Now look here, I am not a real pervert...not by a long shot judging by the variety of posts on this here site. However, this morning the Fenian bride pinned me to the mattress and after two falls and a submission we got up and headed off to mass. I had been thoroughly drained of man fat and was quite calm - unusually so but when herself is inthe driving saddle, well "so it goes". I was tasked to take the fenianette into Sunday School and with a gritting of teeth, audible in the Vatican, I set off holding the choclatey and sticky paw of my apple-eye daughter. Bizarrely I found myself sat next to the guy who used to play fly half for my club side but even more bizarrely I found myself surrounded by "yummy mummies". Try thinking holy thoughts in that scenario - I was oscillating from images of Brendan half naked in West Leeds RFC and dark thoughts about half a dozen very sexy women. It was even worse when I went back into the body of the kirk. Fenian bride had found us a space by the altar and every woman in the congregation passed me en route to the sacraments. As a result of which I was totally horned up by the time we got to missa est and homeward bound. The question is, how on earth does this happen and more importantly what makes a good woman flirt the bejasus out of a church-going man, accompanied by his child? It was very ego boosting but boy it makes a nonsense of the whole purpose doesn't it? Amusingly enough, as it was standing room only in church, the priest remarked that we needed a BIGGER CHURCH. He then added the thought that actually that was unecessary, as "you lot only ever come on Easter!"