Cheryl Cole in Bastion

#2
Poor old Louis Walsh would probably be stuck with the Afghan local police.
I imagine that would be mutually pleasurable & wouldn't involve poor old Louis having to hang around the gentlemen's lavatories in Dublin hotles. Allegedly.
 

chrisg46

LE
Book Reviewer
#4
US "forces recruiters set up shop outside stadiums. Perhaps the British army could do the same, and set up its stall by the X Factor audition queue"

God help us...

"Its mah dream to join da armah, its mah life, ah cant imagine doing anythin else..... WHADDYA MEAN, AH CANNAE FOOKIN SHOOT? Ah get top score on Call o' Dooteh ALL the time! WELL FOOK YOUS"

cue the band executes smart drill movements, to the left, right and about turns and march off in different collections, apart from one mong who is standing there staring vacantly into space
 

the_boy_syrup

LE
Book Reviewer
#5
That's a funny looking warrior do they do a convertable version?
Shame on the RM for not enrolling her in a naked roll matt fighting course.
Serving food on a tri star - pisses all over Dame Vera Lynn singing to troops from the back of a jeep in the jungle.
 
#6
The world is definitely ending, that was an excellently written piece. As has been said the timing of the visit at a point where she is liable to slip in to obscurity ( and sooner the bloody better) and the amount of guys it ties up when they could be doing something else. Why couldn't she fly in as part of the CSE shows without the pomp and circumstance, it would have been better for her and the guys in the end, although her actual singing would have me running a mile.
 
#7
Shock and awe: how Cheryl Cole gave the British army the X Factor | Life and style | The Guardian

A rather good and thought provoking article from the Grauniad. There's a link to the Mirror story and some cringeworthy photos.
I liked this comment.

Phud15 September 2011 8:59PM
Publicist: "The US X Factor was a bust, the union with Ashley was a non-starter... we had to think of something that will give you optimum publicity, so we're sending you to Afghanistan to boost morale amongst the British soldiers."
Cheryl: "Isn't that, like, dangerous, like? couldn't I be killed?!!"
Publicist: "Don't worry, if you have to sing, there'll be a sheet of bullet-proof glass between you and the squaddies."
 
#8
On target: Cheryl was cheered when she fired her gun
It is not a ****ing gun, it is a rifle. Drop Shorts fire guns.
 
#9
OK, own up, who posted this one?

"Given the whole American excursion fell through, this was her last chance to get some work in a land full of guns and religious nutters."
 
#10
I do miss the CC1 number plate parked outside my office door.
 
#11
Shite publicity stunt on her part. I,d have had more respect for her if she,d have doffed off and turned tricks for them.

The booties need to work on her marksmanship principles as well.
 

Andy_S

LE
Book Reviewer
#12
Geri Halliwell refused to let troops take photographs of her performance?

I am not surprised Vera Lynn was aghast.

Given that the over-stretched RE cannot be expected to outfit a piranha pool at such short notice, would it be a great tragedy if one these "stars" fell out of a heli into - say - a minefield?
 
#14
Either way, I'd love to smash her back doors in. Unfortunately I'm not black.


And I'm an ugly ****.
Then our soon-to-be-a-civvie dusky drop short is in with a shout then?


"Why Aye man, I dinna mind a bit a black like, but not if tha givving me shite in the neet club!"
 
#19
It IS The Mirror FFS, the pics were probably taken in a TA centre oop North
No, because Cheyl Cole actually does batter dusky people for fun while those TA wallahs just simulated it for money...
 
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