Chelsea gunman

#1
Seems the Chelsea gunman was a former member of the HAC

The soldier now has met his rest,
he was a trained reservist,
he's learned a crucial lesson,
don't shoot at coppers when you're p1ssed

Trained in the military craft
Shot a copper when drunk and daft
No one at the cop shop laughed


Rest in peace, and fire up the bandwagon, the fatties are in town
 
#2
Bad drills starting a gunfight then getting naked, he should have built a Ned Kelly outfit from a dustbin and a bucket. He could then wander the streets unhindered by the old bill shooting peoples windows.
 

cpunk

LE
Moderator
#3
He drank a load of whisky,
said: 'It's time to have some fun'
then he whipped off all his clothing,
and went and got his gun.

He opened fire on passers by,
he put King's Road to flight,
'til CO19 shouted,
'You'd better stop this fcuking sh1te!'

He said 'Come and get me coppers!
The more the fcuking merrier',
So they shot him with their rifles,
RIP ex-terrier.
 
#5
Gremlin said:
The widow is quite fit!!!
Aaaahhh back to the ARRSE attitude we all know and love, thank God for that. I was really worried that the RIP bandwagon was going to start rolling.
 
#6
When his posh totty went over the side
An HAC man was beside
Himself with his rage
It made the Sun's front page
As he got himself naked then died.
 
#7
I understand that the HAC collect goes as follows

Our farter,
which fart in heaven
Hallowed be thy methane
Thy dinkum cums
Thy will be bummed
In Bunhill Fields as well as in Devon
Give this gay our daily head
And forgive us arse trespassers
As we forgive those that trespass into ours
Lead us not into ejaculation
But deliver us some more weed
For mine is the king's bum
The power of Jackanory
Forever and ever
Arrse.
RIP
 
#8
Not good drills calling a naked bar on your own.......lets get naked and do some shotgunning means something else...perhaps he was confused...
 
#9
I can't believe he was so bloody selfish. It's TA 100 this year, didn't he know? The TA could do without bad publicity.

He goes on the rampage pissed up and tooled up but doesn't actually kill anyone. Makes the TA look bad, that does. I bet he forgot the four principles as well as his skiddies.
 
#10
I wept when I first heard the news,
Of this rejected suitor,
And how his bird was young and fit
But no more could he root her,
And now his pain is over,
Dry your eyes and wipe your hooter,
He's got an extra arrsehole,
Thanks to some copper's shooter.
 
#11
#12
filthyphil said:
I wept when I first heard the news,
Of this rejected suitor,
And how his bird was young and fit
But no more could he root her,
And now his pain is over,
Dry your eyes and wipe your hooter,
He's got an extra arrsehole,
Thanks to some copper's shooter.

You might want to rethink that line, he was 32 and she was 40!
 

OldSnowy

LE
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#13
Ooooooooh...

In Chelsea, down in London Town, t'was in the Spring of 2008,
When word came of the shooting, all the world thought of Prince's Gate
But for this HAC Trooper
It was 'feck 'em, Up the Pooper!'
But the Met got their shots in straight.


Apologies to W. McG.
 
#14
Gremlin said:
filthyphil said:
I wept when I first heard the news,
Of this rejected suitor,
And how his bird was young and fit
But no more could he root her,
And now his pain is over,
Dry your eyes and wipe your hooter,
He's got an extra arrsehole,
Thanks to some copper's shooter.



You might want to rethink that line, he was 32 and she was 40!


Call it artistic licence. Anyway, forty is younger than me.
 
#16
There was a young man from Chelsea
a lawyer, ex-TA, quite wealthy
He rowed with his doris
Got armed, naked, and stocious
And was shot dead by a PC.
 
#17
He had a bit of bother, with the 'lil old' trouble and strife;
So he went and got the Purdey, to try and take her life.

He started popping off the Eley's, at every soul around;
And a thousand Kings Road Charlie's, hit the fcuking ground.

He popped out all the windows, and every blind was down;
He thought his name was 'Maverick,' til the Old Bill rode in town.

They ran into the parlour, to top him with a round;
He used his faithfull Purdey, to defend his honour bound.

The barrel pointed forward, and his drunken face was frowned.
It was no more than a second, 'fore he heard that fatefull sound.

In short it was the bullet, that brought him to the ground.


And all divorcing clients, in sadness be abound' "I'll see you in the morning, to defend against the Crowned"

Edited
 
#18
All is quiet in Chelsea,
No civvies have been harmed,
And here's a turn up for the books
Cops shot some cnut who's armed.
 
#19
Good drills that man...a laywer that saw the errors of his ways; being a thieving scum sucking cunt, and decided to have himself topped.

One can only hope that it catches on.
 
#20
He used to strut the legal stage,
Bewigged, begowned and dapper,
But now he's naked on a slab,
With a bullet in his napper.
 

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