Claim to Fame?

TURP managed SKY news E-mail, I've done Channel 4 and been published in the Telegraph Letters (Twice), anyone else have claims to fame......................excluding MDN's foreword to that well known read "How to F**K a Donkey" and Gunny's unforgettable "Rimmin' an Arab for 80 Day's"

 

I can't read. Haven't published anything and I don't own a telly. But I have shagged Jordan (or Katy as I call her). Does that count?

 

Thats a fair one................did you wash after

 

I refuelled Gary Numans plane at Middle Wallop in 1988. He signed the fuel receipt, 'Gary Webb' (his real name).

Michael Portaloo took an interest in me in Belfast in 1997 and spoke to me for ages !! I made him a nice cup of tea too !! Nice bloke. I'd vote for him anyday.

 

Super radio jock Ed "Stewpot" Stewart once told me to 'Get off my fcuking pitch" during a celebrity footy match.

Does any one want my autograph ?

 

I'd rather take you out to a candle light dinner, with perhaps, a moon lit walk afterwards.

 

The little annoying cnut for the Krankies once pinned me down and forced a mint imperial up each nostril.

Also, I'm not the kind to kiss and tell but I've been seen with Farah, its true I hire my body out for pay. I've been on fire with Sally Field, Blown up with Raquel Welch.

I aslo got a nosh off Flashes mum while David Hasslehof was plating her, do I win a prize

 

Yes indeed you do hire your body out as can be seen in the Macdonald's Marathon clip. Must admit you look a bit younger than I thought. Must be all those burgers

 

MDN

Excellent but subtle use of the lyrics to The Unknown Stuntman, sang by Lee Majors AKA The Fall Guy.

I asked Stuart Pearson for his autograph in 1977 at Uniteds training ground and was told to Foxtrot Oscar.

 

LOL !! I too asked for an autograph off some long haired hippy outside Maine Road around 1975, and was told the same !! My Da was none too pleased at the use of the F word !!

 

Maninblack worked as sound engineer for Desmond Decker, The Happy Mondays and various other bands.

 

He was well out of order. It took two buses to get to the Cliff from where I lived. Fortunately, I was well used to hearing the phrase by the time I was 8, so it didn't phase me too much.

I saw "Pancho" Pearson at a United do a couple of years ago. Time has not been kind to the popular 70's striker. He looked like Eddie Large, but with less hair. I was at the bar behind him. When the barmaid came up to serve him, I shouted my order and got served first. He gave me a dirty look but I just winked at him. Sad little man that I am, as I was walking away from the bar, I thought, "That taught you, you fat ba**ard."

 

Following the Maninblack theme....

Did stage security for Nirvana, Living Color, The Beautiful South to name a few.
Oh - met the Queen, too. She was good enough to review my grad parade - top girl!

 

I once mineswept a pint belonging to Terry Hall - lead singer of the Specials and Fun Boy Three, in the Hope and Anchor, Coventry. Daft tw*t spent 10 minutes looking for it then went home.

 

Oh and once got mistaken for Sammy Lee, former Liverpool star, when in a swimming pool in Warrington. My body was under water at the time, which helped.