Christmas

#1
It was the night before Christmas
He lived all alone
In a one bedroomed house
Made of plaster and stone.

I had come down the chimney
With presents to give
And to see just who
In this home did live.

I looked all about
A strange sight I did see
No tinsel, no presents
Not even a tree.

No stocking by mantel
Just boots filled with sand. On the wall hung pictures of far distant lands.

With medals and badges, awards of all kinds
A sober thought
Came through my mind.

For this house was different
It was dark and dreary
I found the home of a soldier
Once I could see clearly.

The soldier lay sleeping silent, alone
Curled up on the floor
In this one bedroomed home

The face was so gentle
The room in disorder
Now that I pictured
A true British soldier

Was this the hero
Of whom I'd just read?
Curled up on a poncho
The floor for a bed

I realised the families
That I saw this night
Owed their lives to these soldiers
Who were willing to fight

Soon round the world
The children would play
The grown-ups would celebrate
A bright Christmas Day

They all enjoyed freedom
Each month of the year
Because of the soldiers
Like the one lying here

I couldn't help wonder
How many lay alone
On a cold Christmas Eve
In a land far from home

The very thought brought
A tear to my eye
I dropped to my knees
And started to cry

The soldier awakened
And I heard a rough voice
"Santa don't cry,
This life is my choice"

"I fight for freedom
I don't ask for more
My life is my mates
My country, my corps"

The soldier rolled over
And drifted to sleep
I couldn't control it
I continued to weep

I kept watch for hours
So silent and still
And we both shivered
From the colds night's
Chill

I did not want to leave
On that cold, dark night
This guardian of
Honour
So willing to fight

Then the soldier rolled over
With a voice soft and pure
Whispered "carry on Santa,
It's Christmas Day, all is secure"

One look at my watch
And I knew he was right
"Merry Christmas my friend,
And to all a good night"

Please think of all those who can't be at home over Christmas...take care
 
#4
It was the night before Christmas
He lived all alone
................some shite ode........
"Merry Christmas my friend,
And to all a good night"

Please think of all those who can't be at home over Christmas...take care
I am thinking of them.

I'm thinking "ha ha ha, stag on you squaddie cnuts. If you had put more effort in whilst at school you too could be spending Christmas with your family"
 
#5
Mary had a little lamb
she thought it very silly
she threw it up into the air
and caught it by its willy.

Think of the little lambs this Christmastide, oh, and the sock-puppet wind-up merchants.
 
P

PrinceAlbert

Guest
#7
It was the night before payday
But he wasn't alone
In an 8 man tent
Not plaster and stone

I unzipped the flap
to give news before leaving
and dick some poor squaddie
for guard duty that evening

I looked all about
the usual sight I did see
No tinsel, no presents
just a feint smell of wee

No wanksock by mantel
Just bags filled with sand.
to keep out the water
when it rains in Helmand

With gash bags, and brew kit
cheap rugs of all kind
A sober thought
Came through my mind.

this tent was no different
It was dark and dreary
I found the home of a soldier
Once I could see clearly.

The soldier lay sleeping
silent, alone
Curled up on his campcot
In this 8 personed home

His fat face was rotund
The room in disorder
Now that I pictured
A true TA soldier

Was this the retard
Of whom I'd just read
he failed his PFT
cos he was sponsored by Greggs

Probably.....wake up you slack ****, you're on stag
 
#9
It was the night before Christmas
He lived all alone
In a one bedroomed house
Made of plaster and stone.

I had come down the chimney
With presents to give
And to see just who
In this home did live.

I looked all about
A strange sight I did see
No tinsel, no presents
Not even a tree.

No stocking by mantel
Just boots filled with sand. On the wall hung pictures of far distant lands.

With medals and badges, awards of all kinds
A sober thought
Came through my mind.

For this house was different
It was dark and dreary
I found the home of a soldier
Once I could see clearly.

