Cheeky Git

#1
Yes I am...

So, Mr Detective phoned me - originally inviting me to voluntarily attend one of the local police station's to be questioned regarding an assault that had happened months back. I was asked to attend at a specific time whilst the footy was on. To which I suprisingly declined. Mr Detective, as obviously anxious as he was for me to attend stated my full address over the phone before stating “I’ll just come and get you then” before he hung up. So I figured it COULD have been a genuine police officer, yet doubted it since no police officer could be stupid enough to potentially breach the DPA that easily. The only way to clarify would have been to attend the station and in all probability get myself arrested for something I had no involvement in, so I decided I wouldn't bother.

Long story short - the match was sh1t and the police came to my house with a warrant for my arrest close to midnight that day.

Ok so I was arrested on suspicion of ABH and Harrassment and shoved in a detention cell for the remainder of the night. Morning came. I refused to have a solicitor present and Mr Detective arrived to interview me on tape.

"No comment"
"No comment"
"No comment"

...etc etc

Shoved me back in my cell. I waited a few hours longer, perfecting an origami crane out of the Code of Practice booklet issued to me on detainment. Mr Detective arrives at the door again and I'm released without charge on 'Conditional Bail' stating I am to return to the police station at a specific date and time. My bail conditions state I am not to contact directly or indirectly Mr Victim whilst my bail conditions are in effect.

No big deal, I'm fine with that.
However, after spending 15 odd hours in a cell with nothing to read but the literature of graffiti on the toilet seat, to have Mr Detective drag me out to an interview room where he aggressively incinuated I was the lowest scum of the earth for things I had no involvement in, I decided I'd jump for the opportunity to be a 'cheeky git' and throw one back on release. I played the fool and asked Mr Detective at the station exit if he could, "Please do me a favor and if you speak to Mr Victim, tell him I said I’m sorry".

Bottom line is, I plan on returning to the police station with a portable voice recording device at the date stated in my bail condition sheet and record the conversation between me and Mr Detective which I assume will go something along the lines of,

Mr Detective: "There's not enough evidence to charge you so you're released without charge"
Me: "OH SNAP"
Me: "So did you tell Mr Victim I said sorry"
Mr Detective: "Yes I did"
Me: "Ok so you admit to willingly acting in direct breach of my bail conditions?"
Mr Detective: "..."
Me: "Also, when we first spoke on the phone, did you or did you not state my full address details without making any attempt to first confirm my identity, potentially breaching the DPA?"
Mr Detective: "..."

It wouldn’t bother me so much, but I can justify my intent to sh1t in his pocket as I believe this guy went way past the point of ‘just doing his job’ while I was interviewed. Atleast I’m not declaring war on the Northumbria Police.

My question is, will the conversation likely go anything like this and if it does, would any voice recording as such be admissible in court? Is there any other way to expose this guy as a complete cnut?
 

the_boy_syrup

LE
Book Reviewer
#2
There was an instance wher a motorist recorded his arrest on his phone and played it in court
He hadn't done anything wrong but was lifted anyway
 
#3
Do yourself a favour and ask for the duty brief to be present or have your own there
 
#4
Remeber remember that most Polis stations are microphoned to the hilt. Cheerfull courtous and condsiderate = no Dick leeway to interpretate your wording to thier questions.
 
#5
If you are going back to the nick you will almost certainly be re-arrested for any interviews and you won't be allowed recording equipment or pen and paper. (******* wouldn't even let me have shoe laces or a belt in the room last time. They did provide me with a rather nice paper suit though.) You should be able to get a copy of the tape - take the opportunity of a duty lawyer.
 
#6
Cheers guys. Monkey, whats a duty breif?

Potentially I don't want to spook the guy into talking like a formal robot. I assume I will be notified all charges are dropped on arrival, so I expect I wont be searched. The recording device will preferably be hidden from view.
Duty Breif sounds like primark underwear.
 
#7
If you are going back to the nick you will almost certainly be re-arrested for any interviews and you won't be allowed recording equipment or pen and paper. (******* wouldn't even let me have shoe laces or a belt in the room last time. They did provide me with a rather nice paper suit though.) You should be able to get a copy of the tape - take the opportunity of a duty lawyer.
Even if I'm 99% sure they have no evidence to further support any allegations made against me, will they still re-arrest me? Cnuts.
 
#8
Asking an apology to be passed on to the victim sounds like an admission of guilt, even a confession, to me. Mind you don't cut off your balls with your rapier wit.
 

the_boy_syrup

LE
Book Reviewer
#9
Cheers guys. Monkey, whats a duty breif?

