Solo Dave
LE
Ladies & Gents
I've had a couple of humorous 'clangers' dropped by our colonial or non-native English speaking friends, and wondered if anyone else had the same.
Nigh-on 20 years ago, I was at dinner at a US exchange officer's house. As you do, vino & beer started flowing, and within no time at all our colonial cousins were feeling the effects of much Caffrey's, IPA etc. There must've been 12 or 14 people sat around the table, wives & girlfriends included, conversation is flowing when Grizz (we called him that, short for "Grizzly", as his surname was Behr), in his deep Texas drawl, says "Hey Chas, I heard an English phrase to day, that you might be able to explain for me?". "Of course", says I, "what is it Grizz?".
"Weeeell", drones Grizz, "I was in the Mess the other day and a few of the lads were discussing Catherine" (the rather attractive newly posted in Dentist). "One of them happened to mention that she had a minge like a wounded badger. What exactly is a minge?". 13 sets of eyes looking in my direction, and the table falls silent, red faces all round, as Chas explains in his best attempt at diplomacy, that a lady's minge is a rather intimate part of her anatomy that Americans would probably call "beaver". I didn't get invited back.
An oppo of mine was on a NATO Course (Oberammergau I think but I'm not sure), taught by DS of multiple nationalities. Last lecture of the day is delivered by two French AF girlies, one of whom was somewhat attractive and the other looked like Geoff Capes in a skirt (oppo's words, not mine). Anyways, as part of the intro, the fitter of the two mademoiselles stands up and says words to the effect of "Gentlemen, we know you have had a long day and it is nearly over. But, for the next hour, we would like you to f**k us!!"
According to my oppo, he looked around, somewhat amazed, and the classroom had gone from a number of disinterested blokes looking out the window to Meerkat Manor in a matter of seconds. Right up until they realised, with suitable explanation from the Geoff Capes lookalikey, that madamoiselle meant that they were to sharpen up, concentrate. You know, FOCUS.
Any other linguistic-related clangers that you'd care to share with the masses?
I've had a couple of humorous 'clangers' dropped by our colonial or non-native English speaking friends, and wondered if anyone else had the same.
Nigh-on 20 years ago, I was at dinner at a US exchange officer's house. As you do, vino & beer started flowing, and within no time at all our colonial cousins were feeling the effects of much Caffrey's, IPA etc. There must've been 12 or 14 people sat around the table, wives & girlfriends included, conversation is flowing when Grizz (we called him that, short for "Grizzly", as his surname was Behr), in his deep Texas drawl, says "Hey Chas, I heard an English phrase to day, that you might be able to explain for me?". "Of course", says I, "what is it Grizz?".
"Weeeell", drones Grizz, "I was in the Mess the other day and a few of the lads were discussing Catherine" (the rather attractive newly posted in Dentist). "One of them happened to mention that she had a minge like a wounded badger. What exactly is a minge?". 13 sets of eyes looking in my direction, and the table falls silent, red faces all round, as Chas explains in his best attempt at diplomacy, that a lady's minge is a rather intimate part of her anatomy that Americans would probably call "beaver". I didn't get invited back.
An oppo of mine was on a NATO Course (Oberammergau I think but I'm not sure), taught by DS of multiple nationalities. Last lecture of the day is delivered by two French AF girlies, one of whom was somewhat attractive and the other looked like Geoff Capes in a skirt (oppo's words, not mine). Anyways, as part of the intro, the fitter of the two mademoiselles stands up and says words to the effect of "Gentlemen, we know you have had a long day and it is nearly over. But, for the next hour, we would like you to f**k us!!"
According to my oppo, he looked around, somewhat amazed, and the classroom had gone from a number of disinterested blokes looking out the window to Meerkat Manor in a matter of seconds. Right up until they realised, with suitable explanation from the Geoff Capes lookalikey, that madamoiselle meant that they were to sharpen up, concentrate. You know, FOCUS.
Any other linguistic-related clangers that you'd care to share with the masses?