Christmas Nativity Play Characters

B

Biscuits_AB

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#1
Today, my youngest came home from school all chuffed to NAAFI breaks that she'd been given a part in the school nativity play. Marvellous I thought. Standing there are happy and smiley, she thrust out the written confirmation she held in her tiny little hand.

It read;

Dear Parent,

CHRISTMAS NATIVITY

Your child ????? has been chosen to play the part of a bat. Please can you arrange for your child to wear a suitable costume.

Yours sincerely

?? ?????
KS1 Teacher

A f*cking bat? For the life of me and I'm a taig, I sure as f*ck don't recall any bats in the nativity?
 

Sixty

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#2
Biscuits_AB said:
A f*cking bat? For the life of me and I'm a taig, I sure as f*ck don't recall any bats in the nativity?
It's for the three wise men. They got the gold and myrrh all right but couldn't find any Frankenstein so they went with Dracula.
 
#3
is your kid Black?
 
#4

BiscuitsAB

LE
Moderator
#5
Biscuits_AB said:
Today, my youngest came home from school all chuffed to NAAFI breaks that she'd been given a part in the school nativity play. Marvellous I thought. Standing there are happy and smiley, she thrust out the written confirmation she held in her tiny little hand.

It read;

Dear Parent,

CHRISTMAS NATIVITY

Your child ????? has been chosen to play the part of a bat. Please can you arrange for your child to wear a suitable costume.

Yours sincerely

?? ?????
KS1 Teacher

A f*cking bat? For the life of me and I'm a taig, I sure as f*ck don't recall any bats in the nativity?

Well tell the teacher you think its ok for your daughter to play a bat as long as it can be called Mohammed.
 
#6
The teacher was obviously inspired by Love Actually:

Karen: So what's this big news, then?
Daisy: [excited] We've been given our parts in the nativity play. And I'm the lobster.
Karen: The lobster?
Daisy: Yeah!
Karen: In the nativity play?
Daisy: [beaming] Yeah, *first* lobster.
Karen: There was more than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus?
Daisy: Duh.


:wink:
 
#7
Pomps MK I & II have school play with a difference, apparently traditional nativity is not the done thing these days FFS.
So, like Mr AB, small notes of paper informing MKI is playing part of 2nd Alien and MKII is playing part of a Robot. Suitable costumes procured from the web.

Theme seems to be one of Merry Red Dwarf/StarTreck instead of Merry Christmas.
 
#10
I want to be Abu 'Captain Hook' Hamza, the resident baddie.

I know it's a nativity, but all plays have a baddie. It's the law.
 
#11
Here's how to handle it - get a good picie of Blair, make a cardboard face out of it with elastic and send sprog off with it to the play.

When teacher complains of Blair mask not bat reply, oh my, that's the dyslexia, I thought your letter said 'play the part of a tw@t'!

:D
 
#13
Might it not be a cricket bat?
 
#14
LIMA said:
I want to play Mohammed the Holy Bear!!!
Erm, Muhammad is thethe Donkey, I thought. Inclusiveness and all...
 
#15
The 3 wise men, saddam,uday & ali with guest appearances by tony blair & george bush as the ass (donkey) & fay 'tugboat' turney as the virgin mary.
 
#16
think yourself lucky, my little 'un is playing Santa and his play is about astronauts who have crashed on another planet and are worried about getting back home for Christmas.....

God forbid anyone should mention the big JC and offend anybody!!!!
 
#17
Ok slightly off topic but middle child comes home from school yesterday with latest joke (inspired by local events this week).

Son: Mohammed, Djamel and Ayesha are in a car, who's driving?

Me: Er, Mohammed?

Son: No.

Me: Djamel?

Son: No

Me: Ok, Ayesha then.

Son: No, the police!!!

Cue children all falling about with laughter and me trying to keep straight face but failing miserably.
 
#18
My eldest's school are going for the traditonal this year... Mary, Joseph, Wise Men and er... the parrots???!!! :roll:
 

Auld-Yin

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#20
Biscuits_AB said:
Today, my youngest came home from school all chuffed to NAAFI breaks that she'd been given a part in the school nativity play. Marvellous I thought. Standing there are happy and smiley, she thrust out the written confirmation she held in her tiny little hand.

It read;

Dear Parent,

CHRISTMAS NATIVITY

Your child ????? has been chosen to play the part of a bat. Please can you arrange for your child to wear a suitable costume.

Yours sincerely

?? ?????
KS1 Teacher

A f*cking bat? For the life of me and I'm a taig, I sure as f*ck don't recall any bats in the nativity?
This has to be a HUGE waaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh.

A 'fullish' term (22 years or there abouts) as a monkey and yet your 'youngest' is in the nursery nativity play. Late developers?
 

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