Clarkson Censored - Again?

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by OldAdam, Nov 19, 2009.

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  1. Don't know if this has been posted before; if it has, then it's worth a second airing. Got it via email from a friend - so, for copyright purposes, as far as I know, he might have made it up, but I'm sure JC won't mind and shame on the Sunday Telegraph for pulling it anyway! :D

    Email text as follows:-

    Looking forward to reading Jeremy Clarkson's column in the Sunday Times? You won't get a chance to now because they pulled it after the lefties sniffled.

    Moderately insulting to a broad range of countries it is true, but what was
    anyone expecting in an article by Clarkson?

    Anyway to prove a point a web site called "The Bear" reproduced the article
    in full, here it is, pass it on:

    "Get me a rope before Mandelson wipes us all out"

    Jeremy Clarkson writes:-

    "I've given the matter a great deal of thought all week, and I'm afraid I've
    decided that it's no good putting Peter Mandelson in a prison. I'm afraid he
    will have to be tied to the front of a van and driven round the country
    until he isn't alive any more.

    He announced last week that middle-class children will simply not be allowed into the country's top universities even if they have 4,000 A-levels,
    because all the places will be taken by Albanians and guillemots and
    whatever other stupid bandwagon the conniving idiot has leapt upon.

    I hate Peter Mandelson. I hate his fondness for extremely pale blue jeans
    and I hate that preposterous moustache he used to sport in the days when he didn't bother trying to cover up his left-wing fanaticism. I hate the way he quite literally lords it over us even though he's resigned in disgrace twice, and now holds an important decision-making job for which he was not elected. Mostly, though, I hate him because his one-man war on the bright and the witty and the successful means that half my friends now seem to be taking leave of their senses.

    There's talk of emigration in the air. It's everywhere I go. Parties. Work.
    In the supermarket. My daughter is working herself half to death to get good grades at GSCE and can't see the point because she won't be going to university, because she doesn't have a beak or flippers or a qualification
    in washing windscreens at the lights. She wonders, often, why we don't live
    in America.

    Then you have the chaps and chapesses who can't stand the constant raids on their wallets and their privacy. They can't understand why they are taxed at 50% on their income and then taxed again for driving into the nation's capital. They can't understand what happened to the hunt for the weapons of mass destruction. They can't understand anything. They see the Highway Wombles in those brand new 4x4s that they paid for, and they see the M4 bus lane and they see the speed cameras and the community support officers and they see the Albanians stealing their wheelbarrows and nothing can be done because it's racist.

    And they see Alistair Darling handing over £4,350 of their money to not sort out the banking crisis that he doesn't understand because he's a small-town solicitor, and they see the stupid war on drugs and the war on drink and the war on smoking and the war on hunting and the war on fun and the war on scientists and the obsession with the climate and the price of train fares soaring past £1,000 and the Guardian power-brokers getting uppity about one shot baboon and not uppity at all about all the dead soldiers in Afghanistan, and how they got rid of Blair only to find the lying twerp is now going to come back even more powerful than ever, and they think, "I've had enough of this. I'm off."

    It's a lovely idea, to get out of this stupid, Fairtrade, Brown-stained,
    Mandelson-skewed, equal-opportunities, multicultural, carbon-neutral,
    trendily left, regionally assembled, big-government, trilingual,
    mosque-drenched, all-the-pigs-are-equal, property-is-theft hellhole and set
    up shop somewhere else. But where?

    You can't go to France because you need to complete 17 forms in triplicate
    every time you want to build a greenhouse, and you can't go to Switzerland because you will be reported to your neighbours by the police and subsequently shot in the head if you don't sweep your lawn properly, and you can't go to Italy because you'll soon tire of waking up in the morning to find a horse's head in your bed because you forgot to give a man called Don a bundle of used notes for "organising" a plumber.

    You can't go to Australia because it's full of things that will eat you, you
    can't go to New Zealand because they don't accept anyone who is more than 40 and you can't go to Monte Carlo because they don't accept anyone who has less than 40 mill. And you can't go to Spain because you're not called Del and you weren't involved in the Walthamstow blag. And you can't go to Germany ... because you just can't.

    The Caribbean sounds tempting, but there is no work, which means that one day, whether you like it or not, you'll end up like all the other expats,
    with a nose like a burst beetroot, wondering if it's okay to have a small
    sharpener at 10 in the morning. And, as I keep explaining to my daughter, we can't go to America because if you catch a cold over there, the health system is designed in such a way that you end up without a house. Or dead.

    Canada's full of people pretending to be French, South Africa's too risky,
    Russia's worse and everywhere else is too full of snow, too full of flies or
    too full of people who want to cut your head off on the internet. So you can
    dream all you like about upping sticks and moving to a country that doesn't help itself to half of everything you earn and then spend the money it gets on bus lanes and advertisements about the dangers of salt. But wherever you go you'll wind up an alcoholic or dead or bored or in a cellar, in an orange jumpsuit, gently wetting yourself on the web. All of these things are worse than being persecuted for eating a sandwich at the wheel.

