartee studies the clown for a few seconds then replies, "No".

    "Then tell me sir" asked the clown. "Are you the bottom end of a prick?"

    Again the master of wit and repartee waits a few seconds and stares at the clown before answering "No".

    With a huge grin the clown turns away and announces to the audience

    "Ladies and gentlemen, tonight I'd like to advise you all that this gentleman here is no end of a prick"

    The master of wit and repartee looks at the clown and in a loud voice replies, "F*ck off you red nosed b*stard".