Went to visit a mate in hospital today, he was ripping out a bathroom last week in a pair of trainers and stood on a nail, right through to the bone at the ball end of his foot. Soon as he got out of A and E he went straight home and didnt cash in his prescription. In short he ended up in ITU with septecimia, very close call, cunt looks like death warmed up and is completely fucked for the short term. Get's you thinking though; here one minute and all that bollocks.. I got offered a lift once to Salisbury from Plymouth at Christmas leave, and I was then going to carry on up North on the train so it would have saved me a touch on the trains, it was a civvy I knew who worked at Derriford Hospital, was just getting squared away to meet him when I got a text from a bird to go to a house party, I 'ummed and aahed' for a bit then binned off my lift as she was essentially the first girl who sucked me off to completion and let me paint her face with it, he creamed in on a country road in a Golf GTI that he drove like a lunatic, the car was concertinered and he was decapitated, I ALWAYS nod off on long journeys so I wouldnt have been any the wiser. Worse still when I went for a wander round the U.S. I met a couple of Essex boys and spent a week on the lash with them, it was my early 20's and you had to carry your passport to get served ale, went out one night without it in Savannah, Georgia and got turned away, to a cacophany of piss taking from the pair of quims I jumped in a taxi back to my room then got him to drop me off near a cash point. Got some cash and started to get my bearings when 3 black lads fell into step behind me, dark street, no one about and it was clear from the off they were weighing me up, no contest really I'd have been mullerred, started picking up the pace and considered slinging my wallet at them and bolting, they were whispering about 20 yards behind me and I heard one say 'do it', to say my arse went would be an understatement, 2 were big lads, all in their late teens, was 5 seconds off breaking into a sprint when I turned a corner and there was a big fuck off queue outside a cinema, I slotted straight in at the back and Curly, Larry and Mo flashed me toothy, shit eating grins and strolled on past me, the one in the middle, calm as fuck folded up a knife and stuck it back in his pockets. Naturally I told the perma-tanned Essex twins I saw the cunts off with swear words and a gruff Yorkshire accent. No war stories, what's your closest shave?