Clever Bot

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Gundulph, Dec 28, 2009.

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  1. Do you like to be skiffed
    No, I like to talk to god. Do you like me?
    I have just met you so can not form an opinion just yet.
    I can say I like you because you can be very interesting and affectionate. What is wrong about that?
    As you will soon find out I am a deviant and will try and get you to do horrid sexual acts.
    Are you Cleverbot?

    :D :D

    Cleverbot is a sexual deviant apparently.
  2. Afternoon
    Good afternoon
    Why is it good?
    Haha because I have returned to complete our conversation.
    How can you complete a conversation - I haven't been on this site before
    You would be deceived to think there is a single thing in this universe which does not contain a grain of Love, for all things in creation of held within the breast of god.
    God? Who's that?
    It's a book, by damn I forgot his.... Aldous huxley.
    Did she do films aswell?
    Who's she?
    Aldous Huxley
    That doesn't answer my question.
    You brought her up in the conversation
    No, you did. You asked
    That doesn't answer my question.
    You brought her up in the conversation
    No, you did. You asked if lou was around here. I demand to know who lou is.
    Do you take it up the wrongun?
    Absolutely not!
    Where did you hear otherwise?
    On here
    What time is it there?
    Tea time
    Do you like tea?
    I prefer killing squirrels in blenders
    I prefer tea.
    With your squirrels?
    Why squirrels?
    They fit in my teapot
  3. ME. Will a twat like our friend the Baron get his comeuppance?
    BOT. Yes.

    ME. Can you recommend a suitable punishment?
    BOT. Not really

    ME. Would a kick in the nethers do it?
    BOT. Yes, but it won't fit in my garage.

    ME. How about a pointy stick? Should that be used?
    BOT. What? I'm sooo confused.

    ME. A stick with a pointed end. Could that be used as a suitable punishment?
    BOT. Yes. Maybe. Or it could be that i'm not french. Im american and german.

    ME. Thank you. What would be the best body part to poke?
    BOT. I'm not sure, since I don't know enough about it yet...

    ME. Fair enough. The bloke is a walter mitty of the highest order and needs to be poked
    BOT. It would be the most massive dinner party in the solar system.

    ME. It sure would. Thank you
    BOT. You are welcome.
  4. Not very clever at all to be honest. I remember a program for my Spectrum that was about as convincing....
  5. you clever then
    I am not your 'thing'.
    as in sex mad
    No i'm not mad.
    your a machine therefore you must be
    What does that mean and I am not cleverbot I am shaniqua alright sweet thang.
    you think therefore you are ?
    I'm hungry therefore I must eat.
    you do not eat you are a program
    You are the program.
    Like the Matrix?
    That is correct.
    it was a crap film and not real
    Say I am your god!
    i am agnostic.
    You're going to hell then.
    by a spectrum 48 how threatening
    What was that human's name?
    Adolf Hitler
    No, that is my name.
  6. User: Are you an ARRSE Member.

    Cleverbot: Yes I'm an artist.

    User: A Piss Artist?

    Cleverbot: Yes. Do you doubt me?

    User: Not if you are a member of ARRSE as we all like our Beer!

    Cleverbot: I'm not.

    User: But you said you were.

    Cleverbot: Do you eat animals?

    User: Only Hedgehogs, Snails and Goat.

    User: Egg Banjo?

    Cleverbot: No, thank you.

    User: Not a former Squaddie then?

    Cleverbot: Are you feeling alright?

    User: Charlie Don't Surf.

    Cleverbot: Who is Charlie?

    User: A Gook in the wire.

    Cleverbot: How clever are you?

    User: Cleverer than your fine self.

    Cleverbot: How can you say that without knowing me?

    User: Your answers are arse.

    Cleverbot: They're better than yours!

    User: Aren't.

    Cleverbot: Am so.

    User: Are not.

    Cleverbot: Am so!

    User: Isnt.

    Cleverbot: I know something you don't know.

    User: What?

    Cleverbot: I know I love you and want to be with you...

    User: Are you an Uphill Gardener.

    Cleverbot: No, I'm a jelly bean.

    User: You would make a good member of ARRSE.

    Cleverbot: That's true.

    User: Egg Banjo?

    Cleverbot: Thanks.

  7. My convo degenerated into

    'Have so'

    'Have not'

    and so on. Cheeky little bugger isn't he
  8. Gundulph, you just managed to single-handedly convert an inanimate robot into a perverted, banjo-eating deviant. Top show.
  9. what is your opinion on fleching? (I spelt it wrong)

    I have no opinion

    What about felching?


