Children's names, that should never be used!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by shootingbates, Jul 28, 2010.

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  1. As the title suggests, names you should never call children:
    Note: these can be general or gender specific.

    I shall start:


    (Girl) Terry
    (Boy) Leslie
  2. apparently calling them fuckwit and mong doesn't go down too well, so my lads headteacher informs me!!
  3. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    When I got posted to a famous Jock Bn, I spent the first 3 months thinking that the kids were all called "Yer wee bastard ye!
  4. So your son is Master Bates? Thats just cruel.
  5. When I first moved to Jockland I thought all the kids were called Wayne and wondered why they kept calling me Ken..........
  6. The book "Freakonomics", well worth a read for lots of reasons, reports an American kid named shuh-TEED (spelt Shithead) and twins called OrangeJello and LemonJello, which makes me think that old French law listing permissible names wasn't such a bad idea after all.
  7. Hahaha tears are running down my face vanman I know one....don't think they've ever used the title 'Master' unless they book a holiday, bet he can't wait til he's classed as an adult.
  8. Chlamydia Smith, was one I heard, gen, the chav Mum said she thought it sounded nice and exotic, wot a twatette.
  9. Fuck off, that didn't happen now did it? ALL chav's are familiar with Chlamydia!
  10. I went to school in the States for a year when I was 17 and got introduced to a lad called Randy. He couldn't understand why I nearly pissed myself laughing when he told me his last name.... Muchmore...

    Oh, and my daughter's mate has a little brother called Blade, surname Rimmer. A little too close to a certain Ridley Scott film for comfort methinks.
  11. Sure they weren't calling you Wayne Kerr?
  12. I used to know a nurse named Candida. She used to have a snit if anybody shortened it to candy as well!
  13. Duane Pipe. I kid you not and the mother could not see why everybody looked a bit uncertain when she revealed her choice of name!
  14. Fang_Farrier

    Fang_Farrier LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Did know a couple of students at university
    Alec and Peter Ness.
    Their parents were doctors so should have known what they doing, apparently school was just one long laugh for them!
  15. Steven Paul. Pronounced in my dialect it literally means stiff pole i.e a hard-on.