Child Moving To Oz With My Kid

#1
The ex moved to Riyadh 2 years ago with her new husbands job, and in typical ex slag fashion, the contact dried up, and she all but vanished! I have just received this message on facebook of all places.

"Hello I thought i should tell u I am moving to Australia in the next few months. ****** is very excited and happy about the move. In our visa application they would prefer me to have a letter of consent from yourself. Is this something you would do?"

Now, not wanting to be fucked over by the slag once again, my instinct tells me no. Does she need my permission to move to Oz? And more importantly, what are my rights. Thanks.
 
#2
If you have joint custody, she needs permission to take your child out of the UK. Sorry to hear that you don't get to see your kid.
 
#3
If you have joint custody, she needs permission to take your child out of the UK. Sorry to hear that you don't get to see your kid.
I gave permission for her to take him to Saudi in 08. At the time everything was good, but then she done me. So now she is in Saudi, and wanting to go to Oz, can she make that move seeing in though I already gave permission to leave back then? Or would moving to Oz require new permission?
 
#4
I gave permission for her to take him to Saudi in 08. At the time everything was good, but then she done me. So now she is in Saudi, and wanting to go to Oz, can she make that move seeing in though I already gave permission to leave back then? Or would moving to Oz require new permission?
Don't know the answer to that one. Did you originally state 'Saudi Arabia' in the letter? There may also be an expiry limit for permission. I'm not an expert, just had a mate in a similar position.
 
#5
Don't know the answer to that one. Did you originally state 'Saudi Arabia' in the letter? There may also be an expiry limit for permission. I'm not an expert, just had a mate in a similar position.
I cannot remember if it had Saudi on, I just read it, then signed it. In hindsight, a very stupid thing to do. I should of at least took a copy. Any idea where I go for advice? The internet is a mush of opinions.
 
#6
Carl, try this. http://www.immi.gov.au/allforms/pdf/47ch.pdf Pg 15

This quote is very interesting . . It's from a check list for a migrant application. It might not be what they're applying for but it might give you a start.

If the child is aged under 18 years, evidence that the
sponsor has the legal right to determine where the child
shall live (eg. court order) or a statutory declaration from
each person with a legal responsibility to the child
stating that they have no objection to the child’s
migration, or a court order supporting the child’s
migration.


Note
: Where a non-migrating parent has the legal right

to determine where the child can live, please provide a
statutory declaration from the non-migrating parent
granting their permission for the child to migrate to
Australia, together with a certified copy of the nonmigrating
parent’s identification (eg. passport or driver’s

licence).
So the Saudi letter probably won't be adequate for their needs?​
 
#7
I'm no expert and you need good advice from someone who is qualified.

But judging by the "Oh, by the way" manner in which her message was written, my guess is that she is trying to play down something that she knows is going to be a real stumbling block to her, should you not give permission.

Edited to add:
It's also a reasonable assumption that permission was given for Saudi on the reasonable expectation that as an expatriate, there is a strong likelihood of a return to Uk after the end of a contract. Emigration to Australia may be seen as something permanent and therefore quite different
 
#8
I'm no expert and you need good advice from someone who is qualified.

But judging by the "Oh, by the way" manner in which her message was written, my guess is that she is trying to play down something that she knows is going to be a real stumbling block to her, should you not give permission.

Edited to add:
It's also a reasonable assumption that permission was given for Saudi on the reasonable expectation that as an expatriate, there is a strong likelihood of a return to Uk after the end of a contract. Emigration to Australia may be seen as something permanent and therefore quite different
Yes, your right, I did feel it was being played down. She would not contact without the need to I believe. I have 2 other children with my current Mrs, the oldest is 9 months younger than the one the ex has, and there were very close. She went on to have another child, 3 kids, 3 fathers now. I will ask for that letter I signed, at least then I will know where I stand with that. It was on the understanding of a 2 year contract, but I later found out that it was her husbands job that took them over there, not hers.
 
#9
Ask her to forward a copy of the letter you signed so that it can it be amended . At least then you will know what you have signed and given permission for when you signed the documents

You can't use a child to prove a point against your ex because you both have different values in life .

That child's welfare is paramount , if you really do want to spend time with your child ,then don't give permission for the child to go to Aus .

