Civvy in Mess - advice please

#1
I am supposed to be attending Summer Ball this W/E, but find I probably cannot get suitable DJ, etc. in time. Should I
a) offer apologies now (upsetting wife, etc)
b) keep on trying to get DJ and risk not having it on the night (causing potential of empty seats at Ball)
c) something else
Any suggestions wwelcome - sorry, no prize for the best
 
#2
Cannot get a dinner jacket in 4 days? What's your excuse?
 
#3
what do you mean "probably cannot get" - what have you tried?

you can surely rent one, or even buy a cheapo one from burtons or somewhere. i picked one up for one-time use for £58 last year in burtons - perfectly adequate.

so stop being a cheapskate and sort your admin out :)
 
#5
M&S have very suitable dinner suits, racks of the feckers, for a not bad price. Civvy attitude to a very manageable problem!
 

mysteron

LE
Book Reviewer
#10
IMHO,

"Attention, Attention! This is a wah alert, move into hard cover and don protective equipment, this is not a test. I say again, Attention, Attention! This is a wah alert, move into hard cover and don protective equipment, this is not a test. End of Broadcast."

Out.
 

Bowmore_Assassin

LE
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#12
Mysteron, I have donned CBA and helmet and I am in the wah bunker. However, peering cautiously out, if this is not a wah, my advice to bigpod is:

Do you any mates who are not going but can lend you their DJ ? Or perhaps getting in a car, driving to a big, fcuk-off city and a decent shopping area might be a solution...or buy one online and get it shipped out by DHL or similar on a 24 hours delivery.

In short, bigpod, this really is very simply solved, so I suggest you unfcuk yourself, get off your arrse and sort your admin out.
 
#14
bigpod said:
:oops: Can't get one to fit me :oops:
and there's no M and S near Gutersloh
So you're a fat knacker? There's no shortage of them Sausage-side. I'm still sure you can find something suitable schnell. Just make sure they don't dupe you into buying the ceremonial spiked helmet. Come to think of it, Goering was a bit of a clothes horse and he had an office in Gutersloh. Ask around camp and see if any of his old mess dress hand-me-downs are still knocking around.

If all else fails, get in the car and head down to Modena in Italy where Pavarotti is buried. Don't forget a shovel and a wrecking bar just in case his missus has already flogged his old gear.
 
#15
Try doing this then, just a little paint and a few hours work and the jobs done.
 
#16
bigpod said:
:oops: Can't get one to fit me :oops:
and there's no M and S near Gutersloh
Which part of online do you have a problem with? Wrap yourself in a blanket, put a flowerpot on your head and claim it is ethnic dress regalia...
 
#17
Have you thought of hiring someone who owns a DJ to pretend to be you? Might be cheaper in the long run and your missus still gets to go...just thinking laterally!
 
#18

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#19
Go in the national dress of a foreign country, perfectly acceptable.

If you are slightly larger in stature may I suggest the traditional dress of Oman, I can lend you a bed sheet and tea towell if required.
 

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#20
Ravers said:
Go in the national dress of a foreign country, perfectly acceptable.

If you are slightly larger in stature may I suggest the traditional dress of Oman, I can lend you a bed sheet and tea towell if required.
Copy-cat!!
 

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