Christmas do.

Been voluntold to organise a coy Christmas smoker. So far I've been set the following:

£500-£600 budget
To include food in budget (cold buffet).
A raffle with decent prizes
To be held in the unit bar
No spouses or kids

I've been swayed with the idea of a mess/games night by my colour man. However I'm not part of a mess being a lowly JNCO so are stuck for ideas.

Any help?

And before anyone says it I've been given fuck all guidance from those above me apart from "find out what the lads want to do". I ask the coy and the standard answer is "don't care really. I'll go along with what everyone else wants". Any ideas I've presented so far have been met with not much response.

Oh, I've got 2 weeks to get it sorted.

I considered spending the cash on hookers but £600 won't go far.
With 600 notes id say drinking games bottles as prizes. Entertainment is more important than prizes on a raffle try make the raffle break even start flogging tickets beforehand, allow none attendees to buy them. On that budget you won't get a dj or disco so id organise games like a juniors seniors games night just remember to fix it so the juniors win. If you need game ideas inbox me im on my phone cba typing too much now.
I'm assuming it's a do for the juniors etc, seeing as the adults will have their respective mess do's?

In which case, it's a piece of piss. Get yourself over to the Q and blag some big arsed tents which you can knock up anywhere on camp (we blagged the parade square from the RSM!). Get the seniors/officers to work the bar and simply ply the troops with cheap hooch. Quadruple Baileys goes down a treat. Bit of music in the corner and in all honesty the guys will be too shitted to give a crap what's going on. Everyone will have a ball and not much claret will be split... Well, not too much anyway


I'm assuming it's a do for the juniors etc, seeing as the adults will have their respective mess do's?
No, he said it was a 'Coy' do...

Serious answer - a £600 will go far enough if you add the 'price per head' on top of it. I'm guessing you'll have around 75 going? Why no spouses? Otherwise I'd say that's an extra £5 per head, per guest - making it at least another £500 to play with if you manage to hit the hundred mark.

If your NAAFI has a function room, you'll probably find they'll supply it for free, along with the bar staff (no ED Pay) as it's all part of their contract - the only stipulation being that all grog will have to be purchased via them (i.e. No ad-hoc Baileys fountains).

With your bag o sand, you can get a decent Karaoke for around £200, who'll gladly do the DJ'ing for the evening. Big Fun do things like inflatable bucking broncos, saloon bar shootout games etc for around £300 a pop. They're based in Ipswich (Google is your friend).

I also have a similar problem in trying to get ideas from the guys - nobody seems that bothered. Just keep it simple. This year we're going with a local club down town, VIP room, buffet selection 2 from their menu, dress code smart-casual sporting your best Xmas Jumper - I already have my Rudolph one with stick-out antlers on order :)

Will you need a minibus to do a sweep around the local area? Most Regts have a PRI bus that's normally £30 and whatever fuel you use. I'm sure whoever is being picked up will be grateful enough to dig deep in their sky rockets for a lift back to their local pads etc.

We did a money tree at our last bash too - £2 a ticket, or £10 a strip - some healthy sums were presented at the end. Most bought a strip, one or two jocks bought just a single ticket (one of them scooped top prize too!)

A final thought - when looking for decoration to kit the place out, or help with services, funding etc - be polite, tell them who you are and what you're about - you'll be surprised how many people will help you out if you pitch it right. Appeal to their vanity and see what you can offer them in return. For example, we needed our Calor Gas filling for the BBQs - they were only too happy to get this done for free, after offering them a tour around our gaff, and a few publicity pics for their Company staff magazine.

Anway - I'm sure there's a few people on this site who'll have a few more things to throw at you. Feel free to PM me for any advice and good luck.

And seeing as you posted this in the NAAFI Bar - shit, nipples, bearded clam, frottage, etc
tug of war,
shot draughts (baileys for White, JD and Coke for Black)
Mess Rugby
Dam busters
Boat race - teams of 8
Obstacle Course


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Book Reviewer
Cold buffets are shit. Order in a load of pizzas instead, otherwise you'll just be left with hundreds of un-eaten chicken drumsticks and stale sandwiches at the end of the do. Even a big fuck off vat of curry or chilli is better than a cold buffet. Also kegs are the way to go when it comes to beer, works out cheaper than cans and creates less mess, they tend to add a bit of novelty value too.

If you can source a projector and a Nintendo Wii or an Xbox kinect, get a tennis or bowling tournament on the go, always goes down well.

Also if your unit has a corps of drums get them to beat the retreat, always adds a bit of pomp and ceremony to the do. Afterwards you can throw empty tins at them which is always fun.

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