Chilli sausage

[snothead]

Kind of need advice, 999 is my next option.
I broke up some very hot chillis for my stir-fry with my hands.
I went to strangle the snake and now my dangly bits are burning like hell.
Any soothing tips or do I just ride out the storm?
It's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad

 

[Sparky2339]

Mild shower not a hot shower.

Don't stand outside in the wind thinking it'll blow away like you've just left the gas chamber - it won't.

Lesson learned eh??

 

[CityBanker]

I'll sing you a song
About my favourite spice
It's very hot and it's also nice
And if I sing the punchline, you'll get it

It's recommended to understand
That boys should always wash their hands
Between chopping it
And going to the toilet

... Jalapeno

(Sung to the tune of "Hallelujah")

 

[snothead]

Nope, done it twice so far. I don't know what's wrong with me! I picked my nose too. It's going to be a bad night.

 

[Sparky2339]

Coconut milk may cool down the stir fry or some double cream.

Try Calamine lotion. Oh and with your finger write "idiot" on your forehead.

Oh you could also try the lotion on your burning bell end.

If that fails I suggest Windolene.

Couldn't make it any worse could it???

 

[Sparky2339]

If you're Int Corps by the way, I suggest a change of career....

Phone the cook house and explain the situation, and ask for their help.

They will be able to do nothing for you, but you will brighten their day

 

[Carcass]

Butter. Be sure to massage in vigourously

 

[Sparky2339]

If it's really hot then something like that 'Fiery Jack' cream will feel cooler than the offending throbbing penis and should indeed have a cooling effect.

Good Gawd Jarrod!!!! Do they still make that stuff!!!????

 

[FourZeroCharlie]

Good God. You had a chilli-based stir fry and then decided to toss one off all by 1612?????

I'm impressed.

 

[Legs]

Chop it off and put it in the freezer. That'll cool it down.

 

[B_AND_T]

Chop it off and put it in the freezer. That'll cool it down.

That comment could lead to so many different questions Legs!

 

[Detonator]

Chop it off and put it in the freezer. That'll cool it down.

That comment could lead to so many different questions Legs!

Beaten to that one B_AND_T.

 

[Legs]

Chop it off and put it in the freezer. That'll cool it down.

That comment could lead to so many different questions Legs!

No! Really?

 

[Bound_Apprentice]

Stick your dick in some milk, then go upstairs and take a very hot shower. When you get out of the shower draw a great big prick on your mirror in the condensation.

Every morning when you get out of the shower you will be able to smile knowingly to yourself about today's unfortunate events!

Just don't invite your puritanical in-laws to house-sit in the future!

 

[rabid_hamster]

had a mate who got dave's insanity sauce up his nose ... fuk did we laugh!

Ironically his name was dave!

 

[saintstone]

[qoute="snothead]Kind of need advice, 999 is my next option.
I broke up some very hot chillis for my stir-fry with my hands.
I went to strangle the snake and now my dangly bits are burning like hell.
Any soothing tips or do I just ride out the storm?
It's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad[/quote]



[quote="Sparky2339"]If you're Int Corps by the way, I suggest a change of career....

Phone the cook house and explain the situation, and ask for their help.

They will be able to do nothing for you, but you will brighten their day [/quote]

As a former fitter/turner, it deffo brightened up my day HAHAHAHA In future, leave the technical stuff to the professionals

 

[CRmeansCeilingReached]

believe it or not, rubbing in vodka works for chilli burns.

whether you want to waste it in this fashion is entirely up to you.

 

[Markintime]

If it's really hot then something like that 'Fiery Jack' cream will feel cooler than the offending throbbing penis and should indeed have a cooling effect.

Good Gawd Jarrod!!!! Do they still make that stuff!!!????

I believe it's still made in Knaresborough North Yorkshire.

Anorak or what?

As for a cure? Use Joghurt smeer it on to take the sting away then give your willy and your hands a good wash in warm soapy water and FFS KEEP YOUR FINGERS AWAY FROM YOUR EYES.

 

[snothead]

Thanks for the advice.
Unfortunately I continued to burn my bits throughout the night even after washing my hands.
It's only now that I realise I may have some addiction issues.

 

[salforddude]

rubbing your hands with the inside of a lemon gets it off your hands, so would probably work on your throbbing member. It would sting a bit, but not as much as chilli! It worked on my girlfriend when I was about 17. The last time I did anything so dumb.