Potentially I don't want to spook the guy into talking like a formal robot. I assume I will be notified all charges are dropped on arrival, so I expect I wont be searched. The recording device will preferably be hidden from view.
Duty Breif sounds like primark underwear.
Duty Brief is the duty solicitor who will sit in with you and advise you whilst the police question you

As stated above saying sorry could be seen as admission of guilt probably best to see what they say and then make your compliants after they let you off
 
#10
I'm no expert, but I believe that it is 'illegal' to record someone without their permission, hence why whenever you ring a call centre, they give you the bit about 'being recorded for training purposes'.
Therefore your recording would probably be inadmissable should you decide to take it further.
 
#11
You will be entitled to a copy of the recording made under the Code C interview in the same way that you are entitled to a copy of any written statement you may have made. You have already made the 'significant' statement amounting to a confession which the prosecution will argue is both relevant and admissible. Further, in failing to respond to police questions you invite the court to draw 'such inferences as appear proper' by your 'no comment' to every question put. I would not advise you to be as reticent before a judge.

While your narrative may be mildly amusing and your failure to comply with a 'request' to attend a police station 'voluntarily' may be quite proper (since that is how the Police 'beat the clock' in calculatng the time in arrest), you have severely damaged your defence by your failure to have a solicitor present to properly advise you.
 
#12
I'm no expert, but I believe that it is 'illegal' to record someone without their permission...
You're right about one thing, you're no expert. It is not illegal to make a covert recording of a conversation if one of the participants is aware that the recording is being made. The reason that some call centres use the bit about 'being recorded for training purposes' is to cover their arses.

Spearchucker, I can't see any mileage in the "you breached the Data Protection Act" approach. Which specific part of the Data Protection Act makes it an offence for someone to ring you up and tell you your own address. If this were the case, the telephone directory would be in breach of this act.
 
#13
Interesting.
Point 1. You were either bailed to attend at a later date whilst the police continued their investigation, or you were released without charge. If the latter they will need further evidence to rearrest you. Not Both.

Point 2. I doubt that the detective needed to go through the rigmarole of getting a warrent issued for you. If I'm not too much mistaken he doesn't need one.

Point 3.The conversation probably will happen more like this..............

You - "Please do me a favor and if you speak to Mr Victim, tell him I said I’m sorry".
Mr Detective - "yeah, OK"
You - "Right, I'm off." (exits stage right)
Mr. Detective - " What a COCK!"

Point 4 - In deliberately being obstructive and extremely unhelpful with the enqiry ( which, you'll find most innocent people try and help as much as possible) you have given the detective ( who could have probably written the job off as going nowhere and cracked on with more important issues than a couple of twats having a bit of a scrap) you have shown him that you are indeed a COCK!

Point 5. You are a COCK!

POint 6. See point 5.
 
#14
Re Your question.
Quote: My question is, will the conversation likely go anything like this and if it does, would any voice recording as such be admissible in court? Is there any other way to expose this guy as a complete cnut?



Don't know about that...but you've certainly exposed yourself on here as a complete cnut, even a ****.
 
#15
Point 4 - In deliberately being obstructive and extremely unhelpful with the enqiry ( which, you'll find most innocent people try and help as much as possible) you have given the detective ( who could have probably written the job off as going nowhere and cracked on with more important issues than a couple of twats having a bit of a scrap) you have shown him that you are indeed a COCK!
Not to enter into a slagging match over your points, and I am not in the legal or policing professions, but I did see this post on here a while ago, and I do believe it is relevant. It's from the blog of Nightjack, Ruling on NightJack author Richard Horton kills blogger anonymity - Times Online who was of the opinion that innocent people talking to the police often talk their way into trouble, the best bet is to say nothing, deny everything, and let the CPS make their case if they can. He does it for a living, so I'd reckon he knows what he's talking about.

A Survival Guide For Decent Folk

2008 July 24
by nightjack**04/08/08 Moderate Sarcasm Warning **

Paul has posted a number of lengthy replies on the “Modest Proposal” thread. In these days of us increasingly having to deal with law abiding folk who have fallen foul of the “entitled poor” and those who have learned how to use us to score points and exact revenge, I thought it would be a good idea to give out a bit of general guidance for those law abiding types who find themselves under suspicion or under arrest. It works for the bad guys so make it work for you.

Complain First

Always get your complaint in first, even if it is you who started it and you who were in the wrong. If things have gone awry and you suspect the cops are going to be called, get your retaliation in first. Ring the cops right away and allege for all you are worth. If you can work a racist or homophobic slant into it so much the better.