But if you are just not giving permission for the child to go to Aus to get back at the Childs mother this is wrong .
I tend to agree with the above. From the tone of your post I get the feeling that you aren't really that close to your son although I apologise if I got hold of the wrong end of the stick.
If you are going to prevent him moving to Australia then you must be prepared to take a far more active part in his life and you may have to fight for custody and access rights. What is paramount is your son's welfare and well being and if you're prepared to let him go then it's important that you maintain as many links with him as you can, he needs to know that you are a part of his life and that it was for his benefit that you let him go.
With the internet it is far easier to keep in touch these days and a web cam can let you communicate together even though he may be the other side of the world.
I hope things turn out as you would want.
 
#10
I tend to agree with the above. From the tone of your post I get the feeling that you aren't really that close to your son although I apologise if I got hold of the wrong end of the stick.
If you are going to prevent him moving to Australia then you must be prepared to take a far more active part in his life and you may have to fight for custody and access rights. What is paramount is your son's welfare and well being and if you're prepared to let him go then it's important that you maintain as many links with him as you can, he needs to know that you are a part of his life and that it was for his benefit that you let him go.
With the internet it is far easier to keep in touch these days and a web cam can let you communicate together even though he may be the other side of the world.
I hope things turn out as you would want.
For the first 6 years of his life I was there weekly/school holidays etc.. when work would allow, until she moved him away, which I reluctantly agreed too as it would benefit my kid, and it was only going to be for 2 years....or so I thought. I would have him here tomorrow if I could, my Mrs is okay with that, and he has 2 brothers here too. As you can understand I am very reluctant to sign another document due to having my fingers burnt last time. I have just asked her to forward the previous letter.
 
#11
Carl, it's a hell of a shit position to be in. Unfortunately i can't help in any way but i sincerely hope it all works out to your and your sons benefit.

Keep us in the loop please.

Best of luck.

Dogs
 
#12
Looking at the wording in the Migration document, she needs your permission if you still have a legal right to your son.

So to me there's only a couple of options you can take:
a) If you refuse to give her the right to take your son to Oz, she'll probably take it to court, where it'll cost her (and you) a stack of cash for lawyers, and as you've already given permission once the courts might not look in your favour?
b) You agree in principle for her to take him, but build in some caveats about access, visitation and travel cost reimbursement, which you get her to agree to legally and only then do you give your (written) permission.

Option b looks the best bet as you can use the letter to gain some leverage.

As mentioned before, don't be a twat for twats sake. Think of your son.

Good luck
 
#14
Cheers for the advice. Following on from my request of the letter I signed in 2008, she sent this:

"I no longer have the letter. I just need a letter saying that you carlbcfc, ***** father give your consent for ***** ****** to move to australia to live and sign and date it.

Then could you please send it to my mums address:...."


Is she for real? I have yet to reply to this, and I will choose my words carefully when I do.
 
#15
Cheers for the advice. Following on from my request of the letter I signed in 2008, she sent this:

"I no longer have the letter. I just need a letter saying that you carlbcfc, ***** father give your consent for ***** ****** to move to australia to live and sign and date it.

Then could you please send it to my mums address:...."

Is she for real? I have yet to reply to this, and I will choose my words carefully when I do.
Could she actually be in the UK just now? If she is then surprise her with a visit and get to see your son again. Even offer to have custody of him and let her go to Oz without him. Put the squeeze on her. F4J.
 

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
#16
Could she actually be in the UK just now? If she is then surprise her with a visit and get to see your son again. Even offer to have custody of him and let her go to Oz without him. Put the squeeze on her. F4J.
Unless she's already moved to Oz temporarily, using her mum's address so the OP doesn't realize!
 
M

Mark The Convict

Guest
#17
Own additions in blue.

"I no longer have the letter...

BS.

...I just need a letter...

The operative word; if she really does need it, then there's your advantage.

...Then could you please send it to my mums address"

Why? She's trying to keep something from you re. her current loc.
Carl, this sounds like a bastard situation for a father to be in, I'm glad it's not me. The others are right, you need expert opinion (of which mine is not an example)

Good luck, and keep us posted.
 
#18
Actually permission is needed before any child can be granted entry to Australia, regardless of the visa status.

Just be carefull, as no doubt DIMA have also informed your x that existing payments/custody arrangements for the child must be adhered too. Your x will receive no govt assistance for the first 2 years the same will apply to the child. Basically, the department will want to know the A to Z of all agreements and court sanctioned agreements for the child. If there is a court sanctioned agreement in place for child payments it will have legal standing here....the same applies to access....and yes I do appreciate the difficulties in this, as you are in UK, your child will be in Aus.

I don't want to say anything else in a public forum, if you need further info send me a PM.

