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Clamping cowboys.

#1
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/4/20090821/tuk-private-clampers-out-of-control-dba1618.html

I doubt if anyone would disagree with clamping down (sorry :) ) on these feckers, let's face it, as a profession its best known for Levi Bellfield and his hammer antics. Has anyone out there got any heart-warming stories of playing these cnuts at their own game. Even better, anyone hammered one of them? (again, pardon the pun!)

And on a sick note. What's got one ball and fcuks women. Levi Bellfield's hammer.

Taxi.....!
 
#4
"Private parking enforcement is big business, generating millions of pounds and no-one notices and acts when the rules are broken. The public have absolutely no protection if a private parking firm acts unfairly."


Well maybe…

I remember seeing some clamping twat on the telly a few years back having a wah about the reaction he got from the owner when he tried to clamp a beemer.

Of course, if he wasn't such a knuckle dragging cretinous mong he might have given some thought to who might be driving a seriously blinged up new Beemer in a rough part of south London and used a bit of common dog.

Mong was upset that as he was getting his clamp in place, some black guys walked up, one put a gun to his head and asked him if his job was worth dying for. Oddly enough, he decided not to clamp that one. :twisted:
 
#6
We had them operating on Council land, they kept telling the public that we had given them permission, in the end we took out an advert in the paper, sat on site and tore down their signs, let them clamp Council vehicles parked on Council land and had them threatened with arrested when they tried to tow them, it took 6 months but in the end they got the message.
Then we got a call from Somerset CID to give statements as the bosses had been arrested for benefit fraud around £250K. Our CCTV evidence put pay to their claims of being too sick to work.

Haven't heard any more but I hope that they got the book thrown at them.
:evil:
 
#7
Mr_Deputy said:
I once clamped Old 'Dead Eye' McGrinty's horse to the drinking trough outside the Sweet Dixie bar in Tombstone. Boy was he ever mad. He he heeeeeeeeeeee yes sir yes sireee. Mad as a bandecoot with molasses all over his tail.
For the first time in a while I have guffawed like a downs child, I like that very much thankyou. :D
 
#8
Ah! Reni has surfaced! Any tales of lubricating them in basting fat and inserting blunt instruments into dark and flabby orifices? :) This thread needs, nay DEMANDS some deviency and none better qualified than you SAH!
 
#10
Mr_Deputy said:
I once clamped Old 'Dead Eye' McGrinty's horse to the drinking trough outside the Sweet Dixie bar in Tombstone. Boy was he ever mad. He he heeeeeeeeeeee yes sir yes sireee. Mad as a bandecoot with molasses all over his tail.
Did he deflate the horse's hooves to get out of the clamp?
 
#14
It annoys me quite badly that the Scottish courts banned clamping way back in 1992 but the English & Welsh ones are a "regulated" business approved by the government. The Scottish courts said they constitute extortion and theft but in England they're a legitimate business occupation.
 
#16
Saw this happen on an industrial estate in Coventry. Woman in
tears trying to reason with a clamper.

I was waiting for some contractors to turn up. When they arrived the woman was still arguing with the clamper, so the contractors foreman went over to see what was happening. Seems she had been told she could park there by someone at the firm, but the clamper was having none of it because she wasn't displaying a permit.

The foreman called his gang over ,and told the clamper to do one, the lads picked the car up and dropped the clamp off (they didn't have chains in them days) The woman drove off, and the clamp got weighed in as scrap.
 
#17
Mr_Deputy said:
I once clamped Old 'Dead Eye' McGrinty's horse to the drinking trough outside the Sweet Dixie bar in Tombstone. Boy was he ever mad. He he heeeeeeeeeeee yes sir yes sireee. Mad as a bandecoot with molasses all over his tail.
Thet you Paw?
 
#18
I remember visiting a mucker in Chester in about 1996 and he'd also been recently clamped on a DIY-market car-park for (allegedly) overstaying his time (I think it was B&Q, but I could be mistaken). He weighed up the cost of paying the fine (120 quid at the time) and the cost of a set of bolt-croppers from the DIY store (30 quid). He chose the latter, let the snotty, arrogant clamper drive off to order the tow-truck and removed the lock from the clamp with his newly purchased bolt-croppers. He never heard anything more from the clamping firm and he kept the clamp he'd removed for his own scam, which he uses to this day.

Whenever he's in a "clamping zone", he just hooks up the clamp on a wheel of his car with a new padlock (to which he has the key) and toddles off to do his shopping or whatever. Good on ya, Mickey!

I really don't understand what's wrong with the UK gobment. This is quite obviously a blatant scam, so why don't they do the same as Scotland and outlaw it? Maybe it'd be worthwhile getting information on which UK MPs have interests in, or own, clamping companies.

MsG
 
#19
'I really don't understand what's wrong with the UK gobment. This is quite obviously a blatant scam, so why don't they do the same as Scotland and outlaw it?'

No more a blatant scam than fining you for putting your rubbish out on the wrong day or the council charging you for parking in a company parking space. They're all at it, all they want is your money.
 
#20
terroratthepicnic said:
Don't clampers need to hold an SIA licence now?
If they do, ask to see it, if they cannot produce one, call the police.
Yup. It should be on display while carrying out a licensable activity. No shock really that the SIA is one giant fuck up, out to make cash out of the security industry.

Bunch of wankers.
 

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