chick pissin in public

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Chris_2oo6, Feb 18, 2008.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. About 11pm one evening I heard someone coming in my front gate. I looked out to see who it was and there was some bird squatting down just behind the gate letting flow.

    At the time there was a night club just up the road from me. From time to time you would get a couple of p1ssed up blokes stopping to use the gate as a urinal. But this was a first.

    I thought this is not on. I went out and was able to walk right up behind her without her noticing. "Can I help you" I said. She screamed - don't think she p1ssed herself though she was doing that already :D

    Anyway then she pulled her pants up and fled. Dirty scrubber.
  2. Golden showers ...mmmmmmmmmm
  3. good actions by the old chap..
    mind you the coppers would have had him for assault.
  4. Could have been worse - she could have crimped one off. Mrs Burpa was caught out while we were on holiday in Cortina. She crimped one off - a controlled burst - outside a convent before we both fled for cover. Then she shat in our tent and then in a Tesco bag.
  5. Scat munching .......mmmmmmmmmmm
  6. That's what I call a shite package holiday! :D
  7. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Once, many years ago, when tehre was a spate of haystack arsons, I was put in an obs position on a huge stack, and other copeprs were in other locations.
    Long story short; at end of time, about 9pm, I was waiting in a small lay by near the stack to be collected. car pulled into lay by, not police car. I shrank back into bushes. Woman of about 26 got out of car, walked toward bushes, dropped panties, lifted skirt and gushed. When she finished, stood up and looked around. She was about 4 ft from me. Since it was dark, she didn't notice me, but you know what it is like. Sometimes it doesn't register that you have seen something until later. Since she looked directly at me, I often wonder if she had a flashback.
  8. I did, thanks for sparing my blushes :p
  9. Good drills. You would have needed her to piss it out as the flames rose higher and higher to your pos.
  10. Similar experience to you had been coming back from the take away when I noticed two fat chav birds walking in front of me near the back of my garage next minute the fatter of the two turns round and with a well practised motion pulls down her pants and squats down letting her fat gut dangle out. As they hadnt seen me I then asked them what the fuck they were doing trying to piss against my garage door.

    In typical Preston chave speak Stop watchin I'm having a piss
    Me not against my garage door effing shift it fatso
    I need a piss turn round and stop watcinh
    Me 2 seconds to get up or a bucket of water is getting dumped over you
    fat bird yadda yadda only wanted a piss as she pulled her skanky pants over her flabby gut
    hope the blotter swamped her knickers as she walked off knees pointing inwards :lol:
  11. you get such a nicer class of lady ,,upp norf..
  12. Was working in a bar once, many moons ago. Had to head out back to take some empty barells to the storage cage outside. Opened the door to find this chick, blind drunk, in the process of dropping her knickers to have a piss. I proceeded to stand there and watch, calling to my mates back in the bar as I did so. She'd obviously drunk a lot as she was pissing like a racehorse. We stood there for a good few minutes offering encouragement. She either didn't take any notice, or didn't even know we were there...
    We even offered her some tissue to wipe with after...

    Same thing happened with a couple of lads a few nights later. Then it was straight out with the hose as we were 'cleaning' the back area of the bar. Pity the lads got a good soaking...
  13. He probably only booted her so he could take his shoes home afterwards for a good ole sniff of em.

    ..... thats not healthy that I'd think like that is it.....