christmas and drink driving.

#1
OK christmas is just around the corner. You get your leave or holiday if you are a civvi. You plan a night out and then-you start to ponder as you get ready to go on the pull-

The thought process may be as follows-

As you get ready

I'ts a long way into town-mmm-maybe there won't be any taxis-mmm-what if I pull a bird-mmm-fck it I will take my car, I won't drive home piised-no that's right fck it.

The night out begins

Fckin hell my mates are all piissing it up and having a great time-mmm-I don't want to look like a loser-mmmm-fck it I will just have a pint-mmm-should I have halves-mmm-no fck it I will just look like a fcking puusy in front of my mates-I will have a pint -just one.

The night drifts on

well I've had two pints-mmm-fck it a couple more wont hurt-it's fcking great in here, loads of birds yeeehaaa-yes just another pint.

Later that night

Your so called mates say to you, "whats up can't you handle a few beers-come on have another you boring twaat".

mmm-you think to yourself maybe just one more- now your mind may start to shift from- I will just have two pints to- I will not get stopped by the police- fck it I will have a couple more.
Yeeeeaaaahhhh, whooohooo, fcking great night-reasoning has left you at this point and you really will feel like you are still being sensible.

Closing time.

Where did I park my fcking car-oh yes I remember-fck me I'm piised. How many did I have-mm-oh fck it- I will never get a taxi now-anyway my money is all gone now.

your so called mates may say "come on you can drive us home-we haven't got the money for a taxi it's all gone. fck it you will be alright -come on-come on. There aren't many cops about".

At this stage with the keys in your pocket and your piised up peers goading you on-you may make one of the most serious errors of judgement in your lifetime-you decide to drive home piised up.

BAD CHOICE.


My brother a fireman who has a commendation for saving a mans life during a fire told me this story once-now I must stress he never usually ever talks about his job-even to me-yet this was one job that really upset him.

Here's the story-I have remembered it for a good few years-he told me-

I was on watch one night near christmas-we got a call out saying that there had been a car crash-RTA.

We were told that two people were just injured. when we got to the scene there was two men standing by two smashed up cars. we all got out and assesed the scene. I went up to the two young blokes and said was there one of you in each car then.

After some time one of the blokes said-no we crashed into that other car.

I asked them where the other driver was-"we don't know" they said. It was clear to me that they were both piised up. I walked off and we took torches from the tender and searched the area.

Then as we searched the area the police turned up and breathalised the driver of the other car. He was well over the limit. Still even though the blue lights were flashing and police were now all over the scene we continued the search.

The ambulance then arrived on the scene. After some more time I came across a young woman laying twisted on the grass bank. we called over the ambulance team and after some time she was pronounced dead.

All of the focus now changed to the two blokes, the drunk driver was arrested and the whole scene started to become more organised.

Yet one thing sticks in my mind-I turned around and the woman was still laying on the grass bank dead-so very young-someones daughter-all those years of investment-gone in a flash. I walked over to her-she was almost unmarked from the crash.

I reached down and gently pulled her skirt over her exposed twisted legs- to cover her up-to give her some respect. The blokes were piissed up yet they were not injured-it's so damned unfair.

Please remember that true story and think about that woman- before you drink and drive.

Tips.

1.Allocate a driver before you go out.

2.Ensure that he knows that he is not going to drink at all- all night.

3.Buy him all his soft drinks all night.

4.Pre book taxis for the night out book a return journey and arrange a pick up time and place.

5.If you have got to take your car then take a good quality sleeping bag with you. Then at the end of the night get into the car an into your sleeping bag and go to sleep. A good quality sleeping bag will keep you warm and you will not die of exposure if you are in the dry and in a good sleeping bag-trust me I have slept cozy outside in a sleeping bag and bivvi bag in rain storms and snow storms many, many times.

I have also slept in my car with a sleeping bag after nights out on the piish. A policeman once came upto my car in the early hours and asked me why I was sleeping in my car. when I told him that I had been for a night out and did not want to drive home-he said "great idea-well have a good night-see you". Then he walked away.


Waking up warm and dry and then going for breakfast at mcdonalds is great and you will still have your life and your licence.

6.Don't try to walk home as you may either get run over or fall asleep and die of the cold. I once peddled a bike twenty five miles in the dark without lights when piissed just for a shaag. 'Stupid choice'.

7.Take your keys out of the ignition if you are sleeping in your car in your sleeping bag. This will stop you from being arrested by an over keen policeman who may say you are 'drunk in charge of a vehicle'.

