Chilli Sauces

"A mild smokey chili with complex layers" said the menu at an eatery in Utah.

The only layers were of pain and going deathly pale, bright red, green then back to deathly pale again.
I use a mix of mozzarella, cheddar and chili chutney for the stuffing. Cocktail chipolata on top then wrap in bacon. They're bite size and bloody addictive so prep takes me 30 minutes and smash the lot down in three. I have no self control around chilis.
The last place I was at in Mexico had these in the health food section of the buffet, I thought, "Is this a great country or what?" The ring burn the next morning was epic.
Does anyone make their own? Tried it a few times from scratch with varied results. Would like to see any recipes from Arrsers.
Although I say so myself, this is a fine recipe. Take a selection of the hottest chillies you can find, chop them up. Do not discard the seeds. Only wimps do that. Fry them gently in a good puddle of rape oil. The object is to flavour the oil not to fry the chillies to a crisp. You are then left with an incredibly concentrated amount of oil. Dilute to taste with more oil. As a guide, this should more than adequately flavour a couple of pints suitable for everyday use. It depends how hot you like it. Basically, dilute to taste (And keep diluting!). If you can't be bothered Morrisons do some liquid thermite which they sell as Ghost Chilli Sauce. £1 a bottle.
Thought you mental chilli enthusiasts might enjoy this oldie.

“Recently, I was honoured to be selected as a judge at a chilli cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table, asking for directions to the Beer Tent, when the call came in… I was assured by the other two judges (Native New Mexicans) that the chilli wouldn’t be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3.”

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

Judge # 1
— A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 — Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 — Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that’s the worst one. These New Mexicans are crazy.

Judge # 1
— Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 — Exciting BBQflavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 — Keep this out of the reach of children. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

Judge # 1
— Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Judge # 2 — A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 — Call the EPA. I’ve located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I’m getting red-faced from all of the beer.

Judge # 1
— Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 — Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chilli.
Judge # 3 — I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. Woman is starting to look HOT … Just like this nuclear waste I’m eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

Judge # 1
— Meaty, strong chili. Jalapeno peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 — Chilli using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the jalapeno peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 — My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chilli had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I’m burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.

Judge # 1
— Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 — The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 — My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I’m worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can’t feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

Judge # 1
— A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 — Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 — You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn’t feel a thing. I’ve lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they’ll know what killed me. I’ve decided to stop breathing. It’s too painful. I’m not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I’ll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

Judge # 1
— The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 — This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he’s going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he’d have reacted to really hot chili?
Judge # 3 — No report.
Looks plain nasty. Hardly worth cocking up your scran with it. More like something you'd give to your mates when you're all pissed to see who has the lowest IQ.

Tabasco is a nice middle of the road all rounder. Nali for flavour. Not a fan of Nando's but their early work was good before they began diluting their sauces with thickening agents and other shit to stretch it out. Got a two litre bottle of peri peri at home. Great flavour and a fair bit of oil settles on top which I skim off and use in salad dressings, on chips, eggs, toasties and for spiking pasta aglio olio. The chili component itself is tasty with a good kick. Utterly droolworthy with mac and cheese and makes killer peri peri chook livers.
I am a big fan of chilli sauces - not really into ones that blow your head off, more like ones that add genuine flavour to a dish.

Enjoy this one on day to day items:

Also a huuuuuuuuuuuge fan of garlic - anyone know any good garlic or chilli+garlic sauces?
One of the staples at my last place of employment was Chakalaka pili-pili sauce, which is ver' nice. Nando's make it there, and import to the UK.
Ghost Chilli sauce is good and available on amazon or was a xmas as bought a mate some.
I am a big fan of chilli sauces - not really into ones that blow your head off, more like ones that add genuine flavour to a dish.

Enjoy this one on day to day items:

Also a huuuuuuuuuuuge fan of garlic - anyone know any good garlic or chilli+garlic sauces?
Maggi do a good chili and garlic sauce. Not too strong but very tasty.

Forgot to add, the big bottle of chili sauce mentioned in post #111 is also useful for marinading chicken fillets. Add to your usual peri peri marinade with garlic and lemon. Lush!

Even better if you shove the grilled peri peri chook breast in a pita with a green salad, dab of mayo and a good slosh of the peri peri sauce. Breakfast of champions.
I am a big fan of chilli sauces - not really into ones that blow your head off, more like ones that add genuine flavour to a dish.

Enjoy this one on day to day items:

Also a huuuuuuuuuuuge fan of garlic - anyone know any good garlic or chilli+garlic sauces?
Yes, Cholula do a garlic one that I like, has some heat but not to a painful level

I don't really find that Cholula one garlicky enough
The only really vampire repelling sauces I can think of having are invariably sweet, dipping sauces.
I'd be interested in a decent, hot but not too hurty garlicky chilli sauce too.
Pretty mild but very tasty. I can go through half a bottle with a good mac and cheese.

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