Chutney ferret chocolate

#1
Cadburys has seen their sales volumes rise 16%, mostly on the back of the reintroduction of the Wispa.

Now Wispa is truely hetrosexual chocolate. I felt like treating myself to one recently (portly fatherless nowadays...), but as I searched I also came across some really, really homo chocolate.

Twirl. Flake is for girls, fine, but Twirl is the rip off. Therefore, homo.

Dairy Milk and apricot crumble; the next stage is putting a c0ck in your mouth, no doubt to clear away the taste.

What others are there?

On the otherhand there are some pretty hetro chocs. Only a real man could eat a Mars bar at 3am on OTA with accompanying Midge garnish (it would have been minge garnish, but they were minging)
 
#3
k13eod said:
Yorkie Bar and Marathon (Snicker my arrse) are the only chocolate allowed to be eaten by men. The Law.
They're considering renaming the Snicker back to the original Marathon.

What about "Duncan's of Scotland", especially when it's turned that white colour...

Anything in the "galaxy" range is queer
 
#4
crabby said:
What about "Duncan's of Scotland", especially when it's turned that white colour...
Ahhh! White dog shit in the rat packs, heaven. Wasn't there a red and a blue packet?
 
#5
Homo chocolate is anything with stuff in other than nuts and raisins - which are allowed but only if the bar comes in ORP and has turned white on the outside. Or that white shite that puts you in a diabetic coma instantly whether you're diabetic or not.

I'm in two minds about Arabic Rolos.
 
#7
trowel said:
Crabby, I"ve never had a c*** in my mouth, what do they taste like?
The way my wife guzzles mine I assume it's like those posh, burds only chocolates with gooey shyte in.
 
#10
Markintime said:
What is the decision on Kit Kat Chunky? I've seen it in shops but never eaten any.

Kit Kat Ordinary and Jaffa Cakes, great for tea surely (if served in pint '58 patt mugs).
Kit Kat chunky has to be straighter than the mincy little thin bars one?
 
#11
I think KIT KAT chunky would be OK...but then some fudge nudger put peanut butter in some of em' :( Nobody has mentioned Wagon Wheels yet...Gay or Nay :D
 
#15
But what about the mighty Mars Bar? Thats a real mans choccy!!!

And what about chocolate covered biscuits or other assorted choccy based dunking items (borbons, cookies etc)
 
#16
Praetorian said:
crabby said:
What about "Duncan's of Scotland", especially when it's turned that white colour...
Ahhh! White dog shit in the rat packs, heaven. Wasn't there a red and a blue packet?
Yes they did have different colours but they were both filled with the same white dog shit IIRC.

Also off thread a bit but - has anybody ever purchased a packet of Bensons crisps or do they not exist outside of the world of Horror Bags?
 
#17
Yorkie bars are 'not for girls' and even 'not for civies' and therefore more hetro than fighting a dozen hungry tigers armed with nothing more than a trusty fruit knife.
 
#18
What a bunch of hermers.

Tiffin Bars, or just possibly Arabic Rolos as found in ORP are the only "realman" chocolateish munchies allowed.
 
#19
tank8367 said:
I think KIT KAT chunky would be OK...but then some fudge nudger put peanut butter in some of em' :( Nobody has mentioned Wagon Wheels yet...Gay or Nay :D
new size...gay
old size...fooking well manly!

bigger than your head, you could feed a family of four for a week on one of those bastads
 
#20
nebapneb said:
tank8367 said:
I think KIT KAT chunky would be OK...but then some fudge nudger put peanut butter in some of em' :( Nobody has mentioned Wagon Wheels yet...Gay or Nay :D
new size...gay
old size...fooking well manly!

bigger than your head, you could feed a family of four for a week on one of those bastads
If you eat Kit Kats that come wrapped in tin foil you are a man.

If you eat Kit Kats that come in the new wrapper you are not.

If you eat Kit Kat chunkys then you should be shot at dawn.
 

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