8.So plan your night out and stick to the plan-just make sure you don't drink and drive and end up killing yourself or some other innocent person.

Merry Christmas to you all - now fck off behave and have a good one. :D
 
#2
EAGLE1 said:
Don't try to walk home as you may either get run over or fall asleep and die of the cold. I once peddled a bike twenty five miles in the dark without lights when piissed just for a shag. 'Stupid choice'
You, Sir, have my utmost respect!!!!!!
 
#3
the_matelot said:
EAGLE1 said:
Don't try to walk home as you may either get run over or fall asleep and die of the cold. I once peddled a bike twenty five miles in the dark without lights when piissed just for a shag. 'Stupid choice'
You, Sir, have my utmost respect!!!!!!
I would rather have a tommy tank!
 

Zoid

Old-Salt
#4
EAGLE1 said:

4.Pre book taxis for the night out book a return journey and arrange a pick up time and place.

If you are really sad, and having an extreme fit of organisation, you can book taxis from different firms, on the hour, every hour from about 10 till 3, to cover all the bases :D

You just have to mind not to get too pisssed as to remember where you booked the cabs from if choice is limited and you have to book from the same firm and have pickups in different locations!
 
#5
EAGLE1 said:

5.If you have got to take your car then take a good quality sleeping bag with you. Then at the end of the night get into the car an into your sleeping bag and go to sleep. A good quality sleeping bag will keep you warm and you will not die of exposure if you are in the dry and in a good sleeping bag-trust me I have slept cozy outside in a sleeping bag and bivvi bag in rain storms and snow storms many, many times.

I have also slept in my car with a sleeping bag after nights out on the piish. A policeman once came upto my car in the early hours and asked me why I was sleeping in my car. when I told him that I had been for a night out and did not want to drive home-he said "great idea-well have a good night-see you". Then he walked away.

7.Take your keys out of the ignition if you are sleeping in your car in your sleeping bag. This will stop you from being arrested by an over keen policeman who may say you are 'drunk in charge of a vehicle'.

Merry Christmas to you all - now fck off behave and have a good one. :D
Don't bank on the sleeping in you car option mate just leave the fcking thing at home and remember you can still over the limit into the afternoon of the following day depending how much you've had to drink!
Below is what a police officer has quoted on a camper van site about the same issue many points will be relevent!

With regard to drink drive laws, a public place is "a place to which the public have access whether on payment or not" (this is the general public place thing for all sorts of offences).

This means a campsite is a public place unless it is members only and does not allow none members AND there is no implied permission of access ie the entrance has a barrier on it.

A pub car park can be both public and private. ie normal pub car park with an in and out; that will be a public place. A pub car park with a motorhome parking place/CL behind with signs up displaying "Private-no access" will be regarded as private. This could be reinforced further with chain access or similar. Without this it would be a public place.

The most important bit is this:

The prosecution have to PROVE a likelyhood of driving for the offence to be fully committed and succeed at court. That would mean something like the van being tidy (mine never was anyway!) in such a state that it could be driven, driver dressed, ready to go.

Conversely bed made, blinds down etc, washing up in sink and draining board, tea cooking, everyone in their jim jams (or all together!) would not be constructed as being likely to drive.

A prosecution in this case would fail.

Bear in mind we are talking about the court here. The driver/occupant also would have to pass the little known "attitude test", basically if you fail to do what you are told or advised you may still be arrested and taken to the cop shop but probably not charged with anything.

Just to cheer you all up; as of NOW (from midnight 31/12/05) you can be arrested for anything just like in the USA, so dropping a fag butt (yes really) can get you arrested. You may not like the copper that accosts you, but be civil even if they aren't!!
 
#6
Good sensible post and I hope every Arrser will take note and pay attention to it. I remember three years in a row within a week of having our drink-drive Christmas presentation by the CO/ADJ someone had been caught for drink-driving.

FFS don't these people listen? After having lost a friend in a drink-drive accident I will not even associate myself with someone (even when sober) that drink-drives. If you do do it you are a top class cnut!!
 
#7
I knew a fella, a Wedgehead, who after arguing with his missus after a Friday night in JHQ, decided to crash in his car. The Monkeys nicked him for DandD because he had the keys to the car on him. He only "got away with it" when the sentence went to the Brig for confirmation.

So just be aware that schlaffing in the car might be a prob too. Sort a Taxi, book a BandB but don't Drink and Drive. Because if you do, you are a cnut.
 