Make a counter allegation

Regardless of the facts, never let the other side be blameless. If they beat you to the phone, ring anyway and make a counter allegation against them. Again racism or homophobia are your friends. If you are not from a visible minority ethnic culture, may I suggest that that the phrase “You gay bastard” or similar is always useful. In extremis allege sexual assault. It gives us something to bargain with when getting the other person to drop their complaint on a quid-pro-quo basis. This is particularly good where there are no independent witnesses. When it boils down to one word against another and nobody is ‘fessing up, CPS run a mile and you, my friend, are definitely on a walk out

Never explain to the Police


If the Police arrive to lock you up, say nothing. You are a decent person and you may think that reasoning with the Police will help. “If I can only explain, they will realise it is all a horrible mistake and go away”. Wrong. We do want to talk to you on tape in an interview room but that comes later. All you are doing by trying to explain is digging yourself further in. We call that stuff a significant statement and we love it. Decent folk can’t help themselves, they think that they can talk their way out. Wrong.

Admit Nothing

To do anything more than lock you up for a few hours we need to prove a case. The easiest route to that is your admission. Without it, our case may be a lot weaker, maybe not enough to charge you with. In any case, it is always worth finding out exactly how damning the evidence is before you fall on your sword. So don’t do the decent and honourable thing and admit what you have done. Don’t even deny it or try to give your side of the story. Just say nothing. No confession and CPS are on the back foot already. They forsee a trial. They fear a trial. They are looking for any excuse to send you home free.

Keep your mouth shut

Say as little as possible to us. At the custody office desk a Sergeant will ask you some questions. It is safe to answer these. For the rest of the time, say nothing.

Claim Suicidal Thoughts

A debatable one this. Claiming to be thinking about topping yourself has several benefits. If you can keep it up, it might just bump up any compensation payable later. On the other hand you may find yourself in a paper suit with someone watching your every move.

Always always always have a solicitor

Duh. No brainer this one. Unless you know 100% for sure that your mate the solicitor does criminal law and is good at it, ask for the Duty Solicitor. They certainly do criminal law and they are good at it. Then listen to what the solicitor says and do it. Their job is to get you off without the Cops or CPS laying a glove on you if at all possible. It is what they get paid for. They are free to you. There is no down side. Now decent folks think it makes them look like they have something to hide if they ask for a solicitor. Irrelevant. Going into an interview without a solicitor is like taking a walk in Tottenham with a big gold Rolex. Bad things are very likely to happen to you. I wouldn’t do it and I interview people for a living.

Actively complain about every officer and everything they do

Did they cuff you when they brought you in? Were they rude to you? Did they racially or homophobically abuse you? Didn’t get fed? Cell too cold? You are decent folk who don’t want to make a fuss but trust me, it pays to whinge and no matter how trivial and / or poorly founded your complaint there are people who will uncritically listen to you and try and prove the complaint on your behalf. Some of them are even police officers. Nothing like a complaint to muddy the waters and suggest that you are only in court because the vindictive Cops have a grudge against you. Far fetched? Wait until your solicitor spins it in court and you come over as Ghandi.

Show no respect to the legal system or anybody working in it

You think that if you are a difficult, unpleasant, sneering, unco-operative and rude things will go badly for you and you will be in more trouble. No sirree Bob. It seems that in fact the worse you are, the easier things will go for you if, horror of horrors, you do end up convicted. Remember to fake a drink problem if you haven’t developed one as a result of dealing with us already. Magistrates and Judges do seem to like the idea that you are basically good but the naughty alcohol made you do it. They treat you better. Crazy I know but true.

So there you go, basically anything you try and do because you are decent and staightforward hurts you badly. Act like an habitual, professional, lifestyle criminal and chances are you will walk away relatively unscathed. Copy the bad guys, its what they do for a living.
 
#16
Are you real?
Tape, where you going to hide the mike? Up your arse?
Your under arrest your kit is turned out with the duty Sergent, but their under your one-piece hair piece cunningly disguised as dandruff.
If you did it get a brief and say you did it. If you did not get a brief and say you did not?
Civy Nick is cushty anyway. TV's play stations, 3 squares and no Sargent major
 
#17
Are you real?
Tape, where you going to hide the mike? Up your arse?
Your under arrest your kit is turned out with the duty Sergent, but their under your one-piece hair piece cunningly disguised as dandruff.
If you did it get a brief and say you did it. If you did not get a brief and say you did not?
Civy Nick is cushty anyway. TV's play stations, 3 squares and no Sargent major
Do one. You 12 year old ****.
 
#19
Like a sniff do you?
Considering I am in still in the Army, thanks for the offer, but no. If that's alright with you?

What did you get kicked out for?
 

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