Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by General Melchett, Oct 8, 2008.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. General Melchett

    General Melchett LE Moderator

    Maybe this has been done before, oh well it's here again if it has.

    Go to the google homepage.

    In the search box type: Find Chuck Norris

    Now press the "I'm feeling lucky" bar and chortle at the search results.

    Enjoy. :twisted:
  2. Chuck Norris has no chin. Underneath the beard, there's just another fist.
  3. I don't know if i should be admitting this but......... I don't know who Chuck Norris is :oops:

    I asked the OH and he told me to stop being a bint!
  4. But Chuck Norris knows who you are.
  5. Now do the same with 'french military victories'.
  6. Chuck Norris tears can cure cancer. Too bad he's never cried......
  7. Chuck Norris is harder than Spartacus.
  8. Bowmore_Assassin

    Bowmore_Assassin LE Moderator Book Reviewer

    Chuck Norris does not do press-ups, he pushes the world down.
  9. Chuck Norris IS Spartacus
  10. my favourate quotes:

    5.Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

    4. Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield

    3. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

    2. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

    1. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

    I am not a big fan of Chuck, but theses quotes tickled me :)
  11. No !! I'm Spartacus !!
  12. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse, horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
  13. I'm Spartacus!

    As opposed to Sporticus,who has a very keen interest in playing with kiddies.
  14. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till."

    A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

    Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

    Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

    Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

    Wilt Chamberlin claims to have slept with over 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."

    Chuck Norris can impregnate women with only a glance. He can also do this to men.

    Chuck Norris does not use spell check. His spelling checks itself.

    Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

    When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

    President Bush DID have a sure fire plan to end the war in Iraq, However Chuck Norris was busy that day.