Chortle of the Day.

FORMER_FYRDMAN

LE
Book Reviewer
It will be better when air travel goes back to being too expensive for chav idiots. In the meantime, why don’t airports breathalyse passengers in departures- any over a specified limit get a largish fine- say £2000, to be paid immediately on pain of not being allowed to proceed.
Because some of us can drink our own bodyweight in Business Class without feeling a need to endanger the plane.
 

Gout Man

LE
Book Reviewer
Because airports don't make money from processing passengers, but by sales of alcohol, and car-parking fees.
Well the airlines should stop them from boarding.
Joking aside these drunks are a danger to everyone on board. Wait until someone does open a door then action will be taken, alas it will be too late for some.
 

FORMER_FYRDMAN

LE
Book Reviewer
I think scrambling the RAF was massive overkill and resulted primarily from 'box-ticking' and requirement to conform to a not very dynamic checklist.

Instagram-social meedya type trout-pout bird gets drunk and kicks off on a full flight of able-bodied adults.
A quick punch in the snout off anybody would have negated any risk to the flight.

@Toastie What's your opinion please?
Don’t know the full circumstances but it’s possible she “demanded to speak to the pilot” and attempted to access the Flight Deck. This is taken very seriously as the drunken antics could be a front and we don’t have much discretion in that area. Deliberately vague for obvious reasons.

Speaking as a taxpayer, can one of our resident aviators explain why it needed two Typhoons to escort a planeload of tourists back to Stanstead?
See above. Alternatively it may have been considered that a JDAM or whatever was the only means of S her TFU.

I don’t know him very well but I think he would.
2 legs? Check
Pulse, or at least still warm? Check.

Have it washed and brought to my tent.

A friend of mine - ex-RAF Phantom driver, then an airline pilot, I won't say which - told me with some glee a few years ago about booting off some of those quaint travelling folk who'd had more than a few.

As he put it, "I'm the captain of this aircraft and I have full authority to order you off this aircraft. By doing so, I not only forbid you to be on this aircraft. I forbid you to fly. You're in Spain. You now face an overland journey across Europe to the Channel Ports, and from there across to the UK and then home. This is all because you have got drunk and refuse to behave."

I had a bit of a titter.
Done it many times. Has more effect in Jamaica or on a Greek Island and you’re the last flight of the season outbound. Done both. Your mate, Tony G or Jim H? Only two Phantom jocks I can remember of my acquaintance.

Is it actually possible to open a door in mid-air? This chap thinks not:

No it’s not. Doors are of the plug type. The pressure inside the aircraft is higher than that outside so the door is forced into the plug. Same principle to why it’s difficult to pull a bath plug out when the bath is full of water.

The typical differential pressure is about 8 psi so over a 6’x3’ door that’s 2592 square inches with 8 lbs pushing on each sq in, 10 tons give or take.

Well the airlines should stop them from boarding.
Joking aside these drunks are a danger to everyone on board. Wait until someone does open a door then action will be taken, alas it will be too late for some.
See above. They are a danger though as drunk people do drunk things like lash out, sometimes with bottles etc. At the very best they’re unpleasant company and it’s not like you can get away from them.

As for airlines stopping them boarding, it’s often not the airline staff that control the boarding process and it’s very definitely my experience that many gate agents will try and get people on because then they’re someone else’s problem. I caught one red handed. The dimwit didn’t realise I was standing behind her when she gave a drunken fuckwit advice on how to conceal the fact they were pissed. The fuckwit came home by bus I assume and the other fuckwit made their way to the job centre.
 
A friend of mine - ex-RAF Phantom driver, then an airline pilot, I won't say which - told me with some glee a few years ago about booting off some of those quaint travelling folk who'd had more than a few.

As he put it, "I'm the captain of this aircraft and I have full authority to order you off this aircraft. By doing so, I not only forbid you to be on this aircraft. I forbid you to fly. You're in Spain. You now face an overland journey across Europe to the Channel Ports, and from there across to the UK and then home. This is all because you have got drunk and refuse to behave."

I had a bit of a titter.
Good drills
 
Wot happens if she can't pay ? Do we top slice her salary/social ?
Wonder if a good birching wouldn't suffice.
Nowt like a bit of aversion therapy.
 

FORMER_FYRDMAN

LE
Book Reviewer
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