Cheating Wife - What to do?

Discussion in 'The Other Half' started by Jimima_Shark, Jan 5, 2008.

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  1. OK I have some pretty damning evidence that points to a SNCO, who is single and in final 2 years of service, is sleeping with a young married JNCO that works, directly, for said SNCO. The JNCO is married to a JNCO who is unaware of what is happening, as most of the time is spent away and has recently returned from a tour of duty.

    Now then what is my next course of action, and what are the possible outcome? Would this be viewed differently depending on their particular service?

  2. If you go official then you will just be seen as a snitch.

    Just let it get around as gossip. It will eventually reach the ears of those who need to do something about it.

    Unless of course it directly affects you and is causing problems, then IMO going official shouldn't be a problem.
  3. Quiet word in his ear telling them it stops or a note to the pair of them saying it would be shame for the photos to get out.

  4. Speak to families Officer/WO, they come under the terms of confidentiallity. Have you proof of any instances where you think this is happening? A wrong allegation can ruin career's and mud stick's. All the best, but I would have a word in the shell of your welfare, I would hate not to know if this was my situation.
  5. this bloke is obviously a turd and parasite, however give him the option of calling it off or stop, before you go to the next level.
  6. If you are the same rank or above him, have a quiet word and warn him off. If you sit below him then report it to the Families Officer.

    Not good form at all.

    If he does not stop, kick the fucking shite out of him.
  7. First, what is your real interest in this? Is the JNCO a good friend of yours? Or are you just trying to get one over a SNCO? If the allegation proves true, the consequences for the SNCO in his last 2 years of service could be severe leading to loss of rank and loss of pension. Do you truly know the family situation between husband and wife?

    In my last two years of service my marriage had broken down completely. I was in the FI for a considerable time and met someone (she is still with me today 10 years on). She was a SNCO and I was a WO and we were both married although she had changed her married status to seperated. Someone 'bubbled' us and we were investigated by the service police from MPA. I was told to change my married status or face court martial, loss of rank and loss of pension. I refused as my duaghter was halfway through her exams at school and by changing my status my wife would have to move out the MQ ... and my daughter would have to change school at a crucial stage in her education. Eventually the whole thing was resolved by the intervention of a very understanding senior officer. But a thoroughly disturbing time for me, my partner and my soon to be ex wife.

    Tread carefully! You need to approach this with caution and think about the consequences to the three people involved. You may get your moment of glory but the emotional upset could be devastating for those involved.
  8. Is my advice too, nobody, least of all the unsuspecting spouses, will thank you.

    This is an age old dilema/leadership and man-management scenario run out on such things as Jnr Offr and SNCO real life things are rarely as clear cut as a 10min group discussion...

    Myself (and another regular arrser) were once in a position where we knew our boss was sh@gging out of watch with another offr's wife....we were in a real dilema what to do?

    We were very junior and the guilty party relatively senior, he was bezzers with our 'CO' and also a very slippery character who no doubt would have rubbished our allegations and swiftly arranged for us to be posted to ben-becula for a few yrs.

    The sh@gger was very close to his PVR (within a few months) and as K13 said, we didn't know the whole story (less that there was definately an affair going on), so we chose to do nothing.

    Were we weak?

    I'd say not, given that this bloke was so close to getting out and any investigation would have impacted on his release date etc etc.
    Ironically, some time after this punter had gone and i'd been posted too, i bumped into the 'CO' at a social. I mentioned in brief this scenario, the 'CO' (who is actually a top bloke), he was genuinely offended that we hadn't gone to him and assured me that he would have investigated properly, bezzers or not.
  9. And just to add another story ...

    5 years ago, whilst in Gibraltar, I met a chap who was an ex RAF SNCO . In the last couple of years of service he was court martialled for having an affair with another RAF guys wife. He was reduced in rank, stripped of his LS&GC, posted and suffered a reduced pension on release. When I met him he was with his wife of 20 odd years ... the same woman who he had the affair with all those years previously!
  10. I am not commenting either way on what to do. I am not briefed up enough on the situation.


    Why the mention of this guys discharge, etc. He may be within two years of getting out, he may well have his rank and pension affected if he is caught.

    Is that not something HE should be thinking about, rather than others.

    If this lad has just come back from tour, and the shagger has been nailing his wife whilst he was away. The guy is lower than snakeshit. Regardless of what is going on in the household.
  11. Well Frog, I would agree there I feel. Shop the loser!!
  12. Your first comment is in contradiction with your conclusion methinks!
  13. Not really k13.

    I say I am not going to advise which coure to take.

    The fact, however, that he is shagging another mans wife is deplorable. The fact he is doing whilst the other man in on tour is unexceptable in this mans army.

    As a SNCO (and obviously a seasoned soldier) he should be upholding a values and standards for the young toms to see, not shredding them. Like I say, regardless of what is going on in the couples home.
  14. enough said!!!

    he should face the music
  15. The 'service question' Has/does his action effect the operational effectiveness of the Regiment? I believe it does if the persons involved are occupying themselves with other matters rather that the job at hand.