Today, my youngest came home from school all chuffed to NAAFI breaks that she'd been given a part in the school nativity play. Marvellous I thought. Standing there are happy and smiley, she thrust out the written confirmation she held in her tiny little hand. It read; Dear Parent, CHRISTMAS NATIVITY Your child ????? has been chosen to play the part of a bat. Please can you arrange for your child to wear a suitable costume. Yours sincerely ?? ????? KS1 Teacher A f*cking bat? For the life of me and I'm a taig, I sure as f*ck don't recall any bats in the nativity?