A Ukrainian woman is in the same nightclub as the Chelsea Football Team. She goes up to John Terry, flops out her left breast and asks for his autograph. He duly obliges. Next she sees Didier Drogba. She sidles upto him, flops out her right tit and asks for his autograph. He duly obliges and autographs it. Finally she approaches Jose Mourinho. She lifts up her skirt, pulls her panties to one side and asks him to sign her pu55y. He looks her in the eye "Fcuk off." he says. "Last time I signed a Ukranian cnut it cost me 30 million quid".