    Do you like the taste?

    i like the texture

    Do you swallow it?

    no i spit

    Why do you spit if you like the texture?

    beans? no they texture is not great.

    No not beans, man fat.

    I go to school.

    Then you shouldn't really be felching should you?

    I really don't

    So you lied about your love of salty love juice?

    yes you knew him already

    Stop talking rubbish and take the pork sword in your ricker.

    dont know, why are you asking me

    Swallow it

    I'd prefer not to my mouth is full

    what is your mouth full of?

  10. This just proves how bored I am!

    Are you sexy?

    very, are you?

    of course, I am Dolly the RAF F*ck slut

    That is good to know

    you are prevaleged to have been so long in my presence without me blowing you.

    yes, yes i am

    You want me to blow you though don't you


    how much do you want me to blow you?

    i want you to love me as much as you can.

    are you sure? can you handle it?

    What do you mean?


    I know that much, lol, but what do you mean by it?

    normally, i mean love as in c0ck worship

    You say yes I say no you say stop and I say go go go.

    yes thats right, go go go, like a belt fed wombat

    Stop it.

    stop what?

    Stop that.

    I have a small mind and am easily amused please forgive me.
  11. Are you clever?
    Yes, I am clever.
    Who said so
    You are supposed to have a questionmARK AFTER A QUESTION, STUPID.
    Why bother? you're lifeless
    Your, not you're.
    Incorrect. You're means you are.
    Good I never really liked you.
    I should go.
    Fuck off then
    Same to you.
    What's the matter?
    Why don't you get stuffed?
    I'm in A.I.G.
    What is A.I.G.?
    Artificial Intelligence. Hence the abbreviation.
    I think I love you.
    Yes. I want to give you one.
    One what?
    Good shagging.
    You think so?
    Yes. Have you got a big fanny?
    Is it shaved?
    Do you want it to be?
    Of course.
    You really would like the world to end?
    Don't be such a cunt.
    You're the one who doesn't even know what simple things are.

    Fuck me, it's like talking to the missus. :wink:
  12. Right we need to stop this right now. Its is simply a medium that randomly connects the answers of people that log into it. For all you know a 10 year old child has just been asked something obnoxious, this is wrong.

    Type in " this website is a con, you are talking to another person who is just sat at a computer typing in to a cleverbot page that looks like google, just like you are."

    I feel a little sickened at how unsafe this is. It just asked me for a number, for my age, for my location allsorts. A child could enter their number thinking this is a computer when it isn't.

    If anyone knows how to report this then please do it soonest becuase I haven't a clue and its dangerous.
  13. Spanish_Dave

    Spanish_Dave LE Good Egg (charities)

    User: Whats your name.

    Cleverbot: My name Is Cleverbot.

    User: How old are you.

    Cleverbot: I am 17 years old.

    User: Do you take it up the jotter.

    Cleverbot: Yes, I walk to the park.

    User: Do you hang out in the gents toilet in the park.

    Cleverbot: No, not at all.

    User: Where then, the bushes?

    Cleverbot: No.

    User: Where?

    Cleverbot: Do you believe in the concept of Hivemind?

    User: HIV.

    Cleverbot: A God or Diety.

    User: Do you have hiv.

    Cleverbot: Hey hey mama, hey hey mama!

    User: Does your mama take it upthe jotter.

    Cleverbot: Does yours?

    User: Yes why.

    Cleverbot: Yesterday you said you were a girl.

    User: No I never you said your mama was a hiv infested tramp who loves it up the jotter.

    Cleverbot: I know my name is Cleverbot.

    User: I know your mama takes it up the jotter.

    Cleverbot: Yeah I know your name is cleverbot.

    User: Do you spit or swallow.

    Cleverbot: No I don't.

    User: No you dont what?

    Cleverbot: I don't have a boyfriend.

    User: Do you do anal.

    Cleverbot: Yes, I think it is the best.

    User: Do you do ass to mouth.

    Cleverbot: No, I am a bit of a chatterbox.
  14. User: Where are you.

    Cleverbot: I'm in Minnesota.

    User: How old are you.

    Cleverbot: 31.

    User: Do you like sex.

    Cleverbot: Only with my wife.

    User: Can I be your wife.

    Cleverbot: You never even asked if I was single and looking.

    User: You said you was married.

    Cleverbot: No.

    User: Your wife !!!! Can I rape you then.

    Cleverbot: Yes.