Claude the Hypnotist

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by beufighter, Sep 13, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. It was entertainment night at the Residential Home.

    Claude the hypnotist exclaimed: "I'm here to put you all into a
    trance.
    I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."

    The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful
    antique pocket watch from his coat. The polished metal gleamed
    in the light.

    Claude the hypnotist said: "I want you each to keep your eyes
    on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my
    family for six generations."

    He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly
    chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch . . .”

    The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth,
    light shimmering off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, shattering into a hundred pieces.

    "SHIT!" yelled Claude the Hypnotist.

    It took 3 days to clean up the Hall.
    :wink: