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Chefs Privileges and quirky habits

Tongnye

Clanker
First to open the tin of soya links.
Well Harry ,thats a flash capbadge, My first posting after apprentice chef wing, was 6 Flight AAC middlewallop that was may 62, great cookhouse, lots of great looking wrac ladies ,even a few straight ones,cooks club did more business than the naafi and the sgts mess together,was a great posting and a real eyeopener, spent 18months in the teeny weenie airways flying club restaurant under the supervision of 2 resident middle aged scottish waitresses , who taught me all the perks of the job, in the larder, inthe breadstore even in the billet after hours,even put in afew hours in Beavers and skeeters, it was a great unit even went to Volos with 21 flight,the best cooksperc in wallop was weekend picnic baskets for the yuppy trainee pilot officers, when they were wooing the local talent, but thats another story for my paybook:chef::chef:
 

theinventor

War Hero
My dad makes the roasts, and likes them still pink on the inside.
Once he's finished carving there's always a pool of bloody meat juice at the bottom of the dish. Which he then dips a serving spoon into and drinks from. The spoon is then passed round the table for each diner to have a go. First girl I brought home for Sunday lunch nearly passed out when it came to her turn!
 
All of the above CPs apply to me.

And then some.

Certainly diners have had near death experiences when trying to come between me and my crackling. If not death then certainly finger loss. My FiL did a hog roast once and gave me nearly all of the crackling. I felt sick as a dog afterwards.

He didn't have CPs but he had carvers privilege. Every Christmas he shared all the crispy bacon from the turkey with me - all the others could FOAD. At home that bacon is mine, all mine I tell you.

And the:
  • end bits of beef;
  • the "crackling" on lamb;
  • the crispy chicken skin;
  • the knobbly bit on a leg of lamb;
  • chips straight out of the fryer (just checking!!);
  • early wine tasting;
  • larger portions;
  • cutting the rind of rashers and frying them up for myself;
  • the crispy bits on cottage pie, mac&cheese, lasagne etc; USW
Sometimes I am full up before I sit down to eat (only joking).

My kitchen:my rules. Don't like it then GTFO.
 
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My dad makes the roasts, and likes them still pink on the inside.
Once he's finished carving there's always a pool of bloody meat juice at the bottom of the dish. Which he then dips a serving spoon into and drinks from. The spoon is then passed round the table for each diner to have a go. First girl I brought home for Sunday lunch nearly passed out when it came to her turn!

Best bit of a barbecue once the rare steak has rested, been sliced and scoffed along with the boerewors and chops. Bit of warm flatbread fresh off the grill, ripped up and used to sop up the meat juices.
 

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
  • end bits of beef; - Her's as she doesn't eat rare meat :)
  • the "crackling" on lamb; - Mine as she doesn't like skin on meat :)
  • the crispy chicken skin; - Mine as she doesn't like skin on meat :)
  • the knobbly bit on a leg of lamb; - - Mine as she doesn't like skin on meat :)
  • chips straight out of the fryer (just checking!!); - Privilege as she can't cook
  • early wine tasting; - Neither of us are major wine fans
  • larger portions; - Privilege
  • cutting the rind of rashers and frying them up for myself; - Mine as she doesn't like fat on bacon :)
  • the crispy bits on cottage pie, mac&cheese, lasagne etc; USW - Mine as I cook and serve it up :)
Think that about covers it :chef:
 
Inherent privileges don't count.

They have to be conscious acts of greed, theft and self-satisfaction..
 
My dad makes the roasts, and likes them still pink on the inside.
Once he's finished carving there's always a pool of bloody meat juice at the bottom of the dish. Which he then dips a serving spoon into and drinks from. The spoon is then passed round the table for each diner to have a go. First girl I brought home for Sunday lunch nearly passed out when it came to her turn!
My dear wife likes her meat even rarer than me (still mooing/baaing), so there is always a goodly, bloody lot of juices left after a roast. We are very civilised about it - alternate slurps until gone (though my slurps are probably bigger!) :D Using a spoon risks dropping some of those unctuous juices - that would be a crime.
 
I've known several people who ate the cartilage bits off the ends of chicken bones. They can bloody well have them. Also from my rural youth, people who were lucky enough to get a chicken, put the contents of the crop in the stew. My favourite perk is frying bread in the dripping off the joint.
 
Had Abrilliant idea in my early zookeeping days,being spoiled in my last kitchen before ileft the RGJ in Celleon my 3 monthly visits to the hatchery to pick up a couple of 100000 dead cockeral chicks, for raptorfood i got them to let me have 250 live cockeral chicks to fatten up, fed the buggers for 3 months on mast futter not one was over a pound in weight, not even worth plucking scrawny buggers. learnd my lesson
Had Cockerel in a French Restaurant a couple of years ago.
Tastes like Chicken funnily enough, but not fatty or greasy and quite dry. Not much meat on the buggers as you say.
 
I always grill bacon, but any health benefits are immediately cancelled out, as I also then dip my bread in the hot fat left behind in the grill pan! Gorgeous.
 

neil82

Old-Salt
I'm sorry but beans/sphag hoops on toast doesn't fall under the "chef" category but I suppose it's OK if you slice the bread yourself
if my mrs sliced the bread all the beans would slide off, some use an unsliced loaf to make doorsteps, she uses it to make wedges
 
I've known several people who ate the cartilage bits off the ends of chicken bones. They can bloody well have them. Also from my rural youth, people who were lucky enough to get a chicken, put the contents of the crop in the stew. My favourite perk is frying bread in the dripping off the joint.
We were in China in November where we visited a non-touristy Chinese restaurant. One of the menu items was chicken knuckle skewers. We (mistakenly) thought it was a poor translation - they were gross!
 

Issi

War Hero
Parson's nose? Best bit of the chicken.

The 'oysters' are on either side of the underneath of the fowl, roughly halfway along.

As to pickle juice, I was drinking with the owner of a bar in the US Virgin Islands, and he asked one of his barmaids to make him a 'very dirty Martini'.

I was understandably intrigued, but it was just a very large vodka mixed in with pickle juice from a big old jar behind the bar.
I didn't take him up on his offer to join him.
 
At Lords, on a five hundred quid hospitality ticket. I asked the chef to cut me the burnt bit end off of the rib roast.
He did not say it to me but the look on his face.
Could not have been clearer said You C*nt..
 
I did the beef joint in the bbq whilst at Mrs WB brothers house. Just before serving up an uncle turned up and was invited to stay for lunch.
He promptly informed me that he likes the beef well done.
Well that got a bloody good ignoring as I like it med rare and I was cooking. Still he thinks that he will have both the outside ends.
Well that was a mistake as well as they are mine as well.
Guess if I am cooking you have to have it as I like it.


The odd little scraps on the carving board and the crunchy roast tattie bits are mine as well.

As for the crust on still warm home baked bread and fresh eggs from the chickens in the garden, makes the best egg banjo going.
(OM15 or OMD 160 not required )
 
Does wanking into the pot count?
Only if you’re one of the 21 Engrs chefs in the late 90’s in Osnabruck, who got caught by the Orderly Officer one cold early morning. Trousers round his ankles blasting into the breakfast beans.
Apparently he’d been doing it for months and months. Big list of OOs in the poo for not bothering to inspect the kitchen or Duty Chef at half 4 in the morning.
I didn’t know someone could get charged, kicked out and sent back to the UK as a civvy so quick. Less than 24 hours and that guy was toast
 

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