    I see no reason to be miserable. Yes, Britain now is worse than it's been
    for decades, but the lunatics who've made it so ghastly are on their way
    out.. Soon, they will be back in Hackney with their South African
    nuclear-free peace polenta. And instead the show will be run by a bloke
    whose dad has a wallpaper shop and possibly, terrifyingly, a twerp in
    Belgium whose fruitless game of hunt-the-WMD has netted him £15m on the lecture circuit.

    So actually I do see a reason to be miserable. Which is why I think it's a
    good idea to tie Peter Mandelson to a van. Such an act would be cruel and
    barbaric and inhumane. But it would at least cheer everyone up a bit in the

    Perfectly phrased Mr Clarkson!
  2. Well the truth obviously hurt's then :lol:
  3. The saddest thing of all, is the fact that JC actually has the b0llocks to say it loike the majority of normal people think, and also, the way we all see it.

    Shame on him for not running for PM, with maybe a Top Gear party, of the people, just imagine a country run by people who think of the realities of life, and the actual people who live here? wouldnt that be a thing?

    I for one, am fed up to the hind teeth with all the laborite left wing veggie tree hugging multiculturalistic wnackers who have the power, despite not being the ones voted in by the populus.

    God speed the civil war that we actually need to sort this once great country that is now a shitehole out.
  4. Clarkson censored? Chance would be a fine thing. Getting the fat cunt to ever shut up is the trick.

    Like so many of his ilk, he's yet to twig the difference between a loudly-expressed opinion and an intelligent one. "Identity theft a myth", forsooth!
  5. On that one at least Clarkson admitted he was wrong when he was shown to be wrong.

    That puts him well ahead of most politicos straight away.

    All the best,

  6. Didn't he describe America as "250 million ******* in a country with no word for wanker."

    If he did then he's a very naughty boy. :D
  7. He could hardly have done otherwise, given that the egg was spread all over the newspapers as well as his face. Even politicians tend to own up under those conditions.

    Luxembourg - nil points.
  8. The trouble is,is that we all secretly think hes right. But being British we just put up with it.

    Censorship and the dumbing down of a population have in days of old been the mainstay of socialist government.We often joke on this site about chav mongs, but think on this, if the people do not understand whats being done, then they are less likely to protest.

    I watched a banker on the news yesterday who had the nerve to say "The city is concerned about government spending " Any normal person would have been all over that remark seeing as we propped up the city to the tune of x billion pounds and counting, but oh no, not the liebour educated muppet of a presenter who just smiled glibly and moved on, to stupid no doubt to realise what had just happened.Cue banker smiling no doubt thinking "they've forgotten already"roll on bonus time.
  9. I don’t. I think he’s an utter prick. Being British, I say so.

    I think you’ll find that most public education systems around the world are the result of left-of-centre politics prevailing, including the one that taught you to read and write. Keeping the masses stupid and ignorant is historically a feature of right-of centre politics. It’s cheaper and keeps the tax bills down.

    But the City is concerned about government spending: they’re concerned that government spends to guarantee their profits. The fact that the banker wasn’t challenged is a factor of British politics offering nothing but traditionally-tory monetarist policies – “the financial system must be preserved at all costs”. I doubt very much the Conservatives would have behaved any differently if faced with a widespread risk of banking failure as opposed to just individual instances as in BCCI.

    And how old was the interviewer if they were ‘Labour-educated’? To even have been at school in 1997 they’d need to be under 30.
  10. Or they could be over about 48 and be Old-Labour-Educated.

    I think he meant "Labour-indoctrinated" though.
    Or "BBC Reporter" - same thing.

    But yes, Clarkson can come across as a prick, pandering to an increasing sense of right-wing feeling in this country, some of which is justified, some of which is just an unfortunate result of the Left resolutely pushing an agenda that was always out of kilter with the reasonably well-educated and naturally conservative (with a small c) bulk of the British population, despite increasing evidence of the futility, unworkability and unpopularity of those policies.
  11. JC isn't the most charismatic bloke on TV but he does strike a chord with the common man (and woman) in his Tell-it-like-it-is approach.
    He reminds me of the BNP, who although distasteful, they dare to say what a fair amount of the population feel and possibly(?) believe but won't state outloud.

    I do think JC would be better if he would only let his talent shine through his ego.

    PS. Had to laugh on Sunday, when he was introducing the Stig
    " ..And if the stig wrote a letter of condolence he would make sure the names were spelt right"
    or something to the effect of. :D
  12. You what? So the right-of-centre-supported grammar schools and independent education (which got and get better results than comprehensives) are about dumbing down whereas comprehensives are all about excellence in education?

    Meanwhile, back on planet Earth...
  13. It was liberal or socialist governments that introduced the idea of state eductation in almost every case. In Britain, the Whigs opposed it feverishly right to the very end.

    'Historically' means more than just 'in living memory'. I thought it was anatomically impossible for a right-wing to twitch a knee.