CHUCK NORRIS

#1
Maybe this has been done before, oh well it's here again if it has.

Go to the google homepage.

In the search box type: Find Chuck Norris

Now press the "I'm feeling lucky" bar and chortle at the search results.

Enjoy. :twisted:
 
#2
Chuck Norris has no chin. Underneath the beard, there's just another fist.
 
#4
I don't know if i should be admitting this but......... I don't know who Chuck Norris is :oops:

I asked the OH and he told me to stop being a bint!
 
#5
D0lly86 said:
I don't know if i should be admitting this but......... I don't know who Chuck Norris is :oops:

I asked the OH and he told me to stop being a bint!
But Chuck Norris knows who you are.
 
#7
Chuck Norris tears can cure cancer. Too bad he's never cried......
 

Bowmore_Assassin

LE
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#9
Chuck Norris does not do press-ups, he pushes the world down.
 
#11
my favourate quotes:

5.Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

4. Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield

3. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

2. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

1. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

I am not a big fan of Chuck, but theses quotes tickled me :)
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#13
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse, horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
 
#15
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till."

A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Wilt Chamberlin claims to have slept with over 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."

Chuck Norris can impregnate women with only a glance. He can also do this to men.

Chuck Norris does not use spell check. His spelling checks itself.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

President Bush DID have a sure fire plan to end the war in Iraq, However Chuck Norris was busy that day.
 
#17
Chuck Norris has to sleep with the light on. Not because he's scared of the dark, but because the dark is scared of Chuck Norris
 
#18
What do you call it when Chuck Norris kicks Mr T in the face? Irresistable force hits immovable object...
 

BrunoNoMedals

LE
Kit Reviewer
#20
Chuck Norris does not use condoms. He inserts his penis into a woman and uses her as a sheath to screw other women.
 

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