Cliché Thread

#1
There's load of them we've all heard. I am collecting them so please feel free to continue below:

Arse like a wizards sleeve/clowns pocket

Co.ck like a blind coblers thumb

i am sure there's loads to be added to my collection :D
 
#2
here ya go troop:
face like a slapped arse.
face like a bulldog licking the pish off a stinging nettle
tits like two saddle bags
evrybody has the right to be ugly but she abuses that right.
will let you have more as i remember/hear them. :twisted:
 
#4
Mouth like the inside of a shit smugglers duffle bag
 
#6
more faces than the kirk clock
seen thicker legs hanging out a sparrows nest
couldnt score in a whore house with a £50 note wrapped round his/your c0ck
mouth as dry as ghandi's flip flop
sweating like a rapist in a school playground
 
#8
My entries for posterity........

She has a face that would scare a police horse :p

They could talk a glass eyeball to sleep :p

As well organised as a Mexican police station :p

Also following a large curry, the inevitable and dangerous windy consequences I think I have drawn mud from the well 8O :p

She has a flange like a dripping axe wound 8O :D

Instructions to reduce the amount of salad to local vendor of kebabs..Oi stavros go easy on the camouflage! :D
 
#9
Sweating like Gary Glitter in a Vietnamese courtroom.....
 
#10
Sweating like Michael Jackson on a trolley dash in an orphanage......
 
#12
Birdy said:
Tighter than a duck's arrse.Looking rough than a badger's arrse.


Lie Lie Lie... well, at least it wasn't tight after I'd finished with it :D anyone else going to confess to dabbling in animal love?
 
#13
She had breath like a shhit smugglers duffle bag...........


He went down like a maiden on a crawl.....


Edited because the Shhit came out all runny, and the maidens still not come up for air..
 
#15
Her Ass has more crack than Harlem.
So Fat her belt is put on with a boomerang.
Sweating like a black man on a rape charge in Alabama.
Emptier than a Hermits Address Book.
Face Like a Bulldog licking piss off nettles.
So mean if he was a ghost he wouldnt give you a fright.
 
#16
Courtesy of my Jock father-in-law:

"I haven't laughed so hard since Auntie Mabel got her t!t caught in the mangler."
 
#17
She's got a pus like a bag full of smashed crabs

Nice bloke... wrong planet

Fanny like the inside of a wellington boot

He's got a c*ck like a button mushroom

(pertaining to the 'monthlys')... better late then never!

He looks like he fell out the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down... with his face.

<... there's so many!>
 
#19
It doesn't take the brains of an Arch Bishop...

(This always confused me - they can't be that clever if they walk about in dresses and silly hats can they?)

Thicker than an elephants foreskin..


edited for spelling, my head dobber slipped off...
 
#20
She's got a twa-t that looks like a badly wrapped kebab.

She's got a twa-t so big it was like waving a cocktail stick in the Albert Hall.

So ugly that you're dad would punch you in the face if you took it home.

He's like a light house in a desert, incredibly bright but fcuk all use to anyone.
 
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