Cheryl Cole binned

As much as I love her and want to feast on her rosebud anus I've been forced to choose and as a result cast her aside.

I've always harboured a soft spot for Alesha Dixon and was a closet fan of celebrity come dancing when she was on it. Not for the gay dancing, but to see her strutting round in skimpies and gyrating.

Sat at home, dosed up on manflu ointment and tablets she came on MTV with her new single. Kudos to her, I am the poorliest man on earth, but halfway through I was sporting a semi on...... by the end of the song I had a full compliment of blood rushing the the dome in my helmet.... I am too poorly and weak to give it a wrestle, but its made me wake up and realise that any chick capable of that is worthy of some love and affection.

Isn't she lovely, I love her........ so spare me the hurtful 'I would' and 'She'd get it'

You can have your turn when I've got bored of her and scarred her for life..... physically and mentally.

I've invited her over for a go on my sex swing and for some Lancashire hotpot. If she lets me take photos, when its over and I don't love her anymore I'll post them here and on youporn.

You can tell I like her, there is more snot like substance oozing from the end of my stem than there is my nose....... and I've got full blown, never been worse, poorly manflu.


Book Reviewer
Natalie Imbrugalia been let off the hook then ?

Bagsy next dibs
Cheyl Cole is ok until she opens her big north eastern gob.

Now, if she had a voice and accent like Honor Blackman, that would be totally different. You'd see me on crime watch having bundled her in the back of a Transit van.
Natalie No, The love for her is permanent and everlasting, she's a sort of wife.

She understands that I want to nibble Alesha dixons bot bot...... I'd just prefer it if she'd join in and help me
Cheryl Cole? Would be great with a ball gag in. Lovely looking but for God's sake, please don't let her speak.

Alesha Dixon? Nice choice MDN - even I would... :D
fwuffy said:
even I would... :D
Not with a knife in your neck you wouldn't.
I'd give it a go though - I'm a stubborn girl *grins*
Never heard of Ms Dixon until now, But having just spent half an hour going through the Google Image results for her, I have to agree.

I'd let her do a number two on my chest. Then smash her to pieces.
Sorry MDN, I would and she would definitely get it, I might even let you have what's left when I'm done.
Double_Duck said:
Sorry MDN, I would and she would definitely get it, I might even let you have what's left when I'm done.
Don't apologise! Just do it and send him the movie :D
I too humbly submit the urge to smash her pastie till she was dripping like a busted fridge.
jarrod248 said:
cernunnos said:
jarrod248 said:
I've never heard of her.
You won't find her in the pages of "The Chutney Ferreting Gazette" or in "Fudge Packing Fun"
ahh but does she have a brother or two?
probably. but i'm guessing they have standards


Book Reviewer
Fair to say I've had worse

I would shag it 'till the neighbours complained about the smell

One can see a pattern developing here, a bit like Rod Stewart and his string of seemingly cloned blondes...
Alesha's just a dusky version of Cheryl, or Cheryl's just a pale imitation of Alesha.
Both extrememly doable, but if it's long dark hair down to the bottie and legs up to the armpits you're after, I think Dickinson beats Dixon, and she's a bit more age-appropriate:

Looks like you been at her already...
Rancid septic gobby, up her own arrse slapper........ how can you compare her to the woman I want to spray?

OK, she is passable for a fifty year old, but who wants to fcuk a 50 year old tuppaware bowl.
I'll just stick with the ginger one from girls aloud if that's ok by you fine ladies and gents

oh yes i see it now..
what a cracker
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