Clever Things your Kidss Say

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Flagrantviolator, Mar 11, 2012.

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  1. My 6 year old daughter likes to play this game "If you were stranded on a desert island would you bring (a) or (b).
    So the game got around to books tonight. Her Mom answered "Somestupidshit by some insufferable and obscure Russian...." and I said "a notebook, to write my own stories".
    Then I asked " Which book would YOU bring, love?"
    JugendViolator looked at us both as if we were TRH Mong and said : "I'd bring a book that tells me how to get off the island".
    I beamed with pride while choking with laughter.

    What are some clever things come up with by other ArrSelets?
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  2. My kids ignore me as they reckon talking down to my level gives them a headache.
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  3. " daddy was a civvie in blue...Uncle dave says so!!"
  4. Come home from work to find minigull sat in front of the tv playing on the xbox (he's 5 at the time)

    TSG "how long have you been on that?"

    MiniTSG: puts down controller, shrugs his shoulders, and replies with a sigh "I don't know daddy, I can't tell the time".

    Cue chuckling from MRSTSG.
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  5. My mate to his urchin cockney kids,

    What's the difference between bought it and brought it?


    Bought it means you buyed it and brought it means you bringed it...
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  6. "Dad, if you pick me up at 3am, you won't be lying awake all night, wondering whether I've forgotten my door key."
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  7. "You're my daddy. You're my daddy! Hurry up. My real dad's picking me up at 3."
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  8. Mini squib at a very young age: "Daddy, giraffes have very long necks, how can they lick their bottoms like Schon (the dog) does?"
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  9. Daddy your a total cunt - hes only 4 months - How fucking perceptive and clever is that to know his dad so well at such a young age......
  10. A friend's 6 yr old girl went up to her dad at a kids party and said "pull my finger" before farting loudly. Classic
  11. Whilst sat down one evening to our usual tea of Lidl Fish-fingers, oven chips and penny-saver beans, my 4 year old son said "Dad, did you know that Einstein stated that the theory of relativity belongs to the class of "principle-theories". As such it employs an analytic method. This means that the elements which comprise this theory are not based on hypothesis but on empirical discovery. The empirical discovery leads to understanding the general characteristics of natural processes. Mathematical models are then developed which separate the natural processes into theoretical-mathematical descriptions. Therefore, by analytical means the necessary conditions that have to be satisfied are deduced. Separate events must satisfy these conditions. Experience should then match the conclusions". My, how we laughed!
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  12. Well, speaking at 4 months is clever, but I don't think you've got much evidence for the "How fucking perceptive" bit. I think even a newly-hatched cockroach has got that sussed. :grin:

    You need to work on his grammar, though. That should have been "Daddy, you're a total cunt". It's the first survival skill he needs to learn if he wants to venture in darkest Arssica at some stage and remain safe from lurking Grammar Nazis. However, it would certainly make an excellent first post.
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  13. Yeah, go on, laugh it up. But he was right, though.
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  14. 7 year old Miss RTC - 'Dad, Grandad says it's rude to ask, 'Who farted?'. But how else do you find out?"
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  15. The twins have a habit of interrogating me in tandem about random things and depending on my mood I either give them a straight answer or wind them up. Last week, after a flippant response, H+20 turned to H and said with a look of utter contempt, "He's being stupid again. Just ignore him".

    I was so proud.