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Christmas food shopping

Cold_Collation

LE
Book Reviewer
So, SWMBO has taken the TV remote off me and put it on mute. I'm to give her my 'undivided attention for at least 10 minutes' and we are to decide on a menu for the next few days.

We'll be going to Waitrose, in our ongoing attempts to gentrify the postcode.

I am noticing fewer white trainers locally. The battle is being won. Slowly.

She says to me, pen poised, "So, choose anything. What does your heart desire?"

Apparently, "Nowt that you'll find in Waitrose" wasn't the right answer.

I'm currently 10 minutes into what may become known in the history books as The Great Awkwardness. She still has the remote.

What am I bid?
 
You had me until I read "We'll be going to Waitrose".

Wear a hat when you go so no one will see the thumbprint on your forehead
 

OneTenner

LE
Book Reviewer
Try throwing in descriptively correct but non-standard descriptions, such as 'minced seasoned pork trimmings in collagen tubes' instead of sausages, see how well that goes when she can't find it on the website.....
 
So, SWMBO has taken the TV remote off me and put it on mute. I'm to give her my 'undivided attention for at least 10 minutes' and we are to decide on a menu for the next few days.

We'll be going to Waitrose, in our ongoing attempts to gentrify the postcode.

I am noticing fewer white trainers locally. The battle is being won. Slowly.

She says to me, pen poised, "So, choose anything. What does your heart desire?"

Apparently, "Nowt that you'll find in Waitrose" wasn't the right answer.

I'm currently 10 minutes into what may become known in the history books as The Great Awkwardness. She still has the remote.

What am I bid?
Don't forget to pick up an organic, vegan, sac plastique, in which to carry home your artisnal comestibles at five times the cost of exactly the same item elsewhere.
 
SWMBO will buy at least 3 Turkey Crowns and enough veg to feed an Army. She will then go into a sulk when i complain that’s it’s alll too much for us to eat, quoting many years past as evidence and despite half the xmas dinner being only half consumed.

After xmas i will point out that the £40 on Turkey Crowns she has frozen are reduced to £10.

I will not win the discussion.

In about Sept/Oct next year after complaining that the freezer has been full of frozen turkey for nearly a year we will have a month of turkey sandwiches.

Come Christmas 2021, the same will be repeated as it has been ever since 2001.
 

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
So, SWMBO has taken the TV remote off me and put it on mute. I'm to give her my 'undivided attention for at least 10 minutes' and we are to decide on a menu for the next few days.

We'll be going to Waitrose, in our ongoing attempts to gentrify the postcode.

I am noticing fewer white trainers locally. The battle is being won. Slowly.

She says to me, pen poised, "So, choose anything. What does your heart desire?"

Apparently, "Nowt that you'll find in Waitrose" wasn't the right answer.

I'm currently 10 minutes into what may become known in the history books as The Great Awkwardness. She still has the remote.

What am I bid?
Waitrose have a nice line in Venison products this year, we're going with the Venison rack for Christmas dinner on 23rd (as I'm working over Christmas) and a Venison Wellington for Boxing day, all ordered online months ago and getting picked up tomorrow.HTH.
 

Cold_Collation

LE
Book Reviewer
SWMBO will buy at least 3 Turkey Crowns and enough veg to feed an Army. She will then go into a sulk when i complain that’s it’s alll too much for us to eat, quoting many years past as evidence and despite half the xmas dinner being only half consumed.

After xmas i will point out that the £40 on Turkey Crowns she has frozen are reduced to £10.

I will not win the discussion.

In about Sept/Oct next year after complaining that the freezer has been full of frozen turkey for nearly a year we will have a month of turkey sandwiches.

Come Christmas 2021, the same will be repeated as it has been ever since 2001.
Strong post.
 

Cold_Collation

LE
Book Reviewer
Waitrose have a nice line in Venison products this year, we're going with the Venison rack for Christmas dinner on 23rd (as I'm working over Christmas) and a Venison Wellington for Boxing day. HTH.
Beef Wellington here, apparently.

There was a point once in life that I would have thought that was a position, not a meal.
 

HCL

LE
So, SWMBO has taken the TV remote off me and put it on mute. I'm to give her my 'undivided attention for at least 10 minutes' and we are to decide on a menu for the next few days.

We'll be going to Waitrose, in our ongoing attempts to gentrify the postcode.

I am noticing fewer white trainers locally. The battle is being won. Slowly.

She says to me, pen poised, "So, choose anything. What does your heart desire?"

Apparently, "Nowt that you'll find in Waitrose" wasn't the right answer.

I'm currently 10 minutes into what may become known in the history books as The Great Awkwardness. She still has the remote.

What am I bid?

Bin the new tea and get back on the PG, she thinks she's got your balls for Christmas as a new pair of ear rings.

Show her who's boss, wipe your todger on her best chintz.
 

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