Chilli sausage

Kind of need advice, 999 is my next option.
I broke up some very hot chillis for my stir-fry with my hands.
I went to strangle the snake and now my dangly bits are burning like hell.
Any soothing tips or do I just ride out the storm?
It's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad

 

Mild shower not a hot shower.

Don't stand outside in the wind thinking it'll blow away like you've just left the gas chamber - it won't.

Lesson learned eh??

 

I'll sing you a song
About my favourite spice
It's very hot and it's also nice
And if I sing the punchline, you'll get it

It's recommended to understand
That boys should always wash their hands
Between chopping it
And going to the toilet

... Jalapeno

(Sung to the tune of "Hallelujah")

 

Nope, done it twice so far. I don't know what's wrong with me! I picked my nose too. It's going to be a bad night.

 

Try Calamine lotion. Oh and with your finger write "idiot" on your forehead.

Oh you could also try the lotion on your burning bell end.

If that fails I suggest Windolene.

Couldn't make it any worse could it???

 

If you're Int Corps by the way, I suggest a change of career....

Phone the cook house and explain the situation, and ask for their help.

They will be able to do nothing for you, but you will brighten their day

 

Butter. Be sure to massage in vigourously

 

Good Gawd Jarrod!!!! Do they still make that stuff!!!????

 

Good God. You had a chilli-based stir fry and then decided to toss one off all by 1612?????

I'm impressed.

 

Chop it off and put it in the freezer. That'll cool it down.

 

That comment could lead to so many different questions Legs!

 

Beaten to that one B_AND_T.

 

No! Really?

 

Stick your dick in some milk, then go upstairs and take a very hot shower. When you get out of the shower draw a great big prick on your mirror in the condensation.

Every morning when you get out of the shower you will be able to smile knowingly to yourself about today's unfortunate events!

Just don't invite your puritanical in-laws to house-sit in the future!

 

had a mate who got dave's insanity sauce up his nose ... fuk did we laugh!

Ironically his name was dave!