#8
I once took a fat lass to the pub and got on well with her... We had more than a few drinks during which she became more and more attractive until last orders came and I walked her home, then walked the 2 or 3 miles back to my own place. When I got there, I phoned her and told her I wanted to f*ck her, to which she replied she did too. I told her I'd see her in a few minutes and fetched my motorbike from the garage. 5 minutes later, and having dropped my bike 3 times on the way up my drive, I gave up and walked, but being sober by the time I got there, she was no longer pretty and I couldn't go through with it.

So you see, NOT drink driving/riding DOES pay off.
 
#10
devexwarrior said:
RFUK said:
I once took a fat lass to the pub
How many tales of woe have started thus?....
Don't know, most of mine start "I once met a fat lass IN a pub.." never had the courage to walk into a pub (and therefore in a relative state of sobriety) with one..
 
#12
A mate of mine went on the p1ss with some RUC coppers a few years ago. After about 15 pints, he tried to drive home and ended upside down in a hedge. Another RUC car was passing and helped him out- they realised he was a squaddie and took him back to the station to sleep it off. Next morning, they woke him up and said they wouldn;t press charges. Brilliant, says he, now if I can just have my pistol back, i'll be going. Pistol? says the Plod

They went back out, and found the pistol in the hedge. I don't think he mentioned it to his boss.
 
#13
SCoy said:
devexwarrior said:
RFUK said:
I once took a fat lass to the pub
How many tales of woe have started thus?....
Don't know, most of mine start "I once met a fat lass IN a pub.." never had the courage to walk into a pub (and therefore in a relative state of sobriety) with one..
Ahh, I should have been more specific. I met her on the internet and she said she looked like Renée Zellweger... So that's alright then 8)
 
#14
A quick but valid point - Why the f*ck does everyone start harping on about D+D at Christmas? There's the FA Cup/Carling Cup/Champions League/UEFA Cup/Championship play off Finals drinkathons, Summer Balls, countless BBQ's, Regi Dinners, Bonfire night, Leaving do's, mess meetings, pre/post exercise lager sessions - Why's Christmas the only time people go on about it, as if to say it's ok to do it for the rest of the year?
 
#16
Ohhh! Bollocks! Drinking and driving is one of the few pleasures left to men. You can't beat the buzz that you get from annoying the hunky dory, jackanory twats that infest this country when you battle down the road, skin tight and swerve. God Bless Tiny Tim.
 
#17
filthyphil said:
So this Christmas chaps, remember IF YOU DRINK AND DRIVE YOU MIGHT FCUK A FAT BIRD.
Worse than that, you don't realise you shagged a gipper, but you'll wake up with a hangover AND a monster next to you. (she may have a nice personality though)


for legal reasons please note the use of the word 'she' can be exchanged for 'he' depending on your preferences, state of drunkenness or level of desperation.
 
#18
the_matelot said:
EAGLE1 said:
Don't try to walk home as you may either get run over or fall asleep and die of the cold. I once peddled a bike twenty five miles in the dark without lights when piissed just for a shag. 'Stupid choice'
You, Sir, have my utmost respect!!!!!!
One fine night/morning whilst pi55ed up on Grolsh I went back with a German lass in a taxi to her home on a farm about 3 miles out of town. Got to her farm, taxi left, I tried it on, she fcucked me off. Determined to get laid I ran back into town in my shoes and disco gear at about 2 a.m. for a shot at another (any) bird but who wants a sweaty squaddie in that state with mud on his shoes at 2 a.m?!
 
#19
DON'T sleep in the car.

Being Drunk in charge of a vehicle doesnt mean you even have to have the keys. The fact that you can remove the handbrake and the car can roll along puts you "in charge of the vehicle".

BEWARE. Not all coppers are nice.
 
#20
arakan said:
Ohhh! balls! Drinking and driving is one of the few pleasures left to men. You can't beat the buzz that you get from annoying the hunky dory, jackanory **** that infest this country when you battle down the road, skin tight and swerve. God Bless Tiny Tim.
If that wasn't 'supposed' to be ironic than you are a spunkbubbling, waste of space, waste of orgasm, waste of honest oxygen, oafish, f*ckwitted, braindead, monged out, gerbil brained dullard of the first order whose only desired fate should be to meet a very large tree at high speed with your least vital organ (your head). Or possibly a HV round into the engine block and then summary execution in the nearest ditch.

Excuse me for being diplomatic. That fence is cutting into my arrse...
 

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