Christmas Nativity Play Characters

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Biscuits_AB, Nov 30, 2007.

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  1. Today, my youngest came home from school all chuffed to NAAFI breaks that she'd been given a part in the school nativity play. Marvellous I thought. Standing there are happy and smiley, she thrust out the written confirmation she held in her tiny little hand.

    It read;

    Dear Parent,

    CHRISTMAS NATIVITY

    Your child ????? has been chosen to play the part of a bat. Please can you arrange for your child to wear a suitable costume.

    Yours sincerely

    ?? ?????
    KS1 Teacher

    A f*cking bat? For the life of me and I'm a taig, I sure as f*ck don't recall any bats in the nativity?
     
  2. Sixty

    Sixty LE Moderator Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Cyclists and Triathletes

    It's for the three wise men. They got the gold and myrrh all right but couldn't find any Frankenstein so they went with Dracula.
     
  3. is your kid Black?
     
  4. BiscuitsAB

    BiscuitsAB LE Moderator


    Well tell the teacher you think its ok for your daughter to play a bat as long as it can be called Mohammed.
     
  5. The teacher was obviously inspired by Love Actually:

    Karen: So what's this big news, then?
    Daisy: [excited] We've been given our parts in the nativity play. And I'm the lobster.
    Karen: The lobster?
    Daisy: Yeah!
    Karen: In the nativity play?
    Daisy: [beaming] Yeah, *first* lobster.
    Karen: There was more than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus?
    Daisy: Duh.


    :wink:
     
  6. Pomps MK I & II have school play with a difference, apparently traditional nativity is not the done thing these days FFS.
    So, like Mr AB, small notes of paper informing MKI is playing part of 2nd Alien and MKII is playing part of a Robot. Suitable costumes procured from the web.

    Theme seems to be one of Merry Red Dwarf/StarTreck instead of Merry Christmas.
     
  7. I want to play Mohammed the Holy Bear!!!
     
  8. a bat!!!mine,s a fcuking snowflake! 8O
     
  9. I want to be Abu 'Captain Hook' Hamza, the resident baddie.

    I know it's a nativity, but all plays have a baddie. It's the law.
     
  10. Here's how to handle it - get a good picie of Blair, make a cardboard face out of it with elastic and send sprog off with it to the play.

    When teacher complains of Blair mask not bat reply, oh my, that's the dyslexia, I thought your letter said 'play the part of a tw@t'!

    :D
     
  11. i want to be comical ali the resident joker. :roll:
     
  12. Might it not be a cricket bat?
     
  13. Erm, Muhammad is thethe Donkey, I thought. Inclusiveness and all...
     
  14. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    The 3 wise men, saddam,uday & ali with guest appearances by tony blair & george bush as the ass (donkey) & fay 'tugboat' turney as the virgin mary.