Chilcot Poetry Corner

#1
They say justice is poetic. On that basis I thought a little song might be in order to cheer up tomorrow's hearing. I've conjured up the first verse, but I leave it up to you worthy lads to continue it... So, to the tune of Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer....


The Ballad of Tony B. Liar

Tony the Lying B@stard

Has a very lengthy nose

And when he tells you something

You can even watch it grow


Right, in your own time!!!!!!
 
#2
When Tony went out to the Gulf
And said 'On behalf of the country I thank ya'
From General to Trooper they thought
Fcuk off back to London you w@nker! :twisted:
 
#3
To a Noose

Wee, sleekit, cowrin, Tony-ous beastie,
O, what a panic's in thy breastie!
Thou threw away our nation’s honour
As if ‘twere worthless!
And laid us down with US mongers,
Thou utter penis!

I'm truly sorry Parliament
Has broken all forbears intent,
An' swallowed flimsy case for war
Like alcoholics
Each lie and each exaggeration
Although ‘twas bollocks!

I doubt na, thou will be afraid;
The lies ye spun will take their toll
But never grieve the cost ye paid
Wi blind obedience;
And lives o’ many a better soul,
Whaur is yer conscience?!

Thy wee-bit housie, in Winslow Hall
It's silly money you’ve been earnin’!
For tellin’ glaikit septic gatherin’s,
Their heart’s desire!
An' ne’er a thought to squaddies burnin’,
In Iraq’s quagmire!

Still thou are damned, if up to me!
The past-times soon will toucheth thee:
And och! I backward cast my e'e,
On drear performance
An' forward, tho' I canna see,
I pledge remembrance!
 
#4
THIS BE GORDON'S VERSE
(with apologies to Philip Larkin, the miserable git!)

They fcuk you up
Your predecessors as prime minister
They leave you all the lies they told
To be enquired into

But they were fucked up in their turn
By lack of good integrity
To rapt on staying there in power
To tell the truth to you and me

Tone hands on misery to Gord
It deepens like a coastal shelf
For fcuks sake tell the ******* truth
And don't tell any lies yourself...
 
#5
With only slight amendment:

I could not dig, I dared not rob,
Therefore I lied to please the Yanks.
Now all my lies are proved untrue,
But I'll still draw upon their thanks.
My lies were true as true, I cry
For I'm a pretty straight kinda guy
 
F

Flash Back

Guest
#6
It is nearly here
The time when we read the truth and
See that **** Bliar hung

(i'm shit at poems. it's supposed to be a haiku)
 
F

Flash Back

Guest
#7
Iraq inquiry delay very serious, says senior Tory
Delays to the publication of the official inquiry into the Iraq war have become "very serious", the head of an influential Commons committee has said.

Conservative MP Bernard Jenkin said the report was "at least four years overdue" and an explanation was needed.

Mr Jenkin, who chairs the Public Administration Committee, urged ministers to "sort this out".

The government said it had been in talks with the inquiry and that the process would end as soon as possible.

Sir John Chilcot's inquiry into the war started in 2009 but two years later it was still taking evidence from key witnesses.
 
#9
(ahem) My attempt at haiku:

WMD, Blair proclaims -
Loudly, proudly, wrongly.
America's poodle shamed.
 
#10
To a Noose

Wee, sleekit, cowrin, Tony-ous beastie,
O, what a panic's in thy breastie!
Thou threw away our nation’s honour
As if ‘twere worthless!
And laid us down with US mongers,
Thou utter penis!

I'm truly sorry Parliament
Has broken all forbears intent,
An' swallowed flimsy case for war
Like alcoholics
Each lie and each exaggeration
Although ‘twas bollocks!

I doubt na, thou will be afraid;
The lies ye spun will take their toll
But never grieve the cost ye paid
Wi blind obedience;
And lives o’ many a better soul,
Whaur is yer conscience?!

Thy wee-bit housie, in Winslow Hall
It's silly money you’ve been earnin’!
For tellin’ glaikit septic gatherin’s,
Their heart’s desire!
An' ne’er a thought to squaddies burnin’,
In Iraq’s quagmire!

Still thou are damned, if up to me!
The past-times soon will toucheth thee:
And och! I backward cast my e'e,
On drear performance
An' forward, tho' I canna see,
I pledge remembrance!
Rabbi eat yer fekkin' heart oot .
Slainge ....and have a like.
 
#11

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