Chopper hook up drills

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by jaybee2786, Sep 28, 2008.

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  1. After watching the F1 pit crews, got me thinking about my days working with HELO'S, and getting crows/sprogs to unhook under slung loads from chinooks without earthing the hook and then watching the daft cnuts being thrown across the pad, oh how one laughs when you think back, anyone else have any stories about working with copters
  2. No but I've worked with a few choppers in my time
  3. Sgt Jack E------- many moons ago giving demo about sliding down wee ropes from a helo.....(we didnt have gloves in those days) Famous last words and I quote

    Whatever the fuck you do if you feel youve lost it let go. Broken legs is less painful then trying to grab the rope back. Yes Sarge.

    Anyway onto the practical demo....gets his knickers ( and knackers) in a twist....lets go then hooks back on. We tittered but not loudly, poor bastard ripped his hands almost down to the bone in places.
  4. Does The_Snail know about this? :D
  5. We talking just ARMY here lol
  6. Not really hook up drills, more like falling out drills.

    Remember doing some fast rope training with the rockapes. The young, gobby officer in charge would not listen to any advice either I or my dispatcher was giving prior to taking off. Seems his chaps thought he was a chod too. Once we'd got to the correct hover height, he was the first out. Trouble was, he forgot to grab the rope and just sort of used his face to decend. It was too late for the dispatcher to stop the rest as they had already launched by the time he'd bounced. As I looked down to him, he looked like a swastika with all his lads just pointing and laughing at him. Broken leg, broken arm, crushed ribs, broken nose, a big rope shaped groove down his face and a very squashed ego.
  7. looked like a swazstika haha awesome . ;)
  8. Was doing some free-fall sport training with some members of 2 Para and a lad from 63 Sqn. over the Maze in the period before it became the nick. It was a Wessex. I climbed out the door to stand on the wheel, holding onto the wheel strut. I forgot to brief the 'loadie' to inform the pilot to put on the wheel brakes. Found myself running like a hamster on the fecking wheel. I recall looking at the pilot whose eyes were out on stalkes, before I was flung into f/fall oblivion. Never made that mistake again.
  9. A helicast on a dark and rainy night over the Ginkelse heide near Arnhem. New pilot and new loadmaster are being thought by insturctor pilot and instructor loady. We are instructional aides.

    We get thumbs up, so we start ambling down the inside of the Chinook looking like so many DPM' ed pinguins with bergens on. First man gets to the ramp and looks at the trainee LM. Then looks down and hesitates. The man behind him doesn't notice and pushes on. Both disappear down the ramp. The rest of us, having seen the first two men exit, follow suit. Not stopped by the green loady who is now talking (through intercom, so we can't hear over the noise and through earplugs) to his instructor. Half the load had fallen painfully between 16 and 20 feet before they managed to stop our suicidal procession.

    I was the last one out... Only hurt my arrse and my ego, but some others hurt their backs, anckles and wrists.

    Oh yeah: The MAOT guys on the ground (using NVG's) had a blast on our account!
  10. No so much a story about an incident in a cab, more about being caught out by one.

    I was looking after one of the AAC Command posts in BATUS and for some reason went off on my own in a rover, I forget why, but probably to have a dhoby. I found myself on top of a hill, views of nothing for miles and miles, sun beating down and not a mil vehicle, squaddie, gopher or DERA three headed monkey for miles.

    I opted to take full advantage of this, got bollocky and clambered on top of the wagon, draped myself across the camnet made like a starfish and pumped my rod for all it was worth.

    From nowhere, just as seed was flooding to my dome 5A....... OC BATUS flight in his shiney Gazelle appeared above me, my boner went limp in an instant.
  11. Never mind MDN I doubt his eyesight was that good. ;)
  12. Knocked one out during a boring stint in that short-arrsed control tower at BATUS, and judging from the smell I wasn't the first. Nobody caught me! :)
  13. On exercise in Salisbury. Much to my amasement it seemed like some money had been spent on this one and we had all kinds. Most notable of the kit though was the two heliwopters (Pumas or sea kings maybe) that ferried us about here and there.


    I'm onboard grinning like a Cheshire cat and playing "Fortunate Son" in my head as we are rolling around in the back of one of them at night. THe brief was that delta FT (me) were going to get out on the first stop then Charlie on the second, then procee to a grid outside Cope Hill down to act as "local militia" - After the lads from Recce had been dropped off - :roll:

    The Helicopter lands and caught up in my very own Vietnam war movie I was out the door straight away and into the prone by a nearby fence. The lads got their kit off and counted in (Bergans off the Chopper - Not the Full Monty).

    "1" - "2" - "3" - "4"............... Hang on a min - I'm number 4.

    "Who the fcuk are you" says the Recce Section Commander

    "Kgn C_J"

    "What the fcuk are you doing here, get back on the heli you t1t"

    So I did after arguing the toss that WE were getting off first.

    Now back on the Heli I waited for about a min for a dig off my section 2ic for being a biff however it didn't come. So I decided to show my best "I fcuked up" face to my mucca and hope it earned me nothing more than shake of the head.

    I'd only got back on the wrong fcuking chopper.

    My argument.

    1. Buy fcuking lights
    2. Handcuff sprogs to someone senior
    3. Land choppers further apart.
  14. South Armagh 1997,my fat knacker of a mutiple commander just about to jump out of a sea king at f*uck knows how many 100 ft in the pitch black,shouting at us to move our arses.
    Then watching the RN loady dragging him away from the door screaming at him,the fat dick.
  15. Relating to the original theme of this thread; Ferrari refuelling feck ups.

    When we first got the Mk9 Lynx (the one with wheels), we'd taken on the newish role with 24 Air Mobile Bde in the err airmobile role. We were fairly new to the whole 'lots of aircraft taking off and landing at the same time' thing to move troops around. Anyway, one night whilst practising NVG FARP drills, we had a bit of a mishap.

    Picture the scene; Lots of Mk9s are out and about dropping 24 Airmobile Bde around Catterick. Mk9s all arrive back at the FARP at the same time to refuel. As you can imagine, its quite a chaotic environment moreso at night. Lines of bowsers waiting to rotors running refuel the cabs and get them on their way as quickly as possible. The OC was very keen on ensuring everything went without a hitch due to him being in the lime light as it was one of the first excercises of this nature. In fact, I'm sure he was ripping people new arseholes for not sparking. Anyway, a wave of Mk9s arrive at the FARP, refuelers jump to their task like a formula 1 pit crew. Unfortunately, whoever the 'lollipop man' was gave the wrong signal to the crew that all was complete. Result = 1 x Lynx Mk9 trying to undersling a bowser across Catterick Trg Area. Who was flying? Yep, the OC. :oops:

    As you can imagine, the SOPs got quckly rewritten the next day.