Chimpy & chimpy.

#1
I understand that if they find weed in my system during the drugs test they wont let me in teh army cos it's ilegal. But if I go to Amsterdam ... where it's legal to smoke it ... and then come back for me p1ss test, if I explain that the weed they find in me p1ss is from when I went to Amsterdam (where it's LEGAL) will they be ok with that?


If not I'll just put a tube of me mate's p1ss in me pocket and take it to the medical and pour that into the container and give the doctor me mate's p1ss instead.
 
#3
yes but you will need to drinck 4 liters of Lidl apple juice and eat some organic cheese shilton is teh best first that will defo work cos thy always serch your pockuts for pee tubes attched too a bottle in a holster under your coat.
 
#5
Noobs. They ask u 2 fill it up in teh bogs dont they. So I take me mates p1ss out and tip it into the tube they give to me. they dnt just stand their and watch you p1ss in a tube.

Anyway, i just realised, this is a bad idea because me mate smokes crack. But its ok, i ave another mate who is clean. ill take his p1ss instead.
 
#9
Chimpy I think I can see a bright future ahead for you in the QGR.

Can you roll a five skinner in the dark when it's p1ssing down?

T_T
 
#10
Chimpy said:
Yeah his name is Domonic Santiago. I sprinke Es into his cat food sometimes. I do it to stop him killing teh mice.
lol you shoud put on some DJ slipmat bang hardcore teh cat will large it up 8)
 
#11
To the hole please?

What a nonsensical, drugged-up, mistyped piece of dog-faeces this is.

Shame on you.
 
#12
Lucky_Jim said:
To the hole please?

What a nonsensical, drugged-up, mistyped piece of dog-faeces this is.

Shame on you.
Seconded.

Chimpy my thoughts are that you won't even get through the doors of the ACIO. Let alone any further.
 
#13
Chimpy

Can you do us all a favour and drop dead you throbber. Like Frankie said, you would not even make it through the front door of the ACIO you drugged up CHAV.

The Army/Infantry dont need SCUM like you.

You are a class 1 THROBBER.
 
#14
BB51 said:
Chimpy

Can you do us all a favour and drop dead you throbber. Like Frankie said, you would not even make it through the front door of the ACIO you drugged up CHAV.

The Army/Infantry dont need SCUM like you.

You are a class 1 THROBBER.
Don't kill him off, reading Chimpy's previous posts have cheered me up this morning! :D

I won't ask which arrser is wah baiting, I'm just enjoying the hilarity!
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#15
I fink dis ho got sum gd ideas dough yeah? Hes finkin on dem feet innit? izz m8 hoo dont do no sh!t, well ee must B cleen yeah, soz why not borrow and den drink izz p!ss so dat he izz clene when ee dus de test yeaaaah? He might smell a bit dough on izz breff, but least hee willnot get chucked aaaart willeeee?

Edited to add: aarggh dyaa spell WAAHHHH?
 
#16
No, not the Arrsehole.

But the Infantry god that is the Dogmonkey I imagine would be most underchuffed about Jazz Woodbine speKINgz in this hallowed forum.

Moving to Naafi Bar.

Halo - you slay me :D
 
#18
oh dear chimpy
This has got to be a wahh!!!
However if not you really need to get your facts right, don't you?
firstly cannabis - the correct spelling - contains something called THC's which as any self respecting member of the british army will tell you stays in your system for 30 days plus.
Also it's all very well and good you taking quote "clean p1ss" in with you, but prey tell how do you intend on dispensing said contents without the invidulator (c0ck watcher) seeing it.
Lastly, if you are intending on taking the afore mentioned class c substance are you sure that a career in the military is right for you as the army has got a zero tollerance policy towards drugs... Think about it
chin chin :)
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#19
To put it bluntly, if you think that drugs are OK, stay the fcuk away from the army - you are not wanted. w@nker.
 
#20
Stay away from the weed. It's no good for you.

You need to start getting on the cocaine, heroin, E's and PCP, which gets out of your system over a weekend, much safer to use.
 

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