Cheeky dwarf

Discussion in 'Blue Jokes' started by radiorental, Apr 11, 2013.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. What does a dwarf get if he runs through a woman's legs?

    A clit round the ear and a flap across the face.
    • Like Like x 1
  2. And a clout on the head?
    • Like Like x 1
  3. Dwarf get into a lift next to a tall blonde woman, as the doors close and the lift begins to move he says "can I smell your fanny?"

    She says "NO YOU CAN'T!"

    So he says "Must be your feet then"
    • Like Like x 1
  4. I had a car crash the other day. A dwarf got out the other car and said, 'I'm not happy'. To which I replied, 'Which one are you then?'
    • Like Like x 1
  5. dwarf mindreader gone on the run, local paper headline, small medium at large
    • Like Like x 1
  6. Talking about news headlines......

    A fruitcake rapist escapes from the asylum and strikes again, the paper headline read....

    Nut, bolts and screws!
    • Like Like x 1
  7. Then they discovered that he had in fact raped a laundry worker,
    so the headline became,
    Nut screws washer and bolts.
  8. Female dwarf goes to the doctors and says " I've got a really sore fanny "
    the doc gets out a pair of huge scissors,
    the dwarf panics and says "what are you going to do with the scissors ? "
    doc says "I'm going to cut two inches off the top of your wellies."
    • Like Like x 1
  9. A dwarf boasted to a woman "I can shag you while I'm standing up in the front of your car"

    The woman goes for the idea. Dwarf gets into rhythm and as he senses her arousal he says "Are you ready to really go for it ?"

    She said "Fuck off I'm already doing seventy"
  10. Dwarf says to a single mother I if you take me home and get on hands and knees I can fuck you from behind while I am standing up.

    As they get at it in her lounge her 5 year old son can be heard on the stairs. Woman crawls away and tells dwarf to freeze

    5 year old walks in "Mummy can I have some milk. And what's that ?"

    "Oh that is a garden gnome I bought", she says

    "Well he has one hell of a fucking fishing rod on him" said the boy.
  11. Snow White said "Look I can pleasure five of you at once. bum, pussy, mouth and two hands the other two will have to wank."

    So five dwarfs get into position and the action starts. Snow White becomes aware of a nostril being lubed up by one of the wanking pair. Next thing she had a noseful of dwarf cock.

    Happy says "Oh that's why we call him Sneezy"