Clever Things your Kidss Say

#1
My 6 year old daughter likes to play this game "If you were stranded on a desert island would you bring (a) or (b).
So the game got around to books tonight. Her Mom answered "Somestupidshit by some insufferable and obscure Russian...." and I said "a notebook, to write my own stories".
Then I asked " Which book would YOU bring, love?"
JugendViolator looked at us both as if we were TRH Mong and said : "I'd bring a book that tells me how to get off the island".
I beamed with pride while choking with laughter.

What are some clever things come up with by other ArrSelets?
 
#3
" daddy was a civvie in blue...Uncle dave says so!!"
 
#4
Come home from work to find minigull sat in front of the tv playing on the xbox (he's 5 at the time)

TSG "how long have you been on that?"

MiniTSG: puts down controller, shrugs his shoulders, and replies with a sigh "I don't know daddy, I can't tell the time".

Cue chuckling from MRSTSG.
 
#5
My mate to his urchin cockney kids,

What's the difference between bought it and brought it?

Reply,

Bought it means you buyed it and brought it means you bringed it...
 
#6
"Dad, if you pick me up at 3am, you won't be lying awake all night, wondering whether I've forgotten my door key."
 
#8
Mini squib at a very young age: "Daddy, giraffes have very long necks, how can they lick their bottoms like Schon (the dog) does?"
 
#9
Daddy your a total cunt - hes only 4 months - How fucking perceptive and clever is that to know his dad so well at such a young age......
 
#10
A friend's 6 yr old girl went up to her dad at a kids party and said "pull my finger" before farting loudly. Classic
 
A

Aleegee1698

Guest
#11
Whilst sat down one evening to our usual tea of Lidl Fish-fingers, oven chips and penny-saver beans, my 4 year old son said "Dad, did you know that Einstein stated that the theory of relativity belongs to the class of "principle-theories". As such it employs an analytic method. This means that the elements which comprise this theory are not based on hypothesis but on empirical discovery. The empirical discovery leads to understanding the general characteristics of natural processes. Mathematical models are then developed which separate the natural processes into theoretical-mathematical descriptions. Therefore, by analytical means the necessary conditions that have to be satisfied are deduced. Separate events must satisfy these conditions. Experience should then match the conclusions". My, how we laughed!
 
#12
Daddy your a total cunt - hes only 4 months - How fucking perceptive and clever is that to know his dad so well at such a young age......
Well, speaking at 4 months is clever, but I don't think you've got much evidence for the "How fucking perceptive" bit. I think even a newly-hatched cockroach has got that sussed. :grin:

You need to work on his grammar, though. That should have been "Daddy, you're a total cunt". It's the first survival skill he needs to learn if he wants to venture in darkest Arssica at some stage and remain safe from lurking Grammar Nazis. However, it would certainly make an excellent first post.
 
#13
Whilst sat down one evening to our usual tea of Lidl Fish-fingers, oven chips and penny-saver beans, my 4 year old son said "Dad, did you know that Einstein stated that the theory of relativity belongs to the class of "principle-theories". As such it employs an analytic method. This means that the elements which comprise this theory are not based on hypothesis but on empirical discovery. The empirical discovery leads to understanding the general characteristics of natural processes. Mathematical models are then developed which separate the natural processes into theoretical-mathematical descriptions. Therefore, by analytical means the necessary conditions that have to be satisfied are deduced. Separate events must satisfy these conditions. Experience should then match the conclusions". My, how we laughed!
Yeah, go on, laugh it up. But he was right, though.
 
#15
What are some clever things come up with by other ArrSelets?
The twins have a habit of interrogating me in tandem about random things and depending on my mood I either give them a straight answer or wind them up. Last week, after a flippant response, H+20 turned to H and said with a look of utter contempt, "He's being stupid again. Just ignore him".

I was so proud.
 
#16
Not mine but me brother's two nippers are awesome! (One slightly more gifted than the other.)

Granny holding a two-and-bit year old Poppy in the garden:
"Look Poppy - can you see the plane flying?"
Poppy:
"I prefer them with a vapour trail!"

Mum and dad of Poppy watching a documentary on Bastion while I was on Herrick.
Mum:
"Look Poppy - That's where uncle C-C is!"
Poppy:
"Nah; He's at KAF drinking brews with Gav! He called yesterday."

Poppy doing art:
"I'm bored of painting using primary colours!"

Brother of Poppy doing art:
"This glitter and glue tastes funny!" :)
 
#17
Minding the 5yr old G/daughter some time ago Mrs Tuffy asked the wee girl what she would like for her breakfast,,,
G/kid,,"What have you got"?,,
Nanna,,"Well you can have egg on toast,beans on toast,just toast,bacon on toast,tomatoes on toast,jam on toast",,,,
G/kid interupting,,,"Nanna you have got a lot of toast haven't you",,,,

Later in the day G/kid asks for some sweets,,Nanna says she has no money for sweets,,G/kid replies "That's because you spent it all on 'toast'.....


Today same G/kid playing Sims on the laptop built her house and added a swimming pool,when all the family got into the pool the g/kid built a wall all around the pool so her family could not get out,,,she then sat there laughing as all the family turned blue and then died,,,She's 6yrs old FFS.....
 
#18
On a bright sunny day, young'un got in the car and said; "It smell's of hot!" Which was clever actually because he was right....
 

B_AND_T

MIA
Book Reviewer
#19
My youngest, then 3, is watching TV Lazytown or something, with only the focus that a 3 year old can have. her brother running down the stairs missed the bottom 2 steps and went spralling across the floor.

She turned, looked and said "WANKER" and refocused on TV.

She got an ice cream for that one.
 
#20
My youngest, then 3, is watching TV Lazytown or something, with only the focus that a 3 year old can have. her brother running down the stairs missed the bottom 2 steps and went spralling across the floor.

She turned, looked and said "WANKER" and refocused on TV.

She got an ice cream for that one.
That actually made me Lol. Thank you.
 

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