Children...don't you just love the little f......

#1
The Fenianette, who is just 8, tried to kick off a tantrum in the middle of Cirencester today. Her mother did what she had been threatening to do and returned to the car. The fenianette however remained tantrumic and also got chopsy with me. Unable to visit lasting physical harm on an eight year old child - or at least on one that is so to say on my "flick" - I struggled for a response for about sixty seconds.

Then in my best parade ground voice I shouted "Look everybody, here's an ungrateful, rude, badly behaved brat."

I don't know what immeasurable harm it has done to her self-worth but by fuckery she shut the bejasus up and embarrassedly, returned meekly to the car, where her mother had her on an impromptu Long-haired COs orders. I have never seen such a command of the English language nor such psychological cruelty.

Truly TFB, is indeed not only too old to breed from but is possibly entering the "too vicious for a pet" category...
 
#3
I've just explained to the Frau why I spilled my tea by reading her your post.

She's asked me to ask what the Fenianette wanted in the first place to make her throw a track.
 
#4
#5
My best idea to stop children making you look like atilla the hun is not take them shopping, instead of making a family day out of it either you or the frau goes and the other keeps an eye on the kids. This has a two fold approach;

1. you can have a leisurely time shopping (??) without interruptions.
2. you don't have to buy them any shite or sweets or toys etc meaningyour hard erned money can be more appreciated on stuff for yourself.

Worked for years until the kids realised that being good and not giving a scene out of home alone could bring them plenty abound....
Well they think

Was this the sign of a bad man......

You could always lock em in the cellar till you have finished;)
 
#6
I always liked this one in Viz's "Top Tips":


YOUNG mothers: Calm hysterically crying children in the supermarket by firmly slapping their legs and then tugging them along by the wrist.
 
#7
I truly hate to break this to you but the teen years are still ahead. When they are in their teens your brain deteriorates and you become very stupid and the child(ren) will not hesitate to tell you this quite frequently. Once they pass 20 your brain revives and they will actually acknowledge that on occasion you are actually right. By the mid twenties they are actually decent caring human beings.

It is just those teen years (shudder!!)
 
#8
Reminds me of an event in Mcdonnalds some years back.

A group of four teens aged about 14 to 16 were eating at a neighbouring table and being slightly above average stupid. While I was treating my friend's eldest lad to a some sort of sauce covered crud in a bun, that he kept telling me was the best sort of burger, like, ever...

It wasn't long before one of the spasy teens threw a cup lid in our direction which landed on our table close to the lad. So I turned a little in my seat and gave this young twat a look that should have left him quaking and telepathically told him to heed the warning... Well, the teen mong must have been short sighted, or maybe thicker than I realised because a few moments later another cup lid arrived through the air.

Loosing patience, I turned looked him straight in the face and spoke very loud and clear; "PACK IT IN - SPOTTY!" He heard me that time, everyone did. Total silence throughout Mcdonnalds as everyone shut up and looked around to see him sitting there bright red in the face with me staring at him... Then someone giggled, and muttered "hee hee, Spotty", and others started laughing at him too. Served him bloody well right! I reckon I did him a huge favour that day and taught him more about good behaviour than his parents ever did!
 
#9
I truly hate to break this to you but the teen years are still ahead. When they are in their teens your brain deteriorates and you become very stupid and the child(ren) will not hesitate to tell you this quite frequently. Once they pass 20 your brain revives and they will actually acknowledge that on occasion you are actually right. By the mid twenties they are actually decent caring human beings.

It is just those teen years (shudder!!)
One of my feckin nephews is the opposite of this. He was ok with us as a 16/17 year old. Now he is 22 and a complete moron. He has had some of the benefits of a Uni degree ( arts and drama) which I never had the chance of. I dont know who he is associating with but he is the guy that I would positively identify as a taig up the woodstock road. Oh I wish.
 
#10
My best idea to stop children making you look like atilla the hun is not take them shopping, instead of making a family day out of it either you or the frau goes and the other keeps an eye on the kids. This has a two fold approach;

1. you can have a leisurely time shopping (??) without interruptions.
2. you don't have to buy them any shite or sweets or toys etc meaningyour hard erned money can be more appreciated on stuff for yourself.

Worked for years until the kids realised that being good and not giving a scene out of home alone could bring them plenty abound....
Well they think

Was this the sign of a bad man......

You could always lock em in the cellar till you have finished;)
I have to take a moment to agree with this.

Whenever I see badly behaved kids in the supermarket, running around screeching, having tantrums and just getting in the way. It clearly indicates parents that are way too tightfisted to use a baby sitter, and are so inconsiderate as to inflict their brats on the rest of us!

Naturally the kid wants some sort of attention, while parent is giving attention to goods and prices instead [or more likely shoplifting by the look of some on 'em]. Answer is, to have the kid babysat by someone instead. Simple really.
 
#11
Euthanasia is wasted on the over 80's
 
#12
Cuddles did you watch Mrs Brown's Boys? Why does TFB make me think of her??
 
#13
What's wrong with battering an 8 year old girl senseless in public? Can you get arrested for that sort of thing now?

DC
 
#15
About a week ago I was sick of asking Demon to do something so I raised my voice. Didn't shout, just talked louder.

"Alright no need to shout"
"I'm not shouting, I just spoke louder as you didn't appear to hear me the first three times I asked you...."
"Yeh well, it's the way you said it, I don't need the attitude you know."

She is not going to make 9.
 
#16
Eh yes....but don't take my word for it DC suck it and see.
Time and place....I wanna be there.
What? Not even a clip around the ear or a swift slap across the chops? Can you get arrested for that too nowadays? That's ridiculous, I was regularly beaten as a child and I turned out all right!

DC
 
R

rogermellie

Guest
#17
About a week ago I was sick of asking Demon to do something so I raised my voice. Didn't shout, just talked louder.

"Alright no need to shout"
"I'm not shouting, I just spoke louder as you didn't appear to hear me the first three times I asked you...."
"Yeh well, it's the way you said it, I don't need the attitude you know."

She is not going to make 9.
Oh well EPB,
never mind i,m sure demon keeps you on your toes :D.
Thing is though epb will you make your next burpday what with all the stress and all that?
Kids cant beat them really.........................pity

Kind regards,

R M
 
#18
Fight fire with fire;


[video=youtube;n6XZ-0ns2yA]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6XZ-0ns2yA[/video]
 
#19
Snipped for brevity:

I reckon I did him a huge favour that day and taught him more about good behaviour than his parents ever did!
Your lucky he didn't shank you good, blud, innit!
 
#20
What? Not even a clip around the ear or a swift slap across the chops? Can you get arrested for that too nowadays? That's ridiculous, I was regularly beaten as a child and I turned out all right!

DC
Debateable DC but I'll take your word for it.

Parental disciplining has taken a nose dive in recent years. The beatings are out so the only options are verbal abuse or the pc method of letting the brats do what they like. Should take us about 20 years before it's realised the experiment hasn't worked.
 

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