Chineese eye test.

SOLSTICE

Old-Salt
If you cannot read this, pull the corner of your eyes and then try and read it.

It works.

 
I'd rather pull your arms away from your body. Have you ever eaten a split link's back box out?
 
You sod my contact lens has fallen out now!
 
what number does he have, solly live at ???
 
how old????
 

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