The soldier lay sleeping silent, alone
Curled up on the floor
In this one bedroomed home

The face was so gentle
The room in disorder
Now that I pictured
A true British soldier

Was this the hero
Of whom I'd just read?
Curled up on a poncho
The floor for a bed

I realised the families
That I saw this night
Owed their lives to these soldiers
Who were willing to fight

Soon round the world
The children would play
The grown-ups would celebrate
A bright Christmas Day

They all enjoyed freedom
Each month of the year
Because of the soldiers
Like the one lying here

I couldn't help wonder
How many lay alone
On a cold Christmas Eve
In a land far from home

The very thought brought
A tear to my eye
I dropped to my knees
And started to cry

The soldier awakened
And I heard a rough voice
"Santa don't cry,
This life is my choice"

"I fight for freedom
I don't ask for more
My life is my mates
My country, my corps"

The soldier rolled over
And drifted to sleep
I couldn't control it
I continued to weep

I kept watch for hours
So silent and still
And we both shivered
From the colds night's
Chill

I did not want to leave
On that cold, dark night
This guardian of
Honour
So willing to fight

Then the soldier rolled over
With a voice soft and pure
Whispered "carry on Santa,
It's Christmas Day, all is secure"

One look at my watch
And I knew he was right
"Merry Christmas my friend,
And to all a good night"

Please think of all those who can't be at home over Christmas...take care
My Work Pictures 072.jpg

Has anyone ever told you that you look like a right scrot? :?
 
#12
M

Mark The Convict

Guest
#14
Yuletide is here - intellectual runts
posting trite doggerel and acting like cnuts.
Surely they know that we're certain to scoff
our mildest reply being 'Just BUGGER OFF!'
But no, here they are, like moths to the flame
playing a part in a masochist's game.
Hackneyed, emotive, numbingly drear,
Thank Christ Christmas comes but once a year.
 
#15
Mary, Mary quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
I live in a flat you stupid twat,
How the **** would I know?
 
#16
Three posts in 2 years and a full 1/3 of is pure rancid gash juice.
I've not even looked at the other two

Sent by carrier pigeon using Speckled Jim
 
#17
It was the night before Christmas
He lived all alone
In a one bedroomed house
Made of plaster and stone.

I had come down the chimney
With presents to give
And to see just who
In this home did live.

I looked all about
A strange sight I did see
No tinsel, no presents
Not even a tree.

No stocking by mantel
Just boots filled with sand. On the wall hung pictures of far distant lands.

With medals and badges, awards of all kinds
A sober thought
Came through my mind.

For this house was different
It was dark and dreary
I found the home of a soldier
Once I could see clearly.

The soldier lay sleeping silent, alone
Curled up on the floor
In this one bedroomed home

The face was so gentle
The room in disorder
Now that I pictured
A true British soldier

Was this the hero
Of whom I'd just read?
Curled up on a poncho
The floor for a bed

I realised the families
That I saw this night
Owed their lives to these soldiers
Who were willing to fight

Soon round the world
The children would play
The grown-ups would celebrate
A bright Christmas Day

They all enjoyed freedom
Each month of the year
Because of the soldiers
Like the one lying here

I couldn't help wonder
How many lay alone
On a cold Christmas Eve
In a land far from home

The very thought brought
A tear to my eye
I dropped to my knees
And started to cry

The soldier awakened
And I heard a rough voice
"Santa don't cry,
This life is my choice"

"I fight for freedom
I don't ask for more
My life is my mates
My country, my corps"

The soldier rolled over
And drifted to sleep
I couldn't control it
I continued to weep

I kept watch for hours
So silent and still
And we both shivered
From the colds night's
Chill

I did not want to leave
On that cold, dark night
This guardian of
Honour
So willing to fight

Then the soldier rolled over
With a voice soft and pure
Whispered "carry on Santa,
It's Christmas Day, all is secure"

One look at my watch
And I knew he was right
"Merry Christmas my friend,
And to all a good night"

Please think of all those who can't be at home over Christmas...take care
Why..... thank you, Santa.... I just KNEW I wasn't dreaming.... but you didn't leave me a present you miserable bastard, a bottle of Buckfast would've been nice....
 
#18
Why..... thank you, Santa.... I just KNEW I wasn't dreaming.... but you didn't leave me a present you miserable bastard, a bottle of Buckfast would've been nice....
The only thing on my Christmas list this year. No other luxury is needed nor wanted.
 
#20
Santa at the ATOS test

Stitch up nurse "How often do you attend work ?"

Santa "One night per year and last year I brought you a luvvlie present. An office hours job paying more than NHS and with no legal liability for your actions"

Stitch up nurse "And what can I expect this year ?"

Santa "Extended contract to stitch up those currently on DLA and what can I expect my dear failed NHS nurse ?"

Stitch up nurse "You can expect to carry on getting away with working one night per year "
 

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