Clamping cowboys.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by chinooksdad, Aug 21, 2009.

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    I doubt if anyone would disagree with clamping down (sorry :) ) on these feckers, let's face it, as a profession its best known for Levi Bellfield and his hammer antics. Has anyone out there got any heart-warming stories of playing these cnuts at their own game. Even better, anyone hammered one of them? (again, pardon the pun!)

    And on a sick note. What's got one ball and fcuks women. Levi Bellfield's hammer.

  2. Do the cowboys mind being clamped?
  3. I've heard 'stories' about people clamping them as they put the boot on their own car. Urban myth or reality. Discuss.
  4. "Private parking enforcement is big business, generating millions of pounds and no-one notices and acts when the rules are broken. The public have absolutely no protection if a private parking firm acts unfairly."

    Well maybe…

    I remember seeing some clamping twat on the telly a few years back having a wah about the reaction he got from the owner when he tried to clamp a beemer.

    Of course, if he wasn't such a knuckle dragging cretinous mong he might have given some thought to who might be driving a seriously blinged up new Beemer in a rough part of south London and used a bit of common dog.

    Mong was upset that as he was getting his clamp in place, some black guys walked up, one put a gun to his head and asked him if his job was worth dying for. Oddly enough, he decided not to clamp that one. :twisted:
  5. Clamping cowboys sounds like something out of a Brokeback Mountain sequel.
  6. We had them operating on Council land, they kept telling the public that we had given them permission, in the end we took out an advert in the paper, sat on site and tore down their signs, let them clamp Council vehicles parked on Council land and had them threatened with arrested when they tried to tow them, it took 6 months but in the end they got the message.
    Then we got a call from Somerset CID to give statements as the bosses had been arrested for benefit fraud around £250K. Our CCTV evidence put pay to their claims of being too sick to work.

    Haven't heard any more but I hope that they got the book thrown at them.
  7. For the first time in a while I have guffawed like a downs child, I like that very much thankyou. :D
  8. Ah! Reni has surfaced! Any tales of lubricating them in basting fat and inserting blunt instruments into dark and flabby orifices? :) This thread needs, nay DEMANDS some deviency and none better qualified than you SAH!
  9. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    I miss read the title, I thought this was a Brokeback Mountain type thing.
  10. Did he deflate the horse's hooves to get out of the clamp?
  11. Ahem!
  12. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Time delay!
  13. It annoys me quite badly that the Scottish courts banned clamping way back in 1992 but the English & Welsh ones are a "regulated" business approved by the government. The Scottish courts said they constitute extortion and theft but in England they're a legitimate business occupation.
  14. terroratthepicnic

    terroratthepicnic LE Reviewer Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Runners

    Don't clampers need to hold an SIA licence now?
    If they do, ask to see it, if they cannot produce one, call the police.