Cinema Experiences - Arrse Style

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by 58_Pattern, Jan 27, 2008.

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  1. I am on sick leave for 3-6 Months working from home with a Laptop/Blackerry/Cellphone/Landlne until I get surgery on my knee. Am in pain and grumpy. Decided to take the family to see 'Alvin & the Chipmunks' today as I have been a grumpy dad. Took les enfants (6 & 10) and got a nosebag for them.

    Not being a fab of rodents singing in shell suits my mind wondered into my experiences in cinemas. I thought I would share:-

    197* ? My father on a det overseas. So my Grandfather took me to see Star Wars. He was ex WWII Navy and spend the whole film chain smoking Players Navy Cut. His fumes and smoke blurred most of the film.

    1983 As a a Cadet Sgt we did the Armistice Day Parade and afterwards went to the RBL for coffee and I persuaded a Cadet (F) to go to a cinema for heavy petting (and in uniform)

    1991 In Hong Kong repeated my errors of 1983 with a trolley dolly.

    1993 Used to take girls to Banbridge/Portadown/Bangor enjoy a film and hear the national anthem played at the end of the show.

    So guys share your worst secrets,,,,,,,,,,,
  2. 1986, Scunthorpe: Got noshed off watching Absolute Beginners... I was 16 and my bird was not too happy that she ended up with some extra hair gel to keep her perm nice and curly... :twisted:
  3. Spanish_Dave

    Spanish_Dave LE Good Egg (charities)

    Circa 1980 when the pubs used to shut at 2PM got a carry out as normal, went to the flicks, saw the first 15 minutes of Monty Python and the Holy Grail and woke for the last 15 minutes of Blazing Saddles :lol:
  4. 197... Some chaps I knew took a tin of vegetable soup to the cinema when the exorcist was on. Went onto balcony and at appropriate moment tipped it in to the stalls below while making sick noises.

    I remember the national anthem being played in NI. Newtonards Flying Club used to have a live band on a Sunday night and they always played the National Anthem at the end of the night. Whats more everyone stood up, stood still and kept quiet.
  5. As a kid in the 60's, Dad used to take me to the cinema. As the film ended and the credits started rolling, there'd be a mad rush by everyone to leave.

    I asked Dad why this was happening. Before he could reply, the National Anthem would begin playing and there were just the two of us, standing up.
  6. Scunthorpe, 2006. Got my first blowjob and handjob in a cinema (not first BJ and HJ, just first in a cinema). She swallowed as well. One was most impressed.
  7. I'm barred from my local cinema due to somebody talking through the first 20 minutes of Die Hard 4. Then instead of stopping when challenged he threw his drink at the man, who moved.

    I got familiar with his pepsi before he got familiar with the exits conveniently located at the front of the cinema to allow easier access to the parking area, Thankyou!
  8. Ahhh, Scunny Bunnies, love them one and all :wink:
  9. 1986, me and my brother home on leave decide to take both our girls to the flicks, cant remember the film, however some chav scum (80's stylee) thought it would be funny to chuck popcorn at my brothers head, bad move, as he is a complete nut case short fuse. Upshot after the second time he jumps up and then proceeds to fill all4 off them in, with me trying to pull him off, how we laughed as we legged it of up the street. Don't think the girls were to impressed though :D :D
  10. I wish i'd have had the same fate. Instead I ended up getting kicked in the head a few times by his mucca as I pushed him out the fire escape. The Security Guard was kind enough to lock me outside with two of them. After a brief Scuffle and an eventual joint back down I tried to get back in. Where I was informed I was Barred from the premises and had to have my coat retrieved by some Spotty little Oik.
  11. CplFoodspoiler

    CplFoodspoiler War Hero Book Reviewer

    Circa 1967 took my very first gf to the pics. Was pissed off at the bus conductor when I asked for '2 to town please' he said 'you mean 1 and a half?'. We were watching 'Born free' in the ABC Leicester, actually getting on quite well with a little grope here and there, got all hot and bothered so bought a couple of Kiaoras. tried to put the straw in the wrong place (story of my life) and ended up with a lapfull of orange juice. Not the 'happy ending' one had hoped for.
    Bitch dumped me as soon as I went back off leave. I spent at least 15/6 on her too.
  12. Ahh there in lies your mistake mate, my bro took them on whilst they were sat in the seats, that and the fact he is a friggin loon, he managed to literally spark all 4 of them before I could reach him. Funniest bit in the pub later his girl at the time asked him why he had done and he replied in a flash without thinking 'THEY WAS TAKING THE PISS OUT OF THE REGIMENT I'M NOT HAVING THAT'. That was when I spat my beer out , all over my bird... :D :D
  13. Back in the seventies I was in a single man's quarters watching the Olympics in the TV room. I was with a p1ssed paddy from Dublin.

    He fell asleep in one of the chairs. About an hour later a guy came in and switched over to the horse racing.

    The paddy woke up with a start, looked at the telly and declared, ' I hate these fcuking Equestrian Events'
  14. Remember 1981 some of the lads and I went into Calgary and watched 'Saturday Night Fever' - when we walked out of the Cinema rather than walk into a raining cold British High St to catch the last bus home ...

    We walked into a North American street just like we'd seen in the film and
    headed into town to a Disco and to throw a few shapes on the dance floor (and have a few beers)
    - suppose you had to be there :oops:

  15. That must've been quite a site 8O I think that's called incest :?

    MDN would like to meet you methinks :twisted: