Classic Army Toilet Graffiti

on one wall, look left for tiolet tennis

on other wall, look right for toilet tennis
Carefully and neatly written on ceiling in porcelines at Saltau wash down area

If you reading this I bet your Pis@ing on your feet


Whilst serving in Belize in 90-91 the resident infantry battalion (The Gloucesters) came in for some major grief on the walls of trap four in the Holdfast Camp sh*itters.
Two that spring to mind were -

Why can't the Glosters eat pickled onions?
They can't get their heads in the jar.

Why don't the Glosters get Naafi breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them.

But the best one in there on a non-gloster baiting track was the following poem.

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe
She had so many children she could pull her p*ssflaps over her head.
2 of my favourites:

Here I sit broken hearted....
payed a penny.....
and foockin' shat me pants


Don't sit too close to the toilet seat..
The crabs in here can jump 10 feet..
And if you think that that's quite high..
Go next door, the b*stards fly!
Above a pissoir in Aldershot:

Right now you are the only man in the British Army who knows exactly what he is doing.

Somewhere in Saudi (GW1):

The British Army: trained in Europe, dressed for the jungle, fighting in the desert.

This world sucks...........more Nukes now.

Paras are not that hard me and my 13 mates beat one up last night.

Join the candanian army see canada.

Seen in wainwright 83.

Afghanistan, Feb 02:

The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budjet overstretch!

'My mother made me a homosexual'

Written underneath, in a different hand

'If I give her the wool, will she make me one too'
On a bog door in NI
“Fu*k the Pope”

Why bother writing that it’s not as if he is ever going to read it
From Sennybridge facilities....

Some come here to sit and think
Others come to sh1t and stink


Those who write on sh1thouse walls
Roll their sh1t into tiny balls
Those who read these rhymes of wit
Eat those tiny balls of sh1t


seen in the naffi in ballykinlar

"what's yellow and black and fcuks paras?"

"The rules of engagement"
In Afghan DTL circa 02 - 'In WW2 when the Germans fired the British ducked, when the British fired, the Germans ducked, when the Americans fired every fcuker ducked'
Written on the wall in the thunderbox ...somewhere on Salisbury plain..

"Whilst reading this, you are not concentrating on the matter in hand"

Written below....

"Not particularly a matter I want to have in hand"
for a good time call xxxxxxxxxxx

written below

not a good idea i tryed it and it was the rsms number
(on wall) Look Up
(higher on wall) Look Up
(even higher on the wall) Keep Looking Up
(on the ceiling) Quick! Look down! You're pissing on your shoes!

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