Clap test bleeding

Discussion in 'Health and Fitness' started by Un-Friendly-Fire, Jun 27, 2006.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. just come back from bog, after a clap test (with the lovely umbrella down the japs-eye) earlier today. Ever so slightly worried that i had a little trickle of blood coming out of my japs eye with my pish. Is this entirely normal after a clap test?

    EDIT: Oh and going for a run fackin killed, but thats probably expected
  2. It hurt to p*ss when I had one done, but didn't bleed. Sure it wasn't ya imagination? Can see how that friggin brolly thing could do some damage though.
  3. Might have caused a small cut/tear inside the shaft, its only usually used to one-way traffic after all. If its still bleeding tomorrow, give the doc a bell.
  4. Thankfully first of all it stopped bleeding, second im negative, but that still scared the shite out of me. And having a little mini period gave me a small insight into women and the problems they face in society and how they deserve to be treated better because of the *cracks up laughing*

    Should have posted this in the NAAFI really but anyway cheers people
  5. hi guys,
    you gone and got me all worried now! When do you need one of these tests? Is it just for STD'S etc?
  6. Un-Friendly-Fire wrote
    Enough to stop sleeping with slappers?
  7. God, has nobody told you? Did you not pay attention in sex education at school? You need to book your self in for one of those tests at least every two months. Think of it as the male version of the 'smear-test'.

    My only advice is to tell you to phone up the local VD clinic and ask to be booked in. Tell them you want a check up, just to make sure. Don't worry about it being a VD clinic, thats the only place where they do these checks, but it is very important that you have one done.

  8. how can you not know that you need one every 2 months i missed mine last months and the dr phoned me up the next day to book me one a week later.
  9. Yep, just proves taking the easy route doesn't pay im thinking :roll: still put me off it for about a day or so...

    EDIT: Although it is might fun i must say :p
  10. The current guidelines that we issue are that any sexually active individual should visit a GUM clinic ever 6 months at the very least, regardless of whether you're sleeping around or only knobbing one bloke/bird as you cannot guarantee that they're doing the same.
  11. Can you imagen yoming home and saying to the mrs. "hony i have the clap and i know i have not been doing my secritery."

    the best way to start a domestic. id pay money to whatch that fight unfoled
  12. You callin my bird a slapper??? :D
  13. Who said she was your bird? She's mine!!!
  14. Not with the rates she charges. Luckily she now takes Mastercard, but I'll leave you to guess where you stick the chip...
  15. The 'umbrella' was discontinued some years ago, so why did you have that done?. The only thing that is used, is to put it simplistically is a large Q-Tip which is used to obtain a sample. The reason the umbrella was got rid of was due to bleeding after a sample. Who used it and why?