Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by 58_Pattern, Jun 6, 2006.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. How annoying are these charity muggers or "Chuggers" to you ? I walked 6 mins from my Office to the Railway Station and was stopped 6 times by idiots trying to get me to sign a Direct Debit in rush hour. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

    What annoys me more is that I see adverts in the Belfast Telegraph promoting jobs for these street collectors and offering £7 per hour !!!!!!!!!!!

    I do one DD to NSPCC and only give to the British Legion, Military Charities & nice decent old ladies who look kind and you can see they are voluntary helpers.

    How do we rid the street of these muppets. I begrudge giving a direct debit knowing that £15 per month funds 2 hours of scumbag waster chuggers.

    Any thoughts boys and girls ?
  2. Umbrella tipped with a ricin dart
  3. I only stop and talk to the fit ones. My logic is that if everyone did this they would soon only hire fit women and our streets would be lined with them and breaking the ice would be easy.
  4. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    Yea,I've been stopped by these muppets in Belfast as well,Normally hanging around the cash machines opp city hall.And I'm also sick of the f****ng bin bags shoved thru your letterbox for clothes & sh1te!
    I give the the RBL,RAFA,Cancer Research(what my Father died of) & Cats Protection.(I love a bit of puss! :p )
    But in the small town where I live (outside Bangor) the collectors are nearly daily outside the Co_Op,Post Office & Paper shop! Cant avoid them!!
  5. Your obviously too polite and keep stopping for them...Just carry on walking and say "sorry, no thanks, i am too busy" and keep walking at a brisk pace!!

    Failing that, a "look feckoff would you please" works just as well...
  6. i usually tell them how much debt im in, they get the message...
  7. I recommend you ask them for the details of their bank account. After all, if you're meant to trust them, they should be willing to trust you not to transfer all the cash out of it...right?
  8. Earphones, no-one talks to you if your wearing earphones and walk at brisk pace with suitably urined off expression on your face.
  9. Yeah, walking around with grim expression on your gub is an apt discouragement tool; works in the office, no c*nt wants you to do anything for them :evil:
  10. Just look like a penniless wino.

    Not a problem for me.
  11. A guaranteed foolproof way to deal not only with chuggers, door to door callers, street Pollsters and anyone else who approaches you is very simple!

    Eye to eye contact, hand up, palm facing them and a very firm, loud, 'GO AWAY'

    Do not even allow them the opportunity of opening their mouths!

    Whether you are a well-built Rugby Player or a dimunitive female office worker - it is highly effective and it works every single time!
  12. Carry a clipboard about with you and as the approach ask if they would like to donate x amount of ponds to the 58_pattern society
  13. The credit card botherers are the same, you get them in shopping centres and airports. A "no thanks, not interested" usually results in "Can I ask why?" to which "BECAUSE CREDIT CARDS ARE THE MARK OF THE BEAST!!!" while almost, but not quite, slobbering always, in my experience at least, results in a hasty and amusing withdrawl from the fray.
  14. The best way to avoid them - particularly the chuggers, who are usually half pissed students, is to say in a perfect English accent "Sorry I don't speak English"

    By the time the halfwit has worked out what you said you'll be well away, and there is no real retort to that either - apart from "err... but"

    Works every time, trust me.
  15. Whilst in Bletchley with Mrs Mukhabarat last November we walked into a shopping area only to be taken by surprise by a chugger. He appeared from behind us, blocked the path ahead and goes into his reparté with a stupid look across his fizog, "How diddly do, fancy seeing you out on this sunny day!"
    I let the side down in front of the Mrs with a well aimed retort of "FO Cnut!" and as we walked by rotated myself 180 degrees and followed up with the coup de grace, "You b*st*rd!"

    When we settle in a tea hole my Mrs gives me a roasting for being so forthright to these human tapeworms. Anyway after the wife gets bored with shopping we start walking back to catch the train to civilisation when this damn chugger jumps out again - he recognises me [probably because of my Mrs] and goes back into his alcove lair where he has a seat and a rucksack. So much for Bletchley.....

    As if that's not bad enough there's usually a spitoon of them outside Woolworths in Balham two or three times a week. This is on my route home and usually I get eye contact with them, increase my pace and walk straight through them - works well as they jump out the way. Must admit not seeing them for the last month or so but that might have something to do with the 6' well muscled black bloke in a pin strip who got the downer with one of these parasites and was working himself up nicely for a little applied psycology. Unfortunately my 'bus arrived before it kicked off so I don't know if it did - but well done bloke in pinstripe!