*Warning. To the sober, the language will not make sense!* Vodka & Red Bull Christmas Cake Ingredients: 1 cup water 1 cup brown sugar 1 tsp baking soda 1 cup butter 1 tsp salt Lemon juice 4 large eggs Selection of your favourite nuts 1 bottle of Vodka 1 bottle of Red Bull 2 cups of dried fruit Method: 1. Sample the Vodka to check the quality. 2. Take a large bowl to mix in. Check the Vodka again. 3. To be sure your Vodka is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and mix with a little Red Bull and drink. 4. Repeat. 5. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter til it is in your bowl light and fluffy. 6. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. 7. At this point it is a good idea to test your Vodka again. 8. Flavour with some more Red Bull. 9. Try another cup â its tasty isnât it â just in case better make sure you turn off the mixerer device. 10. Break two leggs and add to the bowl. Chuck in the cup of dried fruit. 11. Pick up the dried fruit that didnât quite make the bowl from the floor and pop it in the bowl. 12. Mix on the turner. 13. If the dried fruit gets stuck in the beaterer, pry it loose with a drewscriver. 14. Shample the Vodka to check for tonsisticitity. Flavour it with a little Bed Rull. 15. Next sssiffft two cups of salt. Or sugar. Or whatever you can find...Who giveshz a shit! Have sommmme mmmore Vodka! 16. Throw in a pinch of Bed Rull over your shoulder. 17. Now pick up the can and contemplate moping the floor. 18. Where did you put that Vodka bottle? Oh, already in your hand, good, test it again. Yes, straight from the bottle is fine. 19. Now, locate your bixing mowl and shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts into it. 20. Add one table. 21. Add a schpoooon of shugar, or somefing. Whatever you can find. 22. Haff some morrre VVVodka. 23. Turn the cake 369 degrees and try not to fall overâ¦ 24. Donât forget to beat off the turner. 25. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Vodka and kick the dog. 26. Stumble to the living room and collapse in a heap on the couch. CHERRY MISTMAS!