All the best
Zaza
 
#19
Carl....I found something that might help. Check your PM
 
#20
She never did give me contact details for the Saudi address. The excuse before she left was "it's a compound, not sure" She told me it was Ranco Village before she left, when things were going ok RANCO VILLAGE ::

IIRC that letter was for the benefit of the Saudi Embassy.

zaza & all, thanks for the PM, and help, it is very much appreciated. The power of Arrse is great.


Here is a few bites from out facebook ding-dong:


EX
This is exactly the response i expected from you.
Not thinking of ****** best interest. I dont need your permission i can take him where i like as you have no rights. have taken care of him on my own with no help from u at all. He gets the best education and a good life and it will be even better in oz if u want to try and stop that for him thats down to u. As for u having ****** i would give u a month and i guarantee u would be begging me to take him back as u dont know how hard work he is!
I have asked ****** before if he would want to live with u and he said no.
What kind of life could u give him?? He's not used to life in uk anymore he finds it boring!

My Reply
First off, it was ****** best interests I thought about when 'I' signed the letter allowing 'you' take him to Saudi for what 'you', told 'me', was 2 years maximum. You did not have ****** best interests at heart when 'you' stopped making contact. You forget, as well as me, ****** also has 2 brothers here, and a lot of family who miss him. 'You' are the one keeping him away from them.

So you, "can take him anywhere"... right?... So why bother messaging me then? Oh, thats right, because you also know the Australian migration laws, just like I do.... Page 15, on the lower right.. http://www.immi.gov.au/allforms/pdf/47ch.pdf

As for "taking care of him on your own". You received money from me, and I had him weekly. I have proof of you receiving money, so don't come that one.

I am all for giving ****** a good life, remember, it was 'me' who allowed 'you' to take my son temporarily, on the presumption of a good job, and a chance to get a head start in life after the crap early teenage years you had. But then I found out that was utter crap, and that it was your husbands job for **** that took you to Saudi.

What kind of life could I give him? Well considering I have an 8 year old, and a 3 year old at home with me 7 days a week, a house, job, stable long term relationship with my other kids mother etc.. I would say I am very capable of looking after kids. My kids here have only ever known one Dad, how about yours? (for the benefit of Arrse, she has 3 kids, 3 fathers)


The point is, I want to see my son, so does his brothers, and family. You are free to go, just leave him with me.....

Ex:

Thank you for your help.
I dont know why i tried to reason with u. I will have to go down the route of going to court as my solicitor had advised to prove u have no parental responsibility.

My Reply:
So how have you tried to reason with me then? What are you possibly going to come up with in court as reasonable on your behalf? Running away to Saudi, and stopping contact reasonable? No! Is allowing you to take my son abroad for a 'job' reasonable? Yes!.... ********, you are selfish and deluded. It has to go through court now, as I want assurances of access that only a court can provide.


Ex:

You are such a good dad that my husband is paying for your sons 15.000 a year education. get real!
As for threatening me quit while your ahead,dont play games with me. (where was the threat in the previous message?)
As for me working I am a teacher.
Contact well we live in saudi arabia. What contact do u expect?
You agreed on pictures and i sent them. (no she never) What more can I do!! I'm not a nasty person i just dint want ****** getting confused,upset etc and i thought an odd phone call here and there would do that. (this is an admission of her stopping contact right?)

****** living with you iks something i'm not even going to get in to with you. He does not want to!!! I really have asked him before and he said. No i wouldnt want to!| He said i want to live with you mum.

You are not going to help me so lets leave it at that.
I dont want to play a game of tit for tat with you.
Y es i have moved away for a better life for my children. ****** knows your his dad and if i lived in uk you would see him but i dont and he has a life in saudi arabia andi dont want to mess with his head.

My reply:

....What it cost to school ****** was not a decision I got to make. Your husband sounds like a decent man, you want to keep hold of this one. Not many would take on 2 other mens kids. Me and him have no issues what so ever. I know for a fact if something better came up, you would be off, that is just you.

What I do know is that you have no legal right to stop me seeing my son. You have created the lack of contact, not me. The court will see that.

Ex:

O.k if thats the route you wish to take then that is what i will do.
My solicitor informed me that you have no rights so this will be an expensive and you wont get what you want in the end.
For the simple reason that i am not moving back to ********.
If i dont go to australia the i will stay in saudi i'm afraid.
So the only contact you could get would be phone calls and photos.
Do you want to go to court for that?
I DID NOT REPLY, AND SHE SENT ANOTHER NOT LONG AFTER..

Ex:

Tell me what you are hoping to get from the court?
I will speak to my husband and work out what we can actually do!
if not i will have to work out when i can get over to go to court.
 

Similar threads

Latest Threads

Top