Cliché Thread

There's load of them we've all heard. I am collecting them so please feel free to continue below:

Arse like a wizards sleeve/clowns pocket like a blind coblers thumb

i am sure there's loads to be added to my collection :D
here ya go troop:
face like a slapped arse.
face like a bulldog licking the pish off a stinging nettle
tits like two saddle bags
evrybody has the right to be ugly but she abuses that right.
will let you have more as i remember/hear them. :twisted:
Mouth as dry as a nun's cnut.
Face like a bulldog chewing a wasp.
Face like a duck's arrse.
Mouth like the inside of a shit smugglers duffle bag
more faces than the kirk clock
seen thicker legs hanging out a sparrows nest
couldnt score in a whore house with a £50 note wrapped round his/your c0ck
mouth as dry as ghandi's flip flop
sweating like a rapist in a school playground
My entries for posterity........

She has a face that would scare a police horse :p

They could talk a glass eyeball to sleep :p

As well organised as a Mexican police station :p

Also following a large curry, the inevitable and dangerous windy consequences I think I have drawn mud from the well 8O :p

She has a flange like a dripping axe wound 8O :D

Instructions to reduce the amount of salad to local vendor of kebabs..Oi stavros go easy on the camouflage! :D
Sweating like Gary Glitter in a Vietnamese courtroom.....
Sweating like Michael Jackson on a trolley dash in an orphanage......
Birdy said:
Tighter than a duck's arrse.Looking rough than a badger's arrse.

Lie Lie Lie... well, at least it wasn't tight after I'd finished with it :D anyone else going to confess to dabbling in animal love?
She had breath like a shhit smugglers duffle bag...........

He went down like a maiden on a crawl.....

Edited because the Shhit came out all runny, and the maidens still not come up for air..
Her Ass has more crack than Harlem.
So Fat her belt is put on with a boomerang.
Sweating like a black man on a rape charge in Alabama.
Emptier than a Hermits Address Book.
Face Like a Bulldog licking piss off nettles.
So mean if he was a ghost he wouldnt give you a fright.
Courtesy of my Jock father-in-law:

"I haven't laughed so hard since Auntie Mabel got her t!t caught in the mangler."
She's got a pus like a bag full of smashed crabs

Nice bloke... wrong planet

Fanny like the inside of a wellington boot

He's got a c*ck like a button mushroom

(pertaining to the 'monthlys')... better late then never!

He looks like he fell out the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down... with his face.

<... there's so many!>
It doesn't take the brains of an Arch Bishop...

(This always confused me - they can't be that clever if they walk about in dresses and silly hats can they?)

Thicker than an elephants foreskin..

edited for spelling, my head dobber slipped off...
She's got a twa-t that looks like a badly wrapped kebab.

She's got a twa-t so big it was like waving a cocktail stick in the Albert Hall.

So ugly that you're dad would punch you in the face if you took it home.

He's like a light house in a desert, incredibly bright but fcuk all use to anyone.

Similar threads

Latest Threads