Chimp attempted to rape zoo keeper

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Raven2008, May 8, 2009.

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  1. So any moment now the government will ban the handling of bananas without a license and male chimpanzees to outlawed.
  2. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Yeah, sure, the ape tried to rape the bloke. That's what HE said, and everything MDN says is true. :twisted:
  3. Reminds me of the bloke who took his missus to the Zoo in her slinkies, made her taunt and tease the Gorilla until it was in an absolute sexual frenzy and sporting the worlds biggest boner.

    He then pushed his lass into the cage and as she screamed at him to save her, he shouted over 'Try telling that tw*t you've got a headache'.
  4. I dont know about the chimp attack being sexual, but a mature male Chimpanzee is the most dangerous animal in captiviy, he has a brain to think with , hands to grab you with, powerful jaws he likes raw freshmeat is much as fruit, he is the perfect mimic and has the ability to make and use primitive tools or weapons. forget your average gorilla or orangutan they have the mental ability of a carrot :lol: have experienced many escapades with chimps in my career, in the 70,s was asked to supply a baby chimp from our zoo for a Sportschau episode in germany , to appear alongside Johnny Weissmuller and his wife , it was a live broadcast, halfway through the chimp ripped the long blonde wig off johnnies wifes head and legged it, red faces alround, but just one of many stories
  5. There was a biologist on Richard Dawkins programme the other month there. He was bleating on about evolution and monkies being so closely related to humans.

    "Are you saying that...?" Dawkins couldn't finish the disgusting sentence.

    "Yes, I am sayin that ...." The embarassed biologist said.

    Imagine that! Half man half monkey, born because daddy raped mummy! Phuck me, I wouldn't fancy his chances in the school play yard. Still, could be worse. You could have a down syndrome.
  6. or ginger, keep them orang utans away from our women
  7. The chimp wasn't attempting rape.

    He was just monkeying around.
  8. Gives 'spank the monkey' a whole new meaning!!
  9. Also to add that there's one of my favourite metal bands, Skid Row did a song called "Monkey Business" in their Slave to the Grind album.

    Best thing to listen to on long journeys.
  10. Looks like that chimp was banana's for her *snigger* He went absolutely ape *chortle* the zookeepers definately shouldn't tolerate any monkey business *guffaw* etc...
  11. Thougt this was a story about military coppers again.
  12. Did he have a hoop like a baboons afterwards,or was it just an oral violation?
  13. I thought this was a story about a frisky PCSO for a moment (I have a habit of referring to PCSOs as 'Chimps').