Christmas 2020 - CANCELLED

lextalionis

War Hero
'twas six nights before Christmas all through the land,
No one was moving, they were all on remand.
The scientists shook their heads, fretted with care
No one should of pleasure or normality to think or dare.

Boris' children were nestled all snug in their beds
Six (at least) had visions of daddy in their head;
Each one had a mamma different to the next
But daddy sent each a card inscribed, "To X".

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer.

The road to the sky had lain open before
But a sign stood there that said, "Covid Detour".
The reindeer were to be to quarantine confined
In the name of, "Safety, Easter's now Christmas, you won't mind."

With a fat old driver, so confused, such a prick,
I knew in a moment it could not be St. Nick.
Instead of him this fat old slob
Drunken and lecherous had got this job.

"Now you all listen, you naughty people now,
"It's my job to save you, so let's not row.
"Granny will not die while I'm on watch
"For responsibility is something I must dodge."

The old man was dressed in Nick's old gear
And Bojo ('twas he) tried to raise some cheer.
He put on the beard and a scarlet cape
And said, "Wahey, I'll decide your fate."

He was dressed all in faux-fur, from his head to his foot,
And his record was all tarnished, the incompetent ****;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

He'd come to bring his little orphans some cheer
By pretending he knew their pains and their names so dear.
He said, "Five days you'll be free to live your lives
"Just make sure that dear old granny survives."

He gave to the orphans that precious great gift
Of hope that their own and other spirits did lift.
They saw in the gloom the nightmares' ends
But he took back the gift with no promise to make mends.

"I am the powerful one, my little cherubs in bed,
"I get to decide if you will be living or dead.
"I do not know how to keep you alive
"How to make your lives happy, for I will never contrive.

"To do aught that I may be judged for or learn
"For ten thousand are my policies, ten thousand my u-turns.
"I hate lockdown, but love it, for is three not enough?
"Like Virgil, Odi et amo, I hate and I love.

"I make you this promise, it gives me pains yet again
"To end all your freedoms, to make you all train
"To learn to live without family or freedom or friends.
"It is for your own good, for this all tends
"To conquer THE VIRUS
"And thus it will end."

The virus, an enemy invisible yet proud,
Would never be gone, 'would ne'er be allowed.
He was too useful to defeat or ignore
And so Bojo tells us, "Just one lockdown more!"
 
Last edited:

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
'twas six nights before Christmas all through the land,
No one was moving, they were all on remand.
The scientists shook their heads, fretted with care
No one should of pleasure or normality to think or dare.

Boris' children were nestled all snug in their beds
Six (at least) had visions of daddy in their head;
Each one had a mamma different to the next
But daddy sent each a card inscribed, "To X".

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer.

The road to the sky had lain open before
But a sign stood there that said, "Covid Detour".
The reindeer were to be to quarantine confined
In the name of, "Safety, Easter's now Christmas, you won't mind."

With a fat old driver, so confused, such a prick,
I knew in a moment it could not be St. Nick.
Instead of him this fat old slob
Drunken and lecherous had got this job.

"Now you all listen, you naughty people now,
"It's my job to save you, so let's not row.
"Granny will not die while I'm on watch
"For responsibility is something I must dodge."

The old man was dressed in Nick's old gear
And Bojo ('twas he) tried to raise some cheer.
He put on the beard and a scarlet cape
And said, "Wahey, I'll decide your fate."

He was dressed all in faux-fur, from his head to his foot,
And his record was all tarnished, the incompetent ****;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

He'd come to bring his little orphans some cheer
By pretending he knew their pains and their names so dear.
He said, "Five days you'll be free to live your lives
"Just make sure that dear old granny survives."

He gave to the orphans that precious great gift
Of hope that their own and other spirits did lift.
They saw in the gloom the nightmares' ends
But he took back the gift with no promise to make mends.

"I am the powerful one, my little cherubs in bed,
"I get to decide if you will be living or dead.
"I do not know how to keep you alive
"How to make your lives happy, for I will never contrive.

"To do aught that I may be judged for or learn
"For ten thousand are my policies, ten thousand my u-turns.
"I hate lockdown, but love it, for is three not enough?
"Like Virgil, Odi et amo, I hate and I love.

"I make you this promise, it gives me pains yet again
"To end all your freedoms, to make you all train
"To learn to live without family or freedom or friends.
"It is for your own good, for this all tends
"To conquer THE VIRUS
"And thus it will end."

The virus, an enemy invisible yet proud,
Would never be gone, 'would ne'er be allowed.
He was too useful to defeat or ignore
And so Bojo tells us, "Just one lockdown more!"
What shite.
 
Seems there has been a mass exodus from London last night. Now, some would have booked to travel Saturday night anyway, in advance. So now 4 days' travelling squeezed into one night.
 

Niamac

GCM
b2ap3_large_last-helicopter-of-saigon.jpg
 
Seems there has been a mass exodus from London last night. Now, some would have booked to travel Saturday night anyway, in advance. So now 4 days' travelling squeezed into one night.
and how many of them will feel even a pang of guilty if aunty mabel who shielded in March and has managed to not catch Covid up to now is dead by Jan 2nd, or will it be the governments fault
 

Niamac

GCM
Christmas might be cancelled but Hogmanay is looking good.

A trailer full of whisky worth £200,000 was stolen from an industrial estate near Glasgow.
The red articulated trailer with white writing on the sides was stolen from Clydesmill Industrial Estate in Carmyle, at about 21.15 last Friday (11 December).
It contained 2,400 cases of Glenfiddich 12-year single malt Scotch whisky.
The empty trailer was found on Whistleberry Road, Blantyre, at 10:00 on Tuesday.
Det Sgt Stephen Greenshields said: "I am keen to speak to anyone who has seen this trailer since it was stolen on Friday 11 December until the empty trailer was recovered in Blantyre on Tuesday, 15 December.
"I'd also like to speak to anyone who has been approached and offered to buy any of this type of whisky at a considerably reduced price and where the seller has no proof of purchase or ownership."
 

Old Stab

LE
Book Reviewer
IMHO it should have been done weeks ago.
Total lockdown, no half measures.
Hospitals are already being overwhelmed, staff catching Covid or having to isolate is exacerbating the situation.
But, the Government are damned if they do, and damned if they don't. The finger of blame will be pointed no matter what course of action they take.
 

endure

GCM
Seems there has been a mass exodus from London last night. Now, some would have booked to travel Saturday night anyway, in advance. So now 4 days' travelling squeezed into one night.
This silly bitch goes on to blame everybody else but herself from getting on the train. She's off to see her elderly mum FFS...

stupid.JPG
 
Are all those clowns travelling on the trains traceable through their tickets? Send them a BFO fine for breaking the social distancing rules if they travelled after the warning tannoys.
 
IMHO it should have been done weeks ago.
Total lockdown, no half measures.
Hospitals are already being overwhelmed, staff catching Covid or having to isolate is exacerbating the situation.
But, the Government are damned if they do, and damned if they don't. The finger of blame will be pointed no matter what course of action they take.
The problem has been there since Boris put the country into its first lockdown back in March. Since then, there has been a significant minority of the population that has blatantly ignored and flouted the guidance. Relying on the goodwill and 100% ‘buy in’ of the population was always pie in the sky. Behaviour in Supermarkets being a prime example.
 
This time ~350 years ago:

EY7vPJ5XYAAqj6i.jpg


and:

EcEX_NbWsAImGM6.jpg
 

DSJ

LE
Christmas might be cancelled but Hogmanay is looking good.

A trailer full of whisky worth £200,000 was stolen from an industrial estate near Glasgow.
The red articulated trailer with white writing on the sides was stolen from Clydesmill Industrial Estate in Carmyle, at about 21.15 last Friday (11 December).
It contained 2,400 cases of Glenfiddich 12-year single malt Scotch whisky.
The empty trailer was found on Whistleberry Road, Blantyre, at 10:00 on Tuesday.
Det Sgt Stephen Greenshields said: "I am keen to speak to anyone who has seen this trailer since it was stolen on Friday 11 December until the empty trailer was recovered in Blantyre on Tuesday, 15 December.
"I'd also like to speak to anyone who has been approached and offered to buy any of this type of whisky at a considerably reduced price and where the seller has no proof of purchase or ownership."

Ugh. Glenfiddich.
 

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