Chinese Parliament

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by Cuddles, Apr 19, 2010.

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  1. Right. Tomorrow I will officially be up to hi-do with the flying, no-flying bollocks. To an extent the wonders of 3G cards means I can work as effectively (ish) here in Bavaria as I could in Wales.

    However there is then all of the other factors - not least being I work to live, not live to work.

    So if my old mucker Colin and the boys at NATS say no-go for tomorrow's aircraft...what options remain.

    - every hire car in eastern Europe is parked up on the docks of Calais.
    - Eurostar is fully booked until Sunday.
    - I've decided no to build a glider out of loo-rolls and papier mache

    - snail rail to Calais, ferry on foot then snail rail to LHR where the Cuddlesmobile is sat waiting its release.
    - erm...that's all I've got so far

    Does anybody have any constructive - or I will accept genuinely funny alternatives! - suggestions or know something about the European transport plot that I am missing out on?

    It's either help free the Munich 1 - or I'll soon be climbing into women's bedrooms and not just peering in through them! :twisted:
  2. Alsacien

    Alsacien LE Moderator

    Train to Hamburg is quick, then: Hamburg - Harwich as a foot passenger.

    Personnally I am amazed Wales has a mobile network - stay in Bayern, the weather looks good here for the week :D
  3. Bouillabaisse

    Bouillabaisse LE Book Reviewer

    Buy a ride in a truck heading to the coast (A ride for a ride), then down the docks and do favours for sailors in return for a trip over the Channel
  4. Keep looking out of the window.Your filthy scutter of a neighbour may put on another performance for you.
  5. You could end up like that bird who was caught as a stowaway on the IOW ferry. When asked why she did it she replied that the ships engineer told her the ship was going to America and she could share his cabin. Apocryphal? Probably.
  6. Alsacien

    Alsacien LE Moderator

  7. Sixty

    Sixty LE Moderator Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Cyclists and Triathletes

    Right. The film I watched last night would appear to suggest a multitude of options. Pick one of these:

    1. Steal a rowing boat and set off down the Elbe until you chance upon a Swedish freighter. Straight up the ladder, identify yourself as an escaped British airman and you’ll be back in Blighty in time for tea and medals.

    2. Bicycle the length of Germany and France until you reach the Spanish border. Affect an appalling Australian accent throughout. Avoid open-air cafeterias.

    3. Steal an aeroplane. If I’m honest, this method was only partially successful but the chap brought it on himself by teaming up with a blind bloke as a co-pilot.

    4. Steal a motorcycle and make it to the Swiss border in 20 minutes flat. Avoid barbed wire.
  8. Yep - thats one way

    Or overnight train (Nachtzug) to Brussells then get the Eurostar from there

    or once at Brussells look at Antwerp and Zeebrugge for crossings

    The European train service is pretty joined up
  9. Alsacien

    Alsacien LE Moderator

    Just been told by a colleague Esbjerg to Harwich works...
  10. Bouillabaisse

    Bouillabaisse LE Book Reviewer

    make sure you get a cabin. It's a long trip that one.
  11. Thought about buying a horse, ride it to Calais and then get your money back by selling it to a frog for his Sunday lunch.
  12. Just cling to the underside of a 38 tonner like everyone else. Lose your passport and you might even get a council house.

    On a serious note I'd think an ICE train to Hamburg, or and ICE and snail train to Rotterdam or Oostende may be the best bet.
  13. Why not say bollocks to the lot and take 2 weeks holiday in Europe. Should have blown over by then. Oops, no pun intended.
  14. Cuddles, forget about railways - every seat in Europe was fully booked when I tried in Copenhagen on Saturday. The best option is to Google something like 'Private coach companies', destinations' and 'spare seats'. Alternatively, ring G.H. Watts coaches (who brought me back from Denmark on Saturday) on 0116 287 4037, I know they are doing a run to Geneva this week and will maybe have some spare seats.
  15. Look, mate. You can't expect the Chinese parliament to bail you out. They've got enough on their hands with earthquakes knocking down houses, and Uighur pikeys kicking off.

    You'll just have to take a number, like everyone else.*

    *No.94 Chicken and noodles in